Marriage Amebo

05/04/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/1C296fUmba/

You took your two legs, came to someone's father's house, carried her away in the name of marriage just to start asking her what she was bringing to the table. You be armed r0bber? Or Did she ever tell you she was looking for a table?

It's your table, make sure you fill it before you go looking for someone's daughter. If you need someone to feed you, just say it. Men were generally created to be providers and if you still think that marriage is 50/50 when it comes to bills, then you're not yet a man. Take some time and groom yourself.

Your woman is your supporter and not your provider and support is voluntary. I know narcissists won't like this and my intention was never for them to like it. Grow up and be a man. You can never share pregnancy 50/50 but you're asking a lady what she's bringing to the table.

Today's men have empty tables, looking for women to fill them while simultaneously bearing children for them. With all due respect bro, you're m@d.

28/11/2024

=WHY I AM GOING TO CHANGE THIS MINDSET IN MY BOYS
I listened to a message a few years ago from Chris Oyakilome in which he tried to bolster the fact that women were given the ability to multitask more than men. Today, I am going to destroy the foundations of this mindset because it is a huge lie.

No one was created with the multi-tasking ability, we all develop it.

The reason it seems like women tend to multi-task more is because of how we have been raised. As a child, I know how many chores I did that my brother was never encouraged to do, and that included chores I felt should have been for the boys, such as washing my parent's cars, ironing my father's three-piece brocades when he developed the love for those evil attires ( if you have ever ironed a brocade material, you will understand why no one should never put the burden of ironing it on another person.

The way our Nigerian daughters are raised from childhood makes it easy for them to do so many things which the boys cannot do, and this is both the fault of society and that of parenting.

If they claim they cannot multi-task, howcome, they are able to multi-task in their resumes and in women. Because that is when their skill of multi-tasking comes alive. You claim you want to engage in polygamy; is that not a type of multi-tasking? In fact, many women cannot cope with more than one man, so if there is anyone who should claim that they can do more multi-tasking, then we should give that up to the men.

I thought about this today because such messages are part of those messages that always look for how to push bad jobs unto women when it is convenient for them; that message gives the impression that there is something wrong with the brain of the man when it comes to the ability to multi-task which is not true. If anyone can prove to me how they can multi-task in their resumes and also with women and are not able to multi-task in other important things in the home, then I can begin to believe that lie.

Yesterday, I was having this chat with Uchdewigs Nwigwe, that this explains why when our men have a little challenge, it feels like they are unable to recover compared to when a woman faces the same challenge, and this is all because they never built that resilience that chores and other hard jobs of life develop in a normal human being. For instance, when I had my first son, I had only 3 months off work. When I got back to my intensive banking job, I would wake up 5 times at night and still wake up an hour before the time I would usually wake up to feed the child, get ready for work and join my husband, who would have had his full dose of sleep at night, and when I shared this topic with my mom ( because I thought that was insane), she was quick to support the fact that it was okay for him to have the full dose of his sleep, which is what I mean that the society's views is part of what destroyed our men. And I asked her - but we are going to the same job right? And there was nothing else left to defend at that point 😂 😆

Now, do you know what that ability to wake up many times has developed in me over the years? If I have a time-bound task to deliver on, will I be late? NEVER! So that is what I mean, and that is why I focus my conversation on women - I know we have the building blocks that should take us to the peak of anything we decide to do, but we have not just realised this yet! We are still occupying the back benches and believing some of these lies. Today, I am no longer using multi tasking abilities to serve tables, I am using that to develop money making abilities. Women that is what you all should be doing, okay. Stop believing these lies that keep us poorer and poorer.

We also need to teach our men how to develop the resilience they need in life through some of these things.

So yesterday, we were discussing about our second son who shies away from his own washing plates after eating, and I told him ( speaking to the child ) that the only way to cure that sickness is for him to wash even more plates in the next couple of months. I also told him about the message of resilience and how chores develop every human being's resilience besides the fact that you also learn how to take care of your environment by yourself and not depend on another person to do that for you because that generation they would meet, I am expecting more female pilots, so they can't be the ones at home serving tables.

NB: Please note: the context of my write-ups is Nigerian because I am Nigerian, and I have noticed these issues in my country of birth.

08/07/2024

We are back!

23/04/2024

My personal message to anyone.

I am happy 😊more persons are waking up or coming to terms with this truth.

Umu menopause savers kwenu!

22/04/2024

If you are a recent graduate of Nigeria, one advice I can give you is this:

Move yourself to a state where you can easily find jobs.

I gave myself this advice many years ago, and I have never regretted it to date.

I grew up in Owerri Imo State, and my first degree was at UNN; by the time I was graduating, I did not need any prophecy to know that if I wanted to get a job, Owerri was out of it ( except I would be opting for a low paying civil service job). Before graduation, I knew the states I would be heading to/ live in, which were : Lagos, Port Harcourt or Abuja. I chose these three cities because those are the cities where you would most likely get a job if you reside in Nigeria. Lagos was my first option anyway.

I personally do not understand graduates who claim they cannot find jobs. One thing is certain, those people have never really understood that looking for a job is a full-time job. They make one application, and they go to sleep and start confessing over that job, I am sorry, life doesn't work that way, okay. To get anything meaningful from life, you must pay for it through time and work ( hard work).

