02/09/2026
PAYING ATTENTION TO SOME OF THESE DETAILS REALLY MAKES MARRIAGES WORK.
Stop trying to win arguments. Learn to understand your spouse, communicate wisely, and honour God's design for marriage.
EXCERPT 1
Many women have run their husbands up the wall with continuous nagging. Talk and talk and talk—and you are not his mother. You are not the one who is meant to be teaching him everything in life.
Many men are not considerate of their wives. Many men are not kind to their wives. Many men don't carry their wives along, and it is a challenge in our generation.
You can't be on your own, your wife is on her own, and everybody is just doing whatever they want to do, yet you expect to see the kind of results you desire.
“Dwell with your wife according to knowledge.”
Be conscious. Understand her needs. Understand her peculiarities. Understand her. That's the summary.
Sometimes, when a woman is telling you, “Oh, this happened, and that happened, and that happened,” most times, for most women, she simply wants you to listen and say,
“Hey, yeah. Sorry, sorry.”
But an average, normal man, when you give him a problem, wants to solve the problem.
So most men want to say, “Okay, do like this. Do like this.”
Sometimes, the woman is thinking, “You are not even understanding me. What are all these things you are saying I should do?
All I want is for you to say, "Sorry". Don't mind the people looking for your trouble. Just ignore them and move ahead.’”
Dwell with them according to knowledge. Okay, women, are you agreeing with me?
Oh, wow!
Men, can you hear the response?
Sometimes, when a man is telling his wife, “Do like this,” it almost looks as if he is joining her enemies. It's very strange.
I've told you before about how the woman's brain works. You know, the brain in anatomy is like this: there is the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere.
What divides the two sides of the brain is called the corpus callosum. The corpus callosum is between the two hemispheres.
In the man, it is well-defined. In the woman, it is almost not there, so the two sides of the brain are working together at the same time.
Are you understanding what I'm saying?
You tell a woman, “Your bra is showing on the right side.”
Excuse me.
Women, what will you do?
You will touch the right side and immediately touch the second side.
Am I correct?
That is the corpus callosum syndrome. I've given it a new name.
EXCERPT 2
Or you give them TomTom, sir.
That's right. Yes. Go ahead, sir. Next. You ask the question.
“Okay, is my mouth smelling?”
You can never give a man TomTom, a mint, or whatever, and he asks you, “Is my mouth smelling?”
You know what happens? You give him the mint, and he says, “Oh, you gave me mint. Thank you.” He receives it and takes it.
But a woman says, “Why are you giving me the mint? Is my mouth smelling?”
Please, take note of this.
The Bible says to love your wife as you love yourself. If you find a man beating himself, what is that?
Insanity.
Why will you beat your wife?
Or you find a man standing and shouting at himself. That's not normal. So when you are shouting at your wife and maltreating her, you are indirectly maltreating yourself.
Men, love your wives as your own selves.
What's the instruction to the woman?
1 Peter 3:1. What does it say?
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.”
This “conversation” here is not talk. It is not nagging.
The word conversation there talks about composure, character, and behaviour.
Many women have run their husbands up the wall with continuous nagging.
Talk and talk and talk, and you are not his mother. You are not the one who is meant to be teaching him everything in life.
One more thing: it is not at the heat of the problem that you should try to correct it. At such a point, it ends up as a quarrel.
When everywhere is calm, you can take time and say:
“Please, sir, this is what I observe, and this is what I was thinking is a possible way for you to go about it.”
That's a better approach than correcting him in front of his friends: “It shouldn't be like this. You should do it like this.”
Ensure that you train yourself.
Don't be an embarrassment to your husband.
You are a woman in ministry. Let your husband still be your head. You might be the one ministering in the pulpit, but ensure that you remain under submission. Please.
Taught by Dr. Mrs Becky Enenche
Transcript by © Christian Archives Today
