31/07/2024
Money without exposure will always make you look like the poorest person in the room.
When I was in high school, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a fancy and rustic restaurant.
The dress code was dinner party.
I knew I had to buy a dress but I had no idea what type of dress to buy.
I had never been to a dinner party before.
My dad had never been to a dinner party.
And by then, my mother had moved out of our family house to be with her current partner.
Therefore, it was left to me and my poor knowledge of a middle-class lifestyle to figure out what type of dress to buy and, in the end, I bought the wrong dress.
My dress was made of chiffon, had thin straps, and was red with black flowers.
It was ideal for a brunch or a pizzeria, but definitely for not that kind of place: a trattoria.
Mind you, my family was not poor by any means.
My father owned the triplex we lived in and he co-owned a second house with my mother. However, he didn’t go further than primary school and only knew a life of labour and little leisure.
Even when he would eventually leave behind his humble background and, later on, the working-class one, he never made effort to know more than the life his parents taught him.
So when I came around decades after he had settled into his new life, he still had no idea what it meant to dress up in a pair of tailored trousers and shirt for a dinner party; therefore, he couldn’t offer me any advice even I was invited to one.
And I doubt my mother would have known better. She had never been about that life either.
So, in the end, even though I wasn’t the poorest student in my class by any means, I ended up looking like it at that birthday party, thus reinforcing the idea that some of my right-wing classmates already had of me; all because I didn’t wear the right dress.
Today, I know what a dinner dress looks like and I can shop for every type of occasion. And that’s because I made the decision to know more than I grew up with.
Unlike my parents, I promised that I would strive to make sure my carriage and comportment matched my socio-economic class.
In fact, I would make sure they exceeded it.
People have referred to me as condescending and a snob but I’m not bothered in the tiniest bit. I always fit right with the right people.
In the end, it’s all about defying expectations and never looking out of place. Ever.
I know how to use different types of cutlery.
I can express myself in a fancy vocabulary.
I can adjust my tone and mannerism to fit the setting.
And most importantly, I can communicate with my face without uttering a single word (as you move higher in the world, the less you say, the more significant you are. Powerless people talk, powerful people do).
To conclude, you can live in a shack for all I care, but make sure you do not behave like your environment: rough, unrefined, and badly raised.
From a distance, people better off than you might look down on you because of your socio-economic background but once you step into that room and open your mouth, they should have nothing but admiration for you.
Practice for the life that you believe you deserve and be sure that your humble background or that of your parents’ never define you.
Good night.
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