Interestingly, I met Uchdewigs Nwigwe at Univ of Ibadan, where we did our first MSc. One of the things we had in common was that we would meet at the cyber cafe where we were constantly searching for jobs. Once I receive my pocket money from home, I am off to the cyber cafe to make a full month's deposit for all-night browsing, which was cheaper for me then as a student. I don't mind starving, but you see my browsing budget, I don't compromise on it.
Omo, all night browsing for me was to search for jobs in addition to working on my project. While I was working on my thesis, I was at the same time searching for jobs like a mad person until I landed my first job with Diamond Bank just before my Msc defence. Trust me, it didn't come through prayers; I diligently searched for a job like there was no tomorrow. I was tired of calling home for money. You know when they start asking questions like: when is this program ending ? ( you need to advice yourself 😂)

I will show you my process below:
1. I am at the UI gate on Tuesdays and Thursdays afternoons ( in the hot sun after lectures) to join the free newspaper readers association to scan through the Guardian newspapers for jobs. I am there with my notebook, and I am noting the pages.
2. when I get to the hostel ( New PG hall then), I would queue up for the same newspaper so I can take my time to write out the vacancies of interest and the email addresses for the applications
3. By night, I am off to the cyber cafe for my midnight browsing so I can send out those applications. In addition, I was also signed up to all the job sites in Nigeria - then naijahotjobs, nairaland, etc.- so all the jobs immediately come to my email, and I am applying like mad.
4. Madd is my approach to anything I want to achieve, with focused energy ( I don't have any time for play/ friends until I get what I am looking for).

This was my routine. When I tell people that I got my first job through a newspaper advert, they don't believe me to date; they think I have connections in the bank, but I do not. I wrote the exams and passed the test and the interview, which was how I got the job. This was my process, and I believe that this still works. Try it and come back with testimonies.

Please note: I must have sent out well over 1,000 applications before getting my first job, so don't expect the process to be easy. However, it certainly does work, and I have continued to use that process to this day because looking for a job is a full-time job.
( When I am out to job hunt, my minimum daily target is 10 jobs per day, and this is my advice to all my coaching clients)

17/04/2024

Marriage Amebo : why I started it or chose that name.

My inspiration to start marriage Amebo came from the fact that marriage in Nigeria was being treated as a cult activity. Those that are married come out to say things like: it is by God's grace, prayers, God will do this and that, it was the devil, everything that happens is a tug of war between God and devil. Na 🤥 lie o!

The result was that people go into marriages expecting God to do certain things for them, and when they get in, situations overwhelm them and they call it quits when they can no longer cope.

I have been married now for over a decade, this year we will be 13 years, I have not seen one thing God or the devil did here till date. We, the humans, are either the God or devil that makes it work or not work. I will explain with a few scenarios.

In the early years, 😉 (when my husband was still largely a biomass, he is far from this now and knows better), when I was pregnant with my first son, he was busy taking pictures of the pregnancy but didn't think or remember that the child needed preparation. He had the funds to do it, but he was waiting for reminders. Unfortunately, 😕 I found that absolutely ridiculous, so I activated my ignore buttons. I did most of the shopping for the child ( clothes, wears, almost everything), and I was personally irritated by this then because I expected that an adult should know better. You know enough to take pictures of the pregnancy stages, you don't know enough to remember to prepare for the unborn child. If I didn't think about it, it was not done,, and I don't have the patience to baby sit a Nigerian man. So, some of these unethical behaviors caused us plenty frictions then. Imagine that I didn't have the funds to do it? So I would reduce myself to hide my identity PIPO. 😆.

I am expecting one "ode" to come under this post to tell me why I didn't carry him along. So I should tell a full blown adult what they need to know. Before you think 🤔 of sleeping with any woman, you should already know the consequences of that action and be ready.

I am sharing this personal Amebo today because I want women to switch on their thinking caps in relationships. This is why I keep telling you ladies, you don't have any business with any man if you don't have money. When you have your finances , you are never at a man's mercy which is where they always want us to be.

Marriage business is not a God or devil business, it is the people in and around that marriage that are the gods or devils that make it to work or not work.

We have moved on from these stages, (of course, I won't be here typing this if all these irresponsible behaviors are still in place), but as I am the Chief of marriage Amebo, I felt I needed to share this personal Amebo today to keep the ministry going 😁

01/04/2024

My Amebo series: Family Planning gone wrong 😊

Apologies towards the end of the video, I saw this very big dog at the park and the owner mistakenly or intentionally took off the leash. I had to take off biko, as I don't want to share testimony of how I got bitten by a dog and God delivered me this Easter Sunday 😆

31/03/2024

This is what is on my mind 😊 this Easter morning 🌄

So yesterday, I went on a shopping 🛒 spree because of the change in the weather, bought a couple of things for myself including a new pair of 🕶️😎 sunglasses. I have been asking myself since I got back yesterday if I needed all those items I bought. I have two pairs of sun glasses already that I get to wear only few times in the 6 warm months of the year. How many do I really need?? In all sincerity, I don't think I need them, so I may eventually return them today 🤣 and some other things I got.

I have a box of clothes and a few kids stuff back home that I am still giving out its contents because I don't need them.

This is how we keep buying things we don't need. Buying liabilities instead of assets.

Na assets I want to keep buying now, so I will return those items today 😄. Sounds Crazy right?

Does anyone relate with this impulsive buying behavior. How do you deal with yours?

29/03/2024

Avoid any who displays any of these: Entitled, overbloated with ego, won't take advice from a woman, always making wrong decisions, seeking submission.

28/03/2024

I am very 😊😁 happy with these news

The lesson here for women is that you have so much potentials within you.

Don't let anyone called "husband" rob you of your abilities and potentials.

You were not created for a man, but for the world! Stop living for one man!