21/11/2025
‎10 S*x Lies That Are Destroying Marriages in Silence - Bisi Adewale
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‎S*x is one of God’s greatest gifts to marriage. It is not just for pleasure; it is also for intimacy, connection, and bonding. Yet, in many homes today, couples are quietly suffering because of lies they have believed about s*x. These lies are like silent termites, they eat deep into the foundation of marriage, causing cracks, resentments, and even divorce.
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‎I want to uncover some of these lies so that you and your spouse can be free from their bo***ge. Please read this with an open heart, reflect deeply, and share it with someone who may be silently struggling.
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‎1. “S*x Is Not Important in Marriage”
‎This is one of the most dangerous lies many couples believe. Some think once you are married, s*x becomes secondary, something only young couples or newlyweds should bother about. The truth is: s*x is glue in marriage. It is not everything, but it holds many things together.
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‎A wife who constantly feels rejected or a husband who feels starved of intimacy will gradually withdraw emotionally. They may stay under the same roof but live as strangers. Don’t let your marriage fall into that trap, s*x is important at every stage of marriage.
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‎2. “Men Don’t Need Emotional Connection, Just Physical Release”
‎This is false. Men are not machines; they have emotions too. Yes, a man desires s*x often, but beyond the act, he wants to feel loved, respected, and wanted by his wife. When s*x is done without emotional connection, it leaves both partners feeling empty.
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‎Imagine a husband who gets s*x but feels his wife only “gave in” out of duty, not love. That man will leave the bedroom unsatisfied, even if his body was relieved. S*x without love is like food without seasoning, it fills the stomach but leaves the heart hungry.
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‎3. “A Woman Doesn’t Really Care About S*x”
‎Many men have believed this lie, and as a result, they stop investing in their wife’s s*xual pleasure. But women are s*xual beings too, with deep desires. What differs is how they are wired. For many women, emotional safety, foreplay, and patience unlock their passion.
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‎When a husband believes his wife doesn’t care about s*x, he becomes selfish in bed, rushing the act. This creates frustration and bitterness in the woman’s heart. A wise man knows his wife has needs too, and he takes joy in satisfying them.
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‎4. “Good Couples Don’t Talk About S*x”
‎Silence is killing many marriages. Some believe that if you truly love each other, s*x will “just flow” without discussion. That’s a lie. Every couple is different. Communication is the bedrock of s*xual satisfaction.
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‎If something hurts, say it. If something brings you joy, express it. If you want to try a new approach, discuss it. Silence in the bedroom breeds frustration; conversation builds connection.
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‎5. “Once the Children Come, S*x Must Die”
‎This is a silent killer. Many couples unconsciously relegate s*x once children arrive. Late nights, breastfeeding, exhaustion, all these are real. But neglecting intimacy will leave your spouse starved and your marriage vulnerable.
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‎Yes, parenting is demanding, but never forget: before the children, there was the marriage. And after the children are gone, only the two of you will remain. Protect your intimacy at every stage of life.
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‎6. “Only Men Should Initiate S*x”
‎This lie has wounded many husbands deeply. A man who always has to beg, plead, or push for s*x starts to feel unwanted. Some even stop trying.
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‎Ladies, hear this: your husband also wants to feel desired. He wants to know you long for him. When a wife initiates intimacy, it builds his confidence and strengthens the bond. S*x should be mutual, a dance where both partners reach for each other with joy.
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‎7. “S*x Should Always Be Spontaneous”
‎Movies and novels have deceived many. They make it look like great s*x just “happens” naturally. In reality, life is busy, careers, children, responsibilities. Waiting for spontaneous s*x may mean you hardly ever connect.
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‎There’s nothing unromantic about planning intimacy. Scheduling date nights, preparing your body and mind, and intentionally creating moments of passion, all these strengthen your bond. Spontaneity is sweet, but preparation is powerful.
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‎8. “If My Spouse Loves Me, They Will Know What I Want in Bed”
‎No, your spouse is not a mind reader. Assuming they should automatically know what pleases you is a recipe for disappointment.
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‎For example, a husband may think he is satisfying his wife by rushing into in*******se, while the wife silently longs for longer foreplay. Or a wife may think lying still is enough, not knowing her husband desires her participation.
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‎The truth: express your needs with love and gentleness. Don’t assume; communicate.
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‎9. “S*x Is Just for Physical Release”
‎Reducing s*x to just a physical act is like saying marriage is only about sharing bills. S*x is not just about the body — it is about bonding. It is a spiritual mystery where two become one flesh.
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‎Every time a couple makes love, something deeper than the body happens. Barriers break, love grows, and the covenant is reinforced. Treat s*x as holy, not ordinary.
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‎10. “Withholding S*x Is a Way to Punish My Spouse”
‎This is a dangerous lie many couples practice in silence. Some think denying s*x will teach their partner a lesson or force them to change. But in reality, it only breeds resentment, pushes your spouse away, and opens the door to temptation.
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‎S*x is not a weapon, it is a gift. Using it as punishment weakens trust and destroys intimacy. The Bible even warns against depriving one another except by agreement (1 Corinthians 7:5).
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‎Final Thoughts
‎Dear couples, s*x is not dirty, shameful, or unimportant. It is God’s idea, a holy bond that nourishes your love. Don’t let these lies silently destroy your marriage. Talk, explore, laugh, forgive, and enjoy each other without shame.
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‎Remember, a couple that prays together is strong, but a couple that also plays together in the bedroom is unbreakable.
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‎Wisdom for Couples:
‎Which of these lies have you unknowingly believed? Talk with your spouse today and start building a healthier, more joyful intimacy.
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