Issues in Marriage

09/06/2022

https://www.facebook.com/624543257573773/posts/5686161394745242/

My salary came yesterday and immediately I received alert, I rushed to my husband and asked him how much he needs me to contribute after informing him that my salary has been paid.

Oga thought I was joking and mentioned a figure thinking I was going to contest because it was almost all my salary, I just carried my phone and transferred it to him.

It was doing him like film, I then went ahead to pay the salary of our children's lesson teacher so that he would stop thinking about it.

That's when I realized that he was doing so much without complaining He sees it like his duty and even when the financial burden is too much, he struggles to pay without asking me.

He was so surprised and happy, I know that my money is just a fraction of what he brings but he felt like I gave him millions.

I then told him that I am putting in the effort to make more money so that I can still reduce his stress. He didn't marry a responsibility, he married an helper and he should be feeling more relaxed than when he was single.

I have never felt entitled to anybody's pocket and I won't do that with my husband.

Omo, oga went to the market without even telling me, stocked up the home.

Cooked and served me o, this small support has gone a long way to settle silent quarrels that I didn't even know about.

I will keep working harder and doing my best, men also need support, they are not supermarket. Men needs our support too

05/05/2022

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*My Mum Is A Bad Example!*

I picked my mum's phone to use. I saw some messages coming in. I read how a man was planning to send money to her to abort a pregnancy. I almost fainted. Mum is a preacher of s*xual purity. She always teach us how to pray. How to serve God, how to be chaste.

Oh! I found it hard to believe I read that from her phone. That message affected me. I started having boy friends after that. The message made me so weak. It made me believed no one can stay out of sin. No one can really be pure.

Unknowingly to her, I took more interest in reading her chats. Oh! I saw several men she was dating. I saw where she was meeting them. I saw how they were sending money to her. And this is my mum at home, playing a chaste woman. A woman of purity. This dampen my spirit.

My dad was not bordered, or should I say he didn't take note. They sleep in separate room every night, unless some days they chose to sleep together. And so mum does all her evils at night. Dad is also a pastor.

He pastor one of the biggest church in town. Many souls were converted through him. But his wife was heading to hell.

I started living a strange life. I started doing the same things on my phone. I hooked up with men. But in no time mum caught me. She cried!
I frankly told her, I copied her ways. She couldn't stop crying.

I asked her why? She told me dad pushed her hard into sin. He neglected her. They fight everyday, and so they separated rooms. She was always lonely. She started by having negative friends, who introduced her into those things.

But it was too late for her to draw me back. She repented after seeing the havoc her life made on me. She went back to God. But I couldn't stop this life I found so interesting. I went deeper into sin. It affected my siblings as the first born.

Dad was so careless that he noticed nothing. We still pray together. We still go to church together. But his family is going to hell. My two sisters followed my path. Mum couldn't stop crying and praying everyday. She couldn't open up to dad because we have secret together.

But grace found me one day. But I've been battered. I've lived so recklessly. My mum would have saved that. My dad would have saved that.

Mum and Dad!
The children are watching! Be a good Example! Live a good life! Not in words alone, much more in actions. Don't let your spouse be lonely! Someone will fill your place!
Children! Please pray for mum and dad, when things are not fine!

There is no one that cannot be drawn away into sin. But your fervent prayers can avail so much.
Don't copy the evil ways of your parents! You can save your home!

03/05/2022

30 THINGS YOU MUST DO FOR A SUPER MARRIAGE

Bisi Adewale

“And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭3:25‬ ‭KJV‬‬

There are thirty things you must do to have an enviable marriage. A marriage that is full of joy, peace, fun and romance. Doing them in your marriage will make people think you are foolish, stupid or that your spouse has used “Juju” to capture you.

If you are a man, people will say your wife is using diabolical power to control you. They will warn you that your wife will ruin your life. If you are a woman, they will say you’ve lost your mind. They will tell you that men are not dependable, and you should not put all your eggs in one basket.

You see, the things they call “stupid” or “foolish” are the actual things that make a marriage work. You need to know these “stupid things”. Do them regularly and make your marriage what you’ve ever wanted it to be. Your dream marriage is possible if you can do these thirty things I will be showing you. If you fail to do them, I'm afraid you can NEVER have a great marriage. Reading this and practising them will bring your struggles in marriage to an end. Let me show them to you here.

1. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE WITHOUT SHAME
“And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.” Genesis‬ ‭26:8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Do not be ashamed to love your wife or husband; don’t hide the fact that you are in love. People expect the unmarried to love each other and show it, but the married must not do the same. Don’t mind them. Let them think you are stupid. Love your spouse without shame.

2. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Lots of your friends will prefer you spend time with them than with your spouse. They will think you are stupid if you don’t club or party with them. You are doing well if you ignore them. Spend time with your spouse.

3. TALK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE OFTEN
People hate it when you talk about your spouse. Rather, they will want you to keep quiet about your marital status. Don’t mind them. Let everybody know you are married.

4. PUT ON YOUR WEDDING RING ALWAYS
How many guys are wearing their wedding rings in your office? You will discover that they are few. They are not wearing them because they don’t want people to mock them for being a “woman wrapper.” Don’t join them. Put on your wedding ring; there is dignity in it.

5. WEAR MATCHING CLOTHES WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Can you wear matching cloth with your spouse? Most men do not like this; they don’t want people to mock them. Don’t mind them, put on your “Anco” with your darling spouse and enjoy your moments together.

6. TRUST YOUR SPOUSE
"Women cannot be trusted”, "all men are polygamists", "don’t trust them”, etc., are the music you must have been hearing over and over. They are telling you not to trust anybody. This is not true. Of course, we have some people who are not trustworthy, and we have millions of people you can trust with your life. Unless you have good reasons not to do this, trust and love your spouse with all your heart.

7. SHOP WITH YOUR WIFE
You must have heard that “only weak men follow women to the market”. So they discourage you from shopping with your wife so that you will not be a weak man. This is not right. Have delight in shopping with your wife. Only real men can do this.

8. SHOP FOR YOUR WIFE
Don’t shop with your wife only, shop for her. Go ahead and get what she needs. Hit the mall and get what she wants for her. That makes you more than a husband. You are a lover boy.

9. DISPLAY PUBLIC AFFECTION
Boyfriends and girlfriends can display affection publicly, but married couples do not. This is wrong. You are legally married. Hold the hands of your spouse in public, touch each other, and give each other goodbye hugs and kisses at the airport and train stations.

10. LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOUR MOVEMENT
They told you your wife must not know your movement because you are a man. Sorry bros, you are not just a man, you are the husband of somebody, and that person has the right to know where you are at every time. This is not monitoring; it is responsibility and maturity.

11. LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOUR PHONE CODES
There is nothing bad if your wife knows your phone codes. Why are you locking your phone if you don’t have a skeleton in your cupboard?

12. LET YOUR SPOUSE KNOW YOUT ATM PIN
Letting your spouse know your ATM pin looks stupid to many. But to mature married ones, there is nothing bad about it.

13. COOK FOR YOUR WIFE
The kitchen is not labelled “for wives only”. So get into the kitchen and cook. It may look stupid to ego-filled and village-mentality-controlled people, but it is a great thing to do if you are a good man.

14. SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND FINANCIALLY
You are not a "help eat", you are a helpmeet. Open your bag or wallet and support your husband to pay fees, rent, rate, fares, bills, etc. That is why you are his helper. You are not stupid; you are only Godly.

15. BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND
To some people, it’s not modern to be submissive to your husband. But you must know that it is still Godly, loving and wise to do so. Also, it is a sign that you are a virtuous woman.

16. OBEY YOUR HUSBAND
Don’t just submit to your husband, go ahead, obey him and his leadership. Your husband is the head of your home; humble yourself before him.

17. MAKE YOUR WIFE NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE
Your mum, siblings or friends must not be number one in your life but your wife. That is the only face you will see in your old age. Your parents must have died, and your children must have got married. It is only your wife that will be with you. Love her and put her first after God, no matter what they say.

18. MAKE YOUR HUSBAND NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE
It is wrong to make your children number one in your life. Your friends, parents and siblings are important, but your husband should be the most important. They may think you are stupid; you are not. You are only building your marriage. They will come back to envy you.

19. CONSIDER YOUR SPOUSE WHEN MAKING CAREER DECISIONS
You have a “better offer” somewhere, but it will take you away from your family and make your wife/husband a single parent. Please, don’t take it. Let me give you the BEST OFFER, stay with your spouse and build your career together. It is more expensive to be alone than to be together. It will affect your marriage, children and everything around you if you go. Let them say you are stupid. Stay together.

20. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE MORE THAN YOUR SIBLINGS
Let your love first go to the one you chose; your spouse. Loving your siblings or family members more than your spouse is wrong.

21. BE OPEN TO YOUR SPOUSE
In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Be transparent and honest with your spouse about everything, no darkroom. Share everything from passwords to Facebook, phones, ATM pins, etc. No part of your life should be hidden from your spouse; there should be no off-limits to your spouse. That is why we call it marriage.

22. HAVE SPOUSAL BIAS
Be biased in favour of your spouse. You should always be in the camp of your spouse. People should be able to predict what your loyalty will be and that it will be in support of your spouse.

23. DEFEND YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT
This may look stupid to people, but don’t mind them. Always defend your spouse in public. If your spouse is wrong in public, it is better to keep quiet than join people and fight him or her. Go ahead, defend your spouse in public and tell each other the bitter truth when you get back home.

24. SLEEP WITH ONLY ONE MAN OR WOMAN ALL YOUR MARRIED LIFE
Your friends may be hailing you to get a side chick or side c**k. Don’t mind them. S*x is not better abroad only; get it at home. Sleep with your spouse only.

25. GET A S*XY GIFT FOR YOUR WIFE
Be the one to get your wife a bra, s*xy pants, camisole, s*xy night dress, etc. You should know the size of what your wife wears, from shoes to pants to a bra. I mean everything. Be proud to buy these and let your friends know you do. No shame.

26. WASH EACH OTHER’S UNDERWEAR
Don’t just buy your wife underwear, go ahead and wash them if they are dirty. Most women don’t find it difficult to wash their husbands’ underwear, but men are reluctant. If they do, they can’t say it before their friends. Change the narration. Wash them and say it to your friends if they ask.

27. GO ON REGULAR DATES
Create time to date each other no matter the age of your marriage. If you can’t date, your marriage will be out of date soon.

28. PLAY TOGETHER LIKE CHILDREN
Enjoy playing together with your spouse. Playfulness is the mother of romance. Don’t be official in your marriage, don’t be an executive, be playful and be romantic.

29. KEEP TOUCHING
Enjoy touching your spouse. Holding hands, hugging, lapping, cuddling, back scrubbing, massaging, etc. Make sure you touch each other regularly every day.

30. ENJOY S*X WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Enjoy kinky time with your spouse, I mean real tantalizing s*x. Play for it, crave for it, date your spouse for it, look forward to it, do it with joy, spend time on it and do it with great creativity. You are married, don’t be ashamed to have s*x with your beloved spouse.

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20/04/2022

S*X IS FOOD!!!!!!!read

S*x is not all about making children. You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Seduce your husband, don't always allow your husband to ask for S*x, there must be no timetable for s*x. Be creative, don't be predictable. Give him what he wants. If you loose influence over your husband, you have lost womanhood. Be part of your husband plans.
Don't have too many children, you wanna sell them ? Allow your husband to check in and out anytime.
When a man is s*xually satisfied, he is emotionally stable. Stop saying, is it food ? Yes, s*x is food !!!
As a wife, try to invest in yourself spiritually so you can adequately support him. Build yourself as his prayer warrior so that you will not be forced to pray at the end of your life. Don't allow your husband to provide all your needs, he is not a money making machine. Iron sharpens iron, try to reciprocate.
You are meant to support each other spiritually, financially, physically and morally through thick and thin. You are a builder....Wise woman buildeth her home. Women need wisdom to build their homes. Do not be too outspoken, know when to talk, when to listen and when to be quiet.
Love your husband with all your heart, never tell him, if not because of my children, remember you've known him before the arrival of those children.
Pamper your husband, put his head on your chest and pray for him. Give him unannounced kiss from the back.... mwahhhhhh, don't be too holy to kiss in the public. He is your husband for God sake. Be romantic joooo, it is good for the heart. Some people are not happy that you're happy in that marriage, proof them wrong that you love him and he is your crown, always feel good when you hold him. Don't look 50 while you're still under 40, it drives men crazy. Always keep fit regardless of your age or body.

To men:
Do not take a woman who does all these for granted!
Pamper her, pray for her, cherish her, love her, support her financially, make her feel like your woman! God bless you and your marriages.

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08/04/2022

DON'T STOP CARING, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.

