09/08/2026
Nobody really prepares you for this part of marriage.
Sometimes the problem isn't that you stopped loving each other.
Sometimes...
you are still in love, but you're no longer growing in the same direction.
You are becoming more intentional about your faith.
Your spouse doesn't seem interested.
You are becoming more ambitious about your purpose.
Your spouse thinks you're doing too much.
You want to build.
They want to maintain.
You want deeper conversations.
They seem comfortable with where things are.
And suddenly, you find yourself asking a question you feel guilty for even thinking:
"Can I still build a life with someone who doesn't seem to be going where I'm going?"
Let me tell you something important.
Marriage is not a competition to see who discovers purpose first.
And your spouse is not your project.
You cannot drag someone into spiritual maturity.
You cannot nag someone into purpose.
You cannot preach someone into becoming the person you imagined when you married them.
And please...
Don't make the mistake of turning your growth into a weapon against your spouse.
"I've grown, but you're still the same."
"I'm more spiritual than you."
"God is using me, but you don't understand."
Those statements may sound like truth when you're frustrated, but they can slowly destroy intimacy.
Because growth without humility can become pride.
But there's another side we must talk about.
You also cannot spend your entire marriage shrinking yourself because your spouse is uncomfortable with your growth.
There is a difference between honoring your spouse...
and abandoning yourself.
There is a difference between submitting to your marriage...
and burying your God-given assignment.
So what do you do?
You talk.
Not during an argument.
Not when you're angry.
Not with accusations.
Have the difficult conversation.
"What do you see for us?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"What do you think is changing in me?"
"What do you need from me?"
"What do you think God is doing in our family?"
Sometimes what looks like opposition is actually fear.
Sometimes what looks like disinterest is insecurity.
Sometimes what looks like spiritual incompatibility is simply two people who have stopped having honest conversations.
And sometimes...
there really is a deep difference that needs to be confronted honestly.
Don't ignore it.
Don't spiritualize it.
Don't run to outsiders before you've sat across the table with the person you married.
And above everything else, don't make a major marital decision simply because you're frustrated with the season you're in.
Bring God into the conversation.
Because marriage is not just about finding someone who can walk beside you when life is easy.
It's learning how to walk together when God is changing you both.
You may not be growing at the same speed.
You may not express faith the same way.
You may not have the same personality.
But there must be enough humility, love, honesty, and willingness to grow together.
And if you're currently in this kind of season...
Don't panic.
Don't compare your marriage with someone else's.
Don't assume that because your spouse isn't where you are today, they can never get there.
Give room for God to work.
And while you're praying for your spouse...
allow God to work on you too.
Sometimes the person you're asking God to change is not the only person He is working on.
