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Plato Media, Sagamu (2025)

04/01/2025

Are you in a safe place?

Chukwuneta-Oby

Most of us do not realise that our disposition can either heal, improve, or damage others.

It is time for sober reflection, and the starting point is an honest answer to this question: am I in a safe place?

Are you aware that countless relationships and marriages are troubled, not because those involved are bad, but because someone is struggling to heal from damage or trauma inflicted by someone who should have treated them better?

You are not safe for anyone when the version of you they are receiving does not put them in a good place mentally.

Everyone has struggles, often more mental than physical, but one conscious effort we should all make is to avoid being the reason others feel diminished or traumatised.

If people’s experiences with you do not elevate their mental well-being, they should at least not traumatise them.

How does one explain the cruelty of roping someone into a marriage that negates your real s*xuality, thereby exposing them to a lifetime of treating s*xually transmitted infections, while failing to recognise that their presence in your life is merely a social smokescreen?

I know a good number of people who are successful by every standard yet still struggle with self-esteem issues due to the maltreatment and neglect they suffered at the hands of foster parents.

Many young people have resorted to wayward lifestyles and self-harm practices in a bid to numb the pain of s*xual abuse inflicted by those who should have protected them.

What about the level of toxicity that people facelessly dump on others online through trolling?

Are you aware that assassinating the character of anyone is not so different from committing physical murder?

You are not a safe place when your actions or words leave a spouse grappling with so much anguish and regret for days.

We are not expected to be perfect, but what makes anyone unsafe is their inability to see their own problems and their unwillingness to become better.

What I have realised about people whom my spirit deems safe is that their aura is healing to my emotions.

Safe people bring us closer to God through their human nature.

Safe people don’t come into a setting and introduce disunity or bad blood.

Their energy is not condescending, and they certainly do not seek to use people for their selfish ends.

Safe people give you a sense of belonging and do not gamble with the emotions of others.

Please note that it takes becoming a safe person to appreciate those who are safe for us. Ultimately, we attract what we are.

My point is that a safe person also works on themselves!

Don’t overwhelm people with your neediness and unrealistic expectations.

You are a safe place if you can afford to put yourself in another person’s shoes. And this is what I consider to be the ultimate test of how safe anyone is.

If empathy is lacking in their disposition, their space is most unsafe for your mental health.

Please consider unforgiveness an attribute of unsafe persons, as well as aggressiveness in their actions and words.

Do not let people’s decency, goodness, vulnerability, or innocence count against them in your hands. Otherwise, life will make you pay in one way or another.

Resist the temptation to handle your pain by inflicting pain on others. This will never bring satisfaction to you; it will only perpetuate a cycle of pain.

Propositions for s*xual entanglements are everywhere now. People are no longer being encouraged to bring the best version of themselves to the table unless s*x is also on offer.

I hope you know that you are not a safe person if your space reduces people to your s*xual pleasure when you can become a source of social and moral support to them!

Life is very challenging, and it has become essential that we make efforts to become a safe space for those who cross our paths.

“Be careful not to enter another’s life if you cannot be a gift,” says a quote that I once came across.

It’s said that people are the closest we get to God on earth. So, when we are good to people, we are actually holy.

Please bear in mind that many people who will cross your path this year are some of God’s gifts to you. So, make a conscious decision to treat them like a gift from God.

“May it not be in my hands that a soul will become damaged” should be everyone’s daily prayer!

God may not always forgive it when we know better but choose to keep doing otherwise.

02/01/2025

I didn’t compose ‘Odun nlo sopin’ – Deborah Fasoyin

Gospel music legend, Mrs Deborah Fasoyin, renowned for the iconic song Odun lo sopin, has revealed that she is not the composer of the timeless track.

In an interview shared online by FM 365 and reported by Church Times Nigeria on Thursday, Fasoyin disclosed that the song predates her choir’s popular 1979 recording.

“I must confess to you, till tomorrow, we don’t know the composer of the song. We only added two verses to it,” Fasoyin stated.

“There were many CAC churches in Ibadan. In those days, whenever they had revival programmes towards the end of the year, you’d hear people sing the song Odun lo sopin (meaning ‘the year is coming to an end’). That chorus belongs to CAC. We only added two verses.”

Speaking in Yoruba during the interview, Fasoyin emphasised that the song was already widely known before her choir formally recorded it.

“We didn’t go to any mountain to pray to get the song. It was everywhere before we recorded it,” she clarified.

In a 2020 interview with Sunday Scoop, the crooner who led the Christ Apostolic Church’s Good Women Choir, Ibadan, spoke on the song translation to other Nigerian languages and other things.

