06/04/2025
Copied from Vera
Emphasis of what women see in marriage 🥹😫 I lost my shock absorber I had to scream 😫
Reading all the posts concerning the pregnant woman who lost her life, my heart skips because I have been in a similar situation. I was pregnant for good 9months, common diaper, diaper cost, tissue paper ehn ehn horseband no gree buy talk less of ready to pay hospital bills.
He was given almost half a million naira when I was 3months gone, wether the money was in naira or dollar, I didn't smell it. When I was 7 months gone, he got another 300k for free, he still said he will buy later.
I had to use government hospital for antennal, my Pcv was very low (29)my blood pressure was so high, I was referred to a general hospital, they said I might have complications which they cannot handle over there. Guy man said I should beg them and tell them I don't want to go
When it's time for scan, he will say I should tell them I'll do it later. Thank God I have my own money, cos the embarrassment they give other women in my presence eh, I'd just burst into tears.
When my edd came and I started having contractions, he will tell me to hold on, hold it, inhale it .. LoL. When I complain he doesn't drop money for food , no light, no fan, no bed, no fruit, I must not crave, I go collect beatings, He told me to pack few of my things and go to my mother's house and go and give birth there that he does not have any money.
After 2 days getting to my mother's house, I went into labor..we couldn't go to the general hospital I was using since they said they cannot handle it. We walked into a private hospital in the middle of the night, we called guy man more than 100 missed calls, he didn't pick. The hospital rejected since I wasn't doing antennal there, the nurses said they don't do such, what if I'm dying already that they don't want to get into trouble.
My mother started crying, pleading and the doctor came , he told the nurses to attend to me Asap. They asked for delivery stuffs, nothing. We had no single baby item. I lied to them that my husband was bringing it (somebody that was not even picking calls) the nurses embarrassed and in$ulted the life out of me, I was in labor, In pains ...they said they will come attend to me when my husband has brought the items...they left me and were doing other things, laughing.
I nearly kpai make we no lie, I gave my mom my ATM card to get few things with the little I have left cos that pregnancy almost took my life due to suffering and domestic violence. I couldn't do much and I do everything with that little i make. She went to call guy man, he came with stories that he was charging somewhere BLA BLA BLA...that he doesn't even have one thousand naira that if I have money I should bring so that he can go and get baby things.
That word drained the remaining strength in me. I said I don't have, he said he will go and meet some of his friends. He said I should stop crying and be smart that if the doctors see the way I'm doing like a fowl, they will tell me to do CS ooo. He dragged my hands and told me to start running to and fro as exercise. I screamed in pa!!ns. An old nurse scolded him to leave my hands and let me be. And he left.
My mom came with few items and to cut the long story short I delivered a bouncing baby boy. He came back with one baby cloth, and other things that weren't up to 10. He said he borrowed money to buy them. I paid back the money with the money someone gifted my baby.
Fast forward to after few days. You guessed right, no naming ceremony but that's not the issue. I was worried about my blood level , because I lost a lot of blood while giving birth because they said my baby's breath was faint. No provision. He will drop 200 naira and said I should buy pap and he will leave. I bought few provision and hid, I bought baby formula also and kept from him.
He came home on evening and asked why I haven't washed the dirty plates. I told him I was feeling weak, my started raising his voice as usual ready to give me some beatings but my mom was there and she answered that I just gave birth and I should be resting that she's going to wash the plated herself. He told my mom that his sister also gave birth and doesn't keep dirty plates, that's she's spoiling me. He said his sister even gave birth through CS but I didn't so why can't I wash plates and he stormed out. When he came back in the night my mom has left, this be@st gave me the b€€ating of my life that day while bleeding. He gave me stern warnings that my mother must not step her usele$$ foot in his house again because shes enabling me and teaching me wrong things (not to wash plates after 3 days of giving birth) called her so many names, cussed her that she doesn't want me to stay in my marriage while I was groaning in serious pains.
The rest is story for another day cos it's soooooo long.
Leave that abus!!ve marriage/relationship today.
