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Home on the solid rock with Modupe Timothy Home and Relationship matter and raising a Godly generation for God

23/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

UNDERSTANDING GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE AND HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES

(HMCG #5) Most women feel that they have no priority in their husbands life because of HIS DISPOSITION TO THEIR PERSONAL NEEDS
sometime she wonders why is he totally oblivious of this fact, and never talks about it. she also wonders if he is pretending not to see or he is deliberately doing it.
Sometimes she'll say "I can't believe he doesn't know what my needs are...... And the men will often say" Do they think we can read minds?," we are no mind readers.... This simply mean you need to communicate. Tell him what you need and DO NOT ASSUME HE KNOWS.
Do not take offence if he doesn't talk about your needs either, this might not be an intentional act to hurt you or that you're not a priority. in his life, And as we have mentioned earlier in (HMCG #2) that men operate in boxes i.e their brain is wired to deal with one issue at a time. A good understanding of this concept is vital to our dealings with one another as married couples

TO AVOID CONFLICT IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATIONS
As a man, If you sense a mood issue, or perceive that your wife is upset for reasons you can't explain, this might just be it!
An incredible gift you can give to her is:
1.to simply ask what might be bothering her and also allow her to speak. Give few moment of your time to brainstorm together ,ask, what you can do to help solve the problem This will go along way to ease her stress
2.Be gentle with your words and Reassuring in your Response.
With your arms wrapped around her say to her "it'll be okay" and even if you're afraid or not even sure yourself that everything will be fine, be rest assured that God got you
3.Go to the Lord in prayer and ask for His help. Hand over the burden of your family needs to Him.
4. Make a conscious effort to give close attention to her personal needs and once in a while talk about them. Then within your ability, do what you can to make her happy
5. Finally, Be open and transparent with your wife in the aspect of finance.

Sometimes minute issues such as this could escalate to a major conflict in marriages this could make a wife question her husband's love for her and cultivate the ground for resentment, bitterness, and unnecessary quarrels which could easily be avoided.

14/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

UNDERSTANDS GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE
AND HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES AS MARRIED COUPLE
(HMCD #4)

HUSBAND, why do you feel she talks too much?
Research has shown that A woman's brain has been developed to express and verbalize. The more reason she wants to talk about everything, she wants to express her feelings at all cost

IN TIMES OF CONFLICT

1) Understand at that moment that she is operating in her natural realm.

2)Ask for the grace to maintain your cool and LISTEN as she expresses her feelings, without cutting her off talking her down, or getting irritated

your wife will feel better just getting it all out because SHE NEEDS TO TALK.

3)understand that she is an emotional being and at that moment she has lots of emotions running through her that she can not control.
If you listen calmly, she will release her emotions and reconnect with you sooner than you think

She will respect and appropriate you more and will do everything she could to avoid anything that could upset you or bring conflict

Finally we enjoy Blissful i marriage when we understand the uniqueness each gender brings to the relationship.

08/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HELPFUL MARRIAGE CONNECTION GUIDELINES (HMCG)

HMCG #3 UNDERSTANDING GENDER DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE

HELPING EACH OTHER WITH OUR DIFFERENCES AS MARRIED COUPLE
(HMCD 't )

WIVES:
Be sensitive to the box your husband is operating in at a particular time.
Be willing to compromise a little bit, and if you're upset already calm down and in your imagination, respectfully enter the room he is in, sit down next to him use your magical charm as a woman to gently bring him into the box were you need his attention this way he'll know, you're asking come into my box, come into my box, he can now switch from the box he is to the box were you want him to be at that moment then you'll gain his attention and have your needs met.

2. identify the box he is in by what he talks about or the question he asks at a particular time. seize the opportunity to bring up relevant issues to the topic of the discussion you have been waiting to discuss with him this way you're helping him by making issues less cumbersome for him to process. By applying this simple wisdom, there will be fewer arguments and misunderstandings in your marriage

04/04/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HMCG #3. .UNDERSTANDING MALE/FEMALE DIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGE

WIVES: Have you ever wondered why your husband forgets your birthday wedding anniversary, looses sight of some aspect of your life while focusing on a specific task? for example, his job?
Do you also wonder why he gets easily irritated, frustrated and touchy when you bring up multiple issues with him at the same time? well the answer is not far fetched.
Studies have shown that a.man's brain process one task at a time. it is generally said that men operate in boxes.simply put they operate on one side of the brain at a time. therefore. in other to perform another task they have to switch over to the other hemisphere of the brain. As a result of this most women in marriage relationship have the impression that their husband do not give them enough attention and they feel neglected

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT IT IS NOT A DELIBERATE ACT ON HIS PART TO HURT YOU HE IS NATURALLY WIRED THAT WAY
Few more examples:
Are you a newly wedded couple and you're worried about the sudden decrease in the quality of time he spends with you and the attention you get from him while he was courting you or how special he makes you feel back then. Well am glad to tell you that that hasn't change a bit. he only moved on from the box he was at that time having completed the task of getting married to you to the next task of establishing a home with you and that is to work and provide you with what will make you comfortable. so rather than nagging empathize and appreciate him

2. As a wife, have you ever ask him for something you needed and he never talked about it? you probably can't tell
he might have forgotten, Do not take offense, find an appropriate time to remind him.

Finally understanding our gender differences. how we are naturally programmed by God will go a long way to enhance peace, love, and stability in marriage relationships.

31/03/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HMCG #2

WIFE:
MAKE HIM FEEL NEEDED
Men are motivated when they feel needed. A man's brain is geared to solve problems. your husband wants to be your Superman solve all of your problems make every decision for you and be your hero. It is not a deliberate decision to infringe on your right, that is his reality

HUSBAND: LISTEN TO HER
Rather than trying to fix your wife's problem make a CONSCIOUS effort to PATIENTLY LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WANTS She may not want you to fix a problem she may JUST want you to LISTEN and understand how she feels.

26/03/2023

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

HELPFUL MARRIAGE CONNECTION GUIDELINES

HMCG #1. COMPLIMENT / APPRECIATION

A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or not competent enough, though he may never express it.

Food fills a man's stomach, but a compliment from the woman he loves fills his soul with confidence. Prof. Kristine Koetje-Balder

13/09/2022

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. -Ephesians 4:2

09/04/2022

ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT IN GOD'S DELICACY "THE WOMAN "( part 2)
A Woman is a helper to God.
He need her help to raise godly offspring a generation of those who will love, fear and serve God wholeheartedly . As a woman or a mother you are the First Destiny Helper of your children when you connect them to God and help them build a cordial relationship with Him.

16/03/2022

Who is this creature called woman
What is the mystery surrounding her creation that made her a controversial being. How did God mould a single rib He took from Adam into a whole human being....

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