Meanwhile, online commentators supported Fasoyin’s account, with some recalling that Odun lo sopin had been sung as far back as 1975.

Despite her repeated public acknowledgements over the years, many have continued to associate Fasoyin with the composition of the song.

Her honesty, however, has drawn widespread praise, with fans commending her transparency.

Odun lo sopin, popularised by Fasoyin and her choir, remains a staple in end-of-year gatherings, evoking prayers for divine protection, guidance, and provision as the year draws to a close.

The agency reports that the song’s enduring relevance and spiritual resonance have cemented its place in the hearts of many, making it a cherished tradition that transcends generations.

28/12/2024

We are playing with our health

Chukwuneta-Oby

I heard a very sad story recently. I had gone to a salon to paint my nails, but it was closed, so I walked to the nearest one.

Directly opposite was a provision shop. As my nails were being painted, my mind kept drifting to the shop because of the man displaying his wares.

There was something awkward about the way he went about everything. He struggled with his oversized trousers and seemed unsure about where to place the items, constantly removing and replacing them.

Out of curiosity, I asked, “Is he new here?”

The lady looked up and said, “They’ve been around for a while. It’s just that his wife used to handle the shop. The man had another job elsewhere.”

“I see. It seems his wife didn’t come to the shop today?” I replied.

“The woman is dead,” she said and began telling me the story.

According to her, the woman was seven months pregnant with their fourth child and had gone for her antenatal check-up.

After examining her, the doctor advised that she be admitted for bed rest. But the woman promised to observe the rest at home so she could keep an eye on her young children as well. The doctor agreed and let her go.

A day or two later, she set out with her prayer group to the mountain for prayers. That was where she collapsed.

She was rushed to the hospital, but by the time they arrived, she had already slipped into a coma. The doctors operated to deliver the baby, but sadly, the baby didn’t survive. Both mother and child died on the same day.

Further details, according to the lady: Nobody knew how the man would survive his wife’s death, and the focus shifted to him rather than the children she left behind.

“Very beautiful and peaceful,” were the words with which she described the woman, who was in her 30s.

She also mentioned that the news of her passing threw the entire neighbourhood into mourning because she had been such a lovely person.

Sometimes, I think there’s something “too casual” about the way our doctors communicate the need for “bed rest,” which makes the average Nigerian argue their way out of it, often to their detriment.

Maybe, in an effort to avoid causing panic, doctors don’t always disclose the danger they see before recommending bed rest. But I believe it’s high time doctors started making people fully aware of the risks involved when bed rest instructions are ignored.

Dear Nigerians, please comply when you’re told you need bed rest. It’s not just about lying down and staring at the hospital ceiling. If it has come to that point, understand that you could be mere hours or days away from the end if care is not taken. You need to be alive and well to handle whatever it is that may be waiting for you.

I don’t know why we think God can only be found in specific places. We limit God in our minds, and it must be frustrating to Him. The Bible refers to God as “omnipresent,” meaning He is everywhere.

This lady’s story opened my eyes to what I now see as a miracle that happened a few years ago at a teaching hospital. After my vitals were taken, the doctor exclaimed that he was tempted to admit me for bed rest because my blood pressure was “disturbingly high.”

He asked my age again and remarked that I was too young for my blood pressure to be that high. I was placed on blood pressure medication immediately, and I went straight home to lie down.

It’s truly a miracle that many of us haven’t dropped dead, considering the “danger zone” our health has been in—zones we either don’t acknowledge or are in denial about.

At least this lady received a warning before making her own decision.

My elder sister wasn’t that lucky in 1994. She was also seven months pregnant with her first baby. She stopped by the hospital for a doctor’s appointment on her way from work. The doctor immediately placed her on bed rest, and she obeyed.

Unfortunately, within hours, she slipped into a coma. She had to be operated on to try and save the baby, but the baby—a girl—who was placed in an incubator, died five hours after the mother passed away.

That was how my family lost a strong pillar. That was how I lost my favourite human being in this world.

My sister was sunshine, always brightening the lives of those around her.

15/11/2024

Super Eagles goalkeeper, Stanley Nwabali, has lost his father.

01/11/2024

Price of Dangote’s fuel higher than other sources, we have to pity Nigerians – IPMAN

The Independent Petroleum Marketers Association of Nigeria, IPMAN, on Friday said that the price of fuel from Dangote Refinery, as of last week, was higher than the price of the product from other sources.

IPMAN said members must go where the price is lower and where they get profit, adding that they have to pity Nigerians.

