Sir Yommie Films

18/09/2025

This classic Nigerian joke never gets old! 😂 Who else remembers this?

Post Text:

So, Akpors came home one night and his wife threw her arms around his neck.

Wife: "My husband! I am a month overdue. It's like I'm pregnant. The doctor gave me a test today, but until we are sure, we no go tell anybody."

The next day, Akpors' wife received a telephone call from PHCN because they had not paid their bill.

PHCN Guy: "Am I speaking to Mr. Akpors?"

Wife:"Na him wife be this".

PHCN Guy:"You're a month overdue, shey una know?"

Wife:"How u take know?" (stammers.)

PHCN Guy:"Madam, it's in our files".

Wife:She shouts, "How it take enter una file?"

PHCN Guy:"Yes, we have a system of finding out who's overdue."

Wife:"GOD, this is too much! Which kind tin be dis?"

PHCN Guy:"Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you that you are overdue."

Wife:"No wahala. Make I tell my husband when he come back."

That night, she tells Akpors: "Dem know say I dey overdue for PHCN o!"

The next day, Akpors rushed to the PHCN office.

Akpors: "Wetin dey happen? I hear say una get file say my wife dey overdue. It concern una?" he says angrily.

Lady at Reception: "Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at PHCN. "It's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

Akpors:"PAY una for wetin? If I no pay nko?"

Lady:"Well, in that case sir, we have no option but to cut yours off."

Akpors:"If u cut am, wetin my wife go do?"

Lady:"I don't know. I guess she would have to use a candle!!!"

Akpors fainted!

04/09/2025

So this guy on the bus was selling an iPhone 14 Pro Max. He said his mom was in the hospital and needed 75k for surgery. My friend Ola’s eyes immediately turned into naira signs.

The hunger to buy was physically choking him.

He haggled the "grieving" son down to 50k. I checked the phone, it worked, but the screen saver was the seller’s photo. Major stolen property vibes.

I warned Ola. He said, "No problem, I'll resell it to a Yahoo boy before the owner finishes crying."

He paid. The man sprinted away from the hospital direction. Red flag.

Under a tree, we admired the phone. It died. Then it resurrected with a message: "Tracking... Tracking... Tracking..."

My soul left my body. I tried to hand the hot potato to Ola.

"Bro, collect your problem!"

He refused. "Hold am make e finish tracking!"

"Track who?!"

"Maybe network!"

I shoved it into his pocket and walked away. Suddenly, Ola screamed and shot past me like a rocket.

I joined the race instinctively. "Why are you running?!" I yelled.

"THE PHONE SAY 'LOCATION FOUND'!" he screamed back.

I then saw it, he was still holding the phone! I made a sharp turn into a bush. Thorns were better than whatever was coming.

I looked back. Ola was right behind me, the phone glowing in his hand.

"WHY YOU DEY FOLLOW ME?!"

"YOU KNOW THE WAY TO MY HOUSE! AND THE DOT IS ON ME!!"

The screen flashed one last message: "Sending Location to Owner. Have a nice day!"



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09/08/2025

*My People, Wahala Dey Burst for My Face-Me-I-Face-You Compound Oo!* 😂🔥

Una know say I no be amebo, but today’s gist sweet die! *Sir Yommie* don finally show him hand, and e don turn our compound to *Warri Zone*! 🤣

As e dey hot so…

- *Grace* don dey challenge *Disgrace*… like WWE for my backyard. 😭
- *Happiness* sef no happy again—na confusion full im mind. 🤦‍♂️
- *Peace* don lose im peace of mind… e don cast! 😂
- *Amaka and Emeka* dey fight like Tom and Jerry… but na *Sir Yommie* be the real villain wey cause am! 😈

Now, how e start?

This afternoon, as I dey chop my Indomie, I see one fine man enter Aunty Amaka’s room… *Hmmn!* 🤔

Now, *Brother Emeka* (Amaka’s boyfriend) wey dey always dash me money, so I no fit hide this kain gist from am. I **sprint like Usain Bolt** go call am! 🏃‍♂️💨

*Me:* “Brother Emeka! Man don enter Aunty Amaka room o! Abeg go check!”*

*Emeka (without asking questions):* “Which man?!” 🔥

Next thing I hear… *BOOM!* 🍾💥

*Brother Emeka don use bottle scatter one man head!* 🤯

*Me (whispering):* “Omo… this one don pass information o.” 😳

*Wetin happen next?*

*THE MAN NA AUNTY AMAKA PAPA OOO!* 😱😱😱

*Me (running away):* “I no send o! I just give info, na Emeka no ask questions before acting!” 🚶‍♂️💨

Now, *Sir Yommie* don enter the matter full-time. Him dey reign supreme like say na Nollywood movie! 😂

*Amaka dey cry…*
*Emeka dey beg…*
*Papa Amaka dey look for police…*
*And me? I dey my corner, sipping my Fanta, adding fuel to the fire!* 🔥🍊

*MATA STILL DEY RISE O!** I go update una later… but for now, *make una pray for me before dem use the remaining bottle settle me!* 🙏😂

Please don't forget to *LIKE* my *PAGE, COMMENT and REACT.*

06/08/2025

"Sugar Mummy Don Play Me Like PS5!"

There I was, chilling like a villain, minding my business this afternoon when my phone *dinged!*
Alert!
₦100,000.00 from SGM.

My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets!
"Wait… is this a dream? Did my Sugar Mummy just bless me for no reason?"

I called her FAST FAST before she could change her mind.
Me: "Babe… you sent me 100k?!"
Her (sweet like honey): "Yes na, for fuel. Baby boy, enjoy yourself."

OMO!
My chest inflated like a balloon!