02/08/2025
"So, I'm a 30-year-old man, I'm going crazy right now. I'm writing this out of anger. My wife just died, & I'm annoyed at what she did to me.
We got married 10 months ago after dating for 8 years. We're of same age but I'm 2 Months older.
Before marriage, I had a basic salary similar to my wife's – very small. Fortunately, her job gave her allow times her salary, which helped a lot. My wife was an only child from a well-to-do family, so they didn't pressure us; instead, they gave us financial support. I, on the other hand, have a large family to support – parents, older & younger siblings, & adopted children.
Honestly, I relied mostly on my wife for support & sustenance. I expected this to continue after marriage until I found a better job.
Just a month after marriage, my wife complained of severe abdominal pain, i thought she was being lazy trying to dodge housework since most women change after getting married.
So, I told her to stop being lazy. We went to the hospital at her insistence, & we found out she was pregnant. I was sad cuz I wanted to wait a year or 2 to have children, so i could use that time to support my elder brother, save some money to travel abroad, & help support in handling other family issues. I remember I didn't talk to my wife for close to 3 weeks when we found out about the pregnancy. I was upset with her. But that was just the beginning of my issues.
Right from the day we found out about the pregnancy, things changed. My wife started getting lazy – extremely lazy. She could vomit from morning to evening. I'd return from work & find her in the toilet or in bed. When I asked for dinner, she'd say she couldn't even stand, so she didn't cook. I got annoyed and fought with her or stopped talking to her for days. At night, she wouldn't sleep – tossing, turning, or vomiting, so I couldn't sleep either.
Then, she stopped using feminine hygiene products cuz the smell made her vomit. Sometimes she wouldn't even bathe cuz when she stood, she'd fall, & she couldn't walk to the bathroom without support. I've seen many pregnant women, but my wife was extreme.
She just didn't want to do anything – couldn't sit, stand, walk, sleep, or even lie down comfortably. Worse, she totally stopped cooking cuz everything made her vomit – even water. She wasn't eating, so she didn't want me to eat either.
When I talked, she'd start crying. Even when I brought food home, the smell would make her vomit. I was frustrated. The worst part was she couldn't work anymore, so she wasn't making the allowances I expected to supplement our income. My family was pressuring me with their needs, which I had to sort out. I thought after the first trimester, things would improve, but they didn't. It got worse, & she had to be hospitalized. Thankfully, her mother sorted out the bills.
When she was discharged, I was expecting her to go to work cuz the vomiting had gotten better, but she started complaining of severe waist pain, HBP, & swelling all over, & then she said she couldn't walk anymore. By this time, cooking, washing, & other household chores, as well as x, were out of the picture. All she did all day was stay in bed, crying or vomiting. She said I smelled bad. I spoke to my mom about it, & she told me my wife was just being lazy & too weak. I kept telling my wife to get up, saying that women have 3 or 4 children & need to make themselves strong, but she wouldn't listen & just cried.
I told her to use my mom as an example, but she wouldn't listen. I always see pregnant women who are even running & going about their lives like normal. My wife just wanted to be lazy. My mom was never like that when she was pregnant. The economic situation at home was also getting worse. Sometimes she would go stay with her mother for a few days & return stronger & brighter. When she returned, we would even get to have intimacy, & she would cook, but then she would decide to get lazy on me again. I really suffered a lot.
There was no food, no intimacy, no washing, & no financial contribution to the house. She was practically useless. The room was dirty, all my clothes were dirty, the washroom smelled, the kitchen was empty, & what hurt the most was that there was no dinner. I didn't talk to her for days, & all she did was cry. Yesterday, I returned home & saw her lying in bed, crying. As usual, there was no food. I ignored her, as I had been doing for days, & went to look for kenkey to eat outside.
I ate my food & watched TV. I returned to bed at midnight. She was crying louder & calling me, the same man she said smelled badly, but I just slept. When I woke up this morning, I went to bath & prepared for work. She was finally asleep. I returned from work today to find her still lying in the same way. I had had enough. If she wouldn't bath, at least she should have changed the clothes she had been wearing for 3 days straight, & she had also urinated on the mattress. I was so annoyed. I called her, but she wouldn't wake up.
I hit her, but she wouldn't wake up. I called some neighbors, & we took her to the hospital. The doctor said she had passed about 12 hours earlier. Pls, this is not a joke; I am so annoyed at her now. How can she put such a financial burden on me now? She just refused to try & help herself throughout the pregnancy, & now, when she just had a week to go before due, she did this?
For God's sake, How do I explain to people that my wife dy'ad cuz she was being lazy? Did I just endure 9 whole months for nothing? I don't even know what to say., I'm sincerely in emotional pain for losing my wife but her stubbornness on the other hand is making me feel annoyed, if only she had listened to my advise she'll still be here.. pls, this story should
serve as a lesson to all women to try and be active during pregnancy, I'm sharing this to alert other married women out there to listen and respect their husbands. I'm sad and annoyed at the same time & i don't even know what to feel"
- Anonymous poster
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(Copied from Jeam )