Yakubu Suleiman, National Assistant Secretary of IPMAN, stated this on Friday while fielding questions on Arise Television’s Morning Show programme.

Suleiman argued that prices of petroleum products are determined by international pricing, insisting that Dangote is supposed to be disclosing the amount he’s going to sell his product.

He said: “Prices are determined by international pricing. Dangote is supposed to be saying like every day, ‘This is the price I’m going to sell this product’.

“But he cannot be able to do that unless he (Dangote) engages the stakeholders. And you cannot just say okay, we must only buy in his own depot.

“IPMAN cannot just sit down and say ‘We will tell our members, all of you go to Dangote Refinery and buy your product and load’. We cannot just do that. This is a deregulated system.

We have to source where products are much cheaper. Then we would inform our members to go and load product in any depot that the product is cheaper.

“If Dangote has a product and is selling N1000, let’s assume, and there are other places that are selling N900. We can’t just say because for the sake we are doing business with Dangote, ‘Okay go and do it’. It’s not profitable to us. We must go where the price is lower; where we get profit. That is it.”

Continuing, the IPMAN scribe added, “We are in a deregulated economy but Dangote is like trying to monopolize the whole issue. Fine. Let us know if there is monopoly in the whole system. But we believe that it’s now deregulation.

“Like last week, Dangote’s price is higher than other places. Because if you can go by the price, the international price, crude has already started coming down.

“If I could remember, as of last week, he gave N995 per litre, and you have to bring your cargo and load. How much will you pay the cargo? How much will be the other charges to your depot? And how much will go to the depot? And we expect independent marketers to go and sell it. Can we go and sell? Look at we have to pity Nigerians.”

26/10/2024

Some married people have this problem

Chukwuneta-Oby

At the ceremony for a higher office of a townsman some years ago, he recalled how arduous the journey to that point had been, from the betrayals from his contemporaries to the blatant oppression and favouritism from some of his superiors.

Then came the moment for recognising those that gave him a hand up the ladder and he mentioned two persons: a bishop and one other fellow. I can’t remember the specific roles he claimed the man played in his life.

I kept nodding while he talked, hoping he was saving the best for last. The next thing I knew, the man handed over the microphone to the organisers of the event and headed back to the front seat where he and his wife were seated.

There was one more person that I expected him to acknowledge but he failed to do so. In fact, I expected him to make that acknowledgement immediately after he gave God His glory.

Yes, I expected him to acknowledge the immense support of his wife in his life. Those of us who know the couple very well are aware that that elevation couldn’t have happened if the wife didn’t sow enough seeds, financial, goodwill, etc in the places that mattered.

We also know how that woman was killing herself with work to ensure he went back to school to develop himself. Not forgetting that as far as that household is concerned, she shouldered 95% of their living expenses.

Yet, that man could exit the podium without a public ‘’thank you’’ to his woman, at least. It’s probably not a big deal to her. And he didn’t see it as such. But, when someone conveniently fails to acknowledge those they should acknowledge where they should do so, I see ingratitude speaking.

A lot of men have this problem. If your self-image can come in the way of acknowledging another’s input in your success story, you are an ungrateful person. A grateful person does not care where and when they say their “thank you’’ to the deserving.

In fact, you will occasionally have to contend with restraining them from ‘embarrassing you’. There are people who can remove the clothes on your body with their effusive “thank you’’ behind closed doors but before others, they go mute on your contribution to their success story.

I have also realised that such people cannot do for anybody one-tenth of what another has done for them. As long as you are not acknowledging another’s effort in your life where it should be mentioned, you are an ungrateful person.

Seize opportunities to extol people’s goodness. They need to hear it as often as possible. It waters their souls. It uproots seeds of discouragement in them. It motivates them to keep being good. Stop letting your ego get in the way of everything, especially when it comes to showing gratitude to those who deserve it.

There is also something ungrateful about someone who reads unsettling marriage stories on social media and then goes home to behave rashly to their spouse who has probably not given them reasons to doubt their commitment to the marriage.

I don’t know how else to advise women especially to limit their exposure to toxic spaces on social media. The fact that someone knows their way with grammar does not mean that what they are saying is wholesome. You could be reading someone whose energy drips of mental poison due to an unpleasant experience.

Understand that their story is not your story and may never be. And allow them to dump unwholesome energy on your marriage. Sometimes, I think the average woman does not know how to appreciate peace.

If there’s not yet drama, fight and rancour, we feel lost. Some women will even tell you that it’s the fights that make them enjoy their marriage. Yet, that energy is wearing the men out. It is the peace you give to a spouse that will make them grow fond of you.