In marriage, conflict is inevitable, there's no marriage that is without conflict. This makes it vital for every couple to learn the best ways to resolve conflict.

If handled properly, conflict has the tendency to promote peace in the home.

One of the wrong ways to handle conflict in marriage is to stop caring for your spouse because you're angry. Doing this usually blow minor issues out of proportion.

It is okay to express your anger, but the way you go about it matters a lot. The Bible says our anger must not cause us to sin. Withdrawing your care towards your spouse would prolong your anger and prolonged anger will most likely lead to sin.

I learnt from my wife that one must not stop caring when angry. She's that kind of woman that would do extra things when she's angry with me. She would be like "Your food is on the dinning, I saw your favourite juice when I went out and I bought it for you, it's there on the dinning table"

Sometimes fear dey even catch me to chop the food, I no wan chop last supper 😁😁😄

But these things work, if she had withdrawn her care, I for don sit down calculate how to take defend myself and justify my actions, I no go gree accept say I dey wrong oo. But showing me care when she's angry breaks me, it makes me sober and wonder what manner of grace she carries. I usually end up tendering a sincere apology and taking responsibility for my actions. And we continue to live even happier than before.

And yes, I now have the attitude of showing more care when I'm angry with her too. I may keep a straight face oo, but my actions will still show that I care. This has been helping us, you may want to try it too.

Sincerely, couples who enjoy peaceful home are intentional about it. Stop thinking that the reason why your home is always on fire is because you marry a bad spouse and those enjoying a peaceful home are the lucky ones. No, change that mindset because it's not true. Start thinking on ways to improve on the situation and restore peace in your home. In as much as you're not giving up on your marriage, then you owe yourself a happy life in that marriage. Stop enduring, think of ways to start enjoying.....yes, it is possible, with God, and with certain steps you have to take.

Whenever you're angry with your spouse, don't position yourself in such a way that your spouse is afraid to apologize to you. Don't make yourself unapproachable because of anger. Doing this will give the devil a chance to make small issues blow up. Focus on the peace that'll reign in your home after the fight has been settled. Focus on having your spouse back, focus on things becoming normal again, focus on the joy of having your friend and gist partner back.

Learn to let go too, don't try to always claim right and stand on it, be flexible, be quick to forgive, and always look forward to settling disputes in calm ways.

When you're angry, do not withdraw your care. May God give you the grace.

©John Adesogan

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06/04/2022

"A man and his wife went to the zoo. They found a Monkey who was passionately playing with his female. His wife said to him, "What a romantic animal."

Then, they found a Lion and his Lioness separated from each other; the silent Lion sat alone in his corner as if the Lioness doesn't exist. His wife said to him, "What a sad scene without love."

Her husband then said to her, “Throw that stone at the Lioness and watch.” When she threw the stone at the Lioness, the Lion roar to defend his Lioness, then She was ask to repeat it with the Monkey, the Monkey then jumped up and climbed the tree 🎄 and abandoned his female to save his own skin.

Her husband then told her, “Do not be deceived by what you see as romance in outward show, often times, it is a deceptive appearance just to hide an empty heart; there are others on the contrary who are relaxed, but their hearts are full of sincere love."

Presently, we have so many in the monkey 🙊 shadow, and few Lion 🦁 nowadays." Copied.

15/03/2022

1. As a Wife, your BEAUTY attracts your husband, but your WISDOM will continue to keep him!


2. Your ELEGANCE catches his ATTENTION, but your INTELLIGENCE convinces him!

3. NAGGING irritates your husband, but your "CONSTRUCTIVE SILENCE" weakens him!

4. Remember that the "BOYISH" character in your husband comes out occasionally. But, your ability to always handle it, is a sign that you are a MATURE WIFE!

5. Every man has SECRET STRUGGLES AND PAINS, including your husband. If you should ever find them out from him, please exhibit the greatest maturity by asking the ORIGINATOR of your marriage(God) to help you with USEFUL IDEAS, that you will suggest to him (your husband)!

6. In the long run, your WORDS matter to your husband than your "LOOKS"! So always invest the RIGHT WORDS!

7. Earn your husband's RESPECT and he will consider you as the YARDSTICK for all his actions!

8. Learn to MOULD your husband's MOODS, and he will NATURALLY give you his "FUTURE" as he recalls your maturity in the past issues!