22/02/2026
"Please I need advice. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. During the festive period last December, he invited me to his family house in his village. I met his parents, some of his siblings, including two of his elder brothers who are both married.
One of those elder brothers lives abroad with his family but came back for the festivities and some building projects. From what I gathered, he will be around until about July or August.
For the 5+ days I spent in their village, this abroad brother was the one driving us around most of the time. He has a flashy Range Rover and was always offering to take us out, either to eat, shop, hang out or watch masquerades. Most times we went out, he took my boyfriend, two of his youngest sisters, myself and one of their cousins. However, on the third evening, my boyfriend, his mum and two of his other siblings went to her maternal home, so the abroad brother took just myself and two of his younger sisters out.
That day, he took us to Shoprite to get a few things. While we were there, I started noticing that he was standing too close to me at times and acting overly familiar in a way that made me uncomfortable. However, I didn’t want to overthink things since he was also playful with his sisters, and he is a married man after all.
He bought things for all of us that day. He got me ice cream, chocolates, some other items and a nice hair dryer after I mentioned that I’m a hairstylist.
It was during that outing that he asked for my number. I felt a bit uneasy but I thought nothing serious could come out of it because he’s married and also my boyfriend’s elder brother. So I gave it to him.
He didn’t message me for the rest of my stay there and acted completely normal, so I assumed maybe I had misunderstood his intentions.
However, when I got back home, he started messaging me every day. Asking how I slept, how my day was going, and sometimes making jokes about being my “husband-to-be’s senior brother” and referring to me as “their wife.”
He also started calling me frequently on video. Sometimes he would say he was at a building site and would show me what the workers were doing and how the project was going.
I didn’t know how to tell my boyfriend about it. Even the few times I tried to casually mention his abroad brother, my boyfriend looked at me in a way that made me uncomfortable, so I decided to keep quiet and sometimes when abroad brother calls me I pretend not to see his calls.
One day while I was working on a client’s hair and couldn’t talk, he insisted I pick his video call. I eventually placed the phone on my tripod and continued working while he watched.
He later complimented my work and asked for my account number so he could “support” me. I was hesitant but I gave it to him. He ended up transferring 300,000 naira to me.
I told him it was too much and that I couldn’t accept it, but he insisted I take it as a gift since I’m their “wife.”
I regret taking that money because since then, he has become more forward with his requests.
The incident that made me finally block him 2 nights ago was when he asked me to video call him while I was going to take my båth so he could wat¢h me. I was shocked by his audacity to make such a request and got really upset. I warned him to stop, or I would inform my boyfriend about everything.
That was when he stopped playing nice and told me plainly that even if I tell his brother, his brother won’t believe me because he has been careful with his messages with me. He also said that no matter what happens between him and his brother, they will always settle eventually. But where would that leave me, especially since I collected money from him without telling my boyfriend?
He went further to say that he could tell my boyfriend that I approached him because he has more money than my boyfriend, and that I was asking him to help upgrade my salon, that I said my boyfriend couldn't even help me with the money, that he would tell my boyfriend that was the reason he gave me the 300k.
He said all this and more on whatsapp call, I couldn't rec0rd it. Hearing all this made me feel h€lpless because I don’t even know how I would d€fend myself.
I am confused and sh@ken. I don’t know if I should come clean and tell my boyfriend everything or quietly end the relationship and avoid going back to that family entirely.
I really care about my boyfriend, he has been good to me and not given me any reason to hůrt or b€tray him.
Please, what should I do?"