It is actually a damaged person who feels there’s nothing to enjoy in a relationship that doesn’t record constant fights. Let us be guided, please.

If you want to spice up your marriage, there are countless wholesome ways to do it and even your mental health will thank you for it.

You don’t want to look back one day, only to realise and start regretting the countless missed opportunities of intimacy that toxicity cost you.

As stubborn as love is, it does not cope in settings that don’t nourish it.

It is important to train our minds to savour goodness. Anything less means that you need help.

Find more wholesome endeavours to channel your excess energy into.

A married person’s energy should be too dear to find an outlet in toxicity.

05/10/2024

25-Year-Old Man Stabs Father To Death In Lagos

The Police Command in Lagos State says it has detained a 25-year-old man, Chibunnma Chimelie, who allegedly stabbed his 68-year-old father to death.

The Command’s Spokesperson, SP Benjamin Hundeyin, confirmed this to the News Agency of Nigeria on Friday in Lagos.

He said that the incident happened on Thursday at 10:00 p.m. in the Isolo area of the state.

Hundeyin said that the suspect’s brother reported the incident to Aswani Police Divisional Station.

“The complainant said that he received a phone call from his father’s neighbour, that his father was having a misunderstanding with the suspect, who lives with his father in the same house.

“He rushed down to his father’s house, where he met his lifeless body in a pool of blood,” he said.

Hundeyin said that the police stormed the scene and apprehended the suspect.

“A team of investigators visited the scene and recovered a knife with blood stains lying near the body.

“Photographs were taken and the victim was rushed to General Hospital, Isolo, where he was confirmed dead by the Doctor.

“The co**se has been deposited at General Hospital Mortuary, Isolo. The suspect confessed to the crime,” Hundeyin said.

He said investigation is ongoing to unravel the circumstances surrounding the incident.

05/10/2024

Parents are the real therapy

Chukwuneta-Oby

There’s a group of young men that come to the estate for menial jobs.

I call them the ‘helping hands’ because they help with whatever errands including gardening, car-washing, fetching water, gas and fuel runs for a token.

I became very fond of one of them in particular due to his quiet and easy-going mien. His name is Peter. I can’t remember a day that I didn’t meet Peter smiling, yet he doesn’t talk much.

About a year ago, I began to notice his absence, especially when I ran into his colleagues. My initial thought was that he’d found a more stable job but when I asked the one that I felt was the closest to him, I received disturbing news about Peter.

He told me that Peter was grappling with ill health and when he was taken to the hospital, it was discovered that he had AIDS. So, he had to leave town to be with his parents.

I learnt that Peter’s condition is stable now…although his parents have refused him leaving their sight. When it comes to our emotions, our parents are a therapy like no other.

Their energy is most healing to our emotions. But, it’s something that you can only experience when you begin to relate with them as their child. And not their big-man son or big-girl/thick-madam daughter.

Some of us have become so arrogant that we only relate to our parents as our economic saviour and lifeline. Some people can never apologise when they have a misunderstanding with their parents; if mummy and daddy can not come and beg them, the malice continues.

How about those who are still nursing resentments towards their parents?

No matter what your parents have done to you, what you cannot afford to do is hate them.

For as long as that resentment towards your parents is in your heart, there is a void that moves through life with you. Not even marriage and children can fill it.

Some people handle that void by inordinate associations, external validation-seeking and living a life of no boundaries. Others take it out on their spouse and in-laws.

Especially when the spouse comes from a close-knit family, it aggravates their demons. And they want to do everything to break that bond or the spouse’s name will be ‘sorry’ in their own home.

Back to Peter’s story. Peter was married to one lady that never gave him peace. She was sleeping around a lot and eventually abandoned him.

What I cannot say is how much Peter supported his parents when his health was good and he was making money. Yet, when ‘the worst of life’ happened, he became a cross that his parents diligently carried.

What he has achieved in his life was not a concern to them but that he simply stays alive for them. Whenever I was not doing well, emotionally or physically, Mama’s space was the only place that I longed to be. Her presence alone spoke strength into me.

I resent people who treat their parents poorly. And I resent their spouses more. I see such spouses as enablers, especially when they don’t joke with their folks.

Nobody who is a good person will look the other way when you treat your parents poorly. Your attitude towards your parents can bruise their relationship with you.

Some years back, a friend’s elder sister became afflicted with an ailment that seemed to defy medical interventions. Almost every hospital visited gave up after trying.

So, the husband resorted to taking her from one prayer house to another and expectedly – all manner of visions were seen. Everybody, from her siblings, to their mother and late father was fingered as being behind her ordeals.

