26/04/2024
Can hardly go a minute thinking back on my life so far without whispering some gratitude to God.
Yes, God. That takes me to the second part of this series. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?
The answer can be found in two folds: God, and my mother- certainly, without doubt, these are the two strongest influencers of my life.
Let me start with God, of course.
I grew up in a conservative Christian family where we never missed morning devotions on weekdays, and since childhood, I kept a complete 100% streak of Sunday Service attendance until 2013 or so when I went for national service.
In that sense, God was ever present in the conversations I heard growing up, in the manner my parents acted, and in the life principles they taught to me. I grew up having a strong fear of God, and still do till now, and I can't live a few days without recognising the Almighty in my affairs.
This is not your regular Christian testimony where people talk about God in glowing terms just because they feel the need to.
I will explain.
I didn't get truly saved from sin during my childhood up until my youth days. I think it was a day in July 2005 that I had my first real encounter of being born again and saved from sin. I felt the much-talked-about joy of salvation for the first time that day, and I knew that I was truly saved. I even recorded that date in my first diary.
But that salvation only lasted for about three days before I had taken something from my mother’s provision shop without her knowledge nor permission. And down I went back into the former habit of sin.
Now, I need to clarify that even in my lowest of lows, when I was the worst level of sinfulness that I have ever been in my life, I never lost the fear of God. I think this fear saved my life eventually as, no matter what I did, how frequent I went into iniquity, or how much I sinned, I could never fully forget God or completely shun the importance of being at peace with the Almighty.
Anyway, after that first real experience of 2005, I would stagger, rise and fall once and again for all the weeks and years that followed until December 2008.
I had gained admission into the University of Benin at this time, and I was set to leave my family for the first time in my life. Now, understand that in my close-knitted family, there was no single instance where I was away from my parents and siblings, ever. Not even for one single day. We were always together, my siblings and I, and my parents too.
So, when I knew that I would have to start living alone far away in Benin City, a land which I already knew was rife with reckless immorality, nobody needed to tell me that I would need God.
I was supposed to resume my University study in January 2009, and in the December retreat of the year 2008, I didn't attend youth camp where my friends' distraction was loud, and the temptation to get carried away by fine church girls was strong.
I dedicated that December Retreat to finding my way back to God, and I attended the adult camp, sitting in the fore front on all the days, and talking frankly with God for the first time in my life.
By the end of that retreat, my life had changed, and my spiritual journey started for real. By the time I resumed UNIBEN, I just continued serving God, and strangely, were sin doth abound aplenty, grace seemed to be much more abundant.
It became easy for me to truly serve God in the University than when I was living in the comfort of my parent's house. And I went on to recorded some of the best streaks of my spiritual history between 2009 and 2012 (the entire period of my universe study).
I didn't know it then, but these years of spiritual journey in the school campus formed the bedrock of everything else I would later go on to achieve. And till date, I still look back at my campus days as some of my best days as pertaining to the things of God.
I ended up as the Head Usher of my fellowship at the end of my second year, and by my third year, I was made a Koinonia Coordinator to add to the office of the Head Usher.
By the time I completed my studies, had my second class upper, and returned home, and in the next years that followed, I had several ups and downs that I became afraid of completely being lost from grace, but I had never been able to escape the consciousness of God.
No matter how far I went into darkness, I was always aware that God's presence is everything to me, and I always found my way back.
So, there it is.
'Why am I like this?' You wonder?
The answer is simple. I have nowhere else to turn to but to God.
Nowadays, when mighty men and great women are blasting prayers onto Heaven and commanding the works of God, I found myself shedding tears of gratitude to Christ for giving his life for someone so broke as me, and zi put my head down and bow to God, whispering words of gratitude with tears and thanking him for not giving up on me.
Now, my life can not exist without God. And I am determined to make sure that I remain absolutely steadfast in His presence.
I'll continue talking about my life influences, especially my loving mother, in the next part.
See you on the third entry of my 'Why I…' series.
Today’s Cookie: ‘When sin seems to overtake you, run to the presence of God and seek refuge. God will never turn you away. Never.’