Each ‘prayer’ house fingered a different culprit in her family. It was just one pastor who asked what her relationship with her mother was.

She opened up to him. And this is the story.

Shortly after she married her big-man husband, she was told by a pastor that her mother was a witch, so she severed contact with her mother and siblings.

She had three children but her mother had neither set eyes on any of them nor stepped foot into her house. The pastor’s verdict was that she should go and apologise to her mother.

Their mother was widowed in her prime and denied herself so much to send her, who was the first child, to school at the expense of her other children.

She did as the pastor advised only that she did not live long to savour her new-found closeness to the woman because she became too ill afterwards.

And it was the same mother, whom she labelled a witch, that took the burdens of nursing her until she breathed her last. She died in her mother’s arms.

01/10/2024

Candidates’ll henceforth pay N50,000 to reprint certificates – NECO

28/09/2024

How my Edo poly lecturer left me with twin pregnancy to ‘japa’

A Nigerian woman has come forward with an account of how her boyfriend, a lecturer at Auchi Polytechnic in Edo State, abandoned her with a twin pregnancy after securing his visa to the UK.

The yet-to-be-identified woman, who shared her story on Saturday via X under the handle , revealed the painful details of her ordeal.

In a series of posts, she recounted how she met the lecturer in mid-2019 and fell deeply in love, believing they had a future together.

“He told me about his plans to travel outside the country where his elder brother was,” she said, adding that when they met, he expressed his dissatisfaction with his lecturing job at Auchi Polytechnic, saying he was seeking greener pastures abroad.

By 2022, the lecturer informed her that his visa had been approved, and while she was initially thrilled for him, the joy quickly turned to sorrow when she discovered she was pregnant.

“When I told him about the pregnancy, he said he wouldn’t advise me to keep it because he was traveling and wasn’t ready to be a father,” she recounted.

Despite the potential risks to her life, he pushed her to terminate the pregnancy, even suggesting the use of pills.

“I just told him I wasn’t ready to lose my life,” she added.

Unknown to her at the time, she was carrying twins. Throughout her difficult pregnancy, the lecturer completely cut off contact.

“This guy never called, even once, or replied to my WhatsApp messages,” she said, adding that her nine-month journey was filled with sickness, and she was frequently hospitalised.

The twins were eventually born through a difficult Caesarean section, with one of the babies placed on oxygen due to complications. Even after sharing the news of the birth, the father remained unresponsive.

“I did a video with my phone and sent it on WhatsApp to Kola, still he didn’t reply,” she said.

The financial strain soon became overwhelming as her family struggled to pay the hospital bills.

“My mum was running helter-skelter just to source funds,” she said, with the final bill amounting to 233,000 Naira.

After being discharged, she continued to care for the children alone.

“I named my children myself, did everything myself; he didn’t care or show interest,” she lamented.

Reaching out to his family also proved fruitless, as his brother in Nigeria blocked her after promising to speak with him.

The situation worsened when she travelled to Ondo State to confront her father’s family. She borrowed money from a loan app to make the journey with her mother and children.

Upon arrival, the lecturer’s brother intercepted them at the gate of Adeyemi College of Education and took them elsewhere to avoid creating a scene. When they eventually spoke with the father, he refused to accept responsibility.

“He insulted me and my family to the extent I started crying,” she said, devastated by the verbal abuse.

She blocked his number and finally decided to share her story publicly, appealing for help.

“Please if you know his family in Ondo kindly help me reach out to them. The economy is hard, feeding, clothing, and the kids need to go to school,” she said.

She added, “I am not interested in marrying Kola or having any relationship with him… I just want my kids taken care of.”

17/09/2024

I listened to a radio programme, and the presenter tell's a story of a woman who his 2- son's stays abroad, which her husband had another wife that's childless.

In one of the day's one of her son called from oversea and pleaded that he's sorry, that he can't able to call home and send money, due to nature of his work.

And send 2-million naira to his mother, he told her to use the money to buy anything.

He told his mom that's he's now in money for he's doing a lucrative job and instructed his mother to gave his stepmother 20,000 naira out the 2-million he sent .

Without his mom knowing her husband wife is right beside her.

And she later gave her 10,000 naira.

This really angered the woman but she kept quiet.

Not quite long her son loses his senses, he was sent home from abroad. And they don't even know the where about of her second son.

It was when they began to move from one place to another that she was told, it was her husband wife that wicked her because of the 20000 she refused to gave her.

She spent all 2-million her son sent on him and all the money in his account.

But the guy remain mentally unstable. And the said woman is in her 90's.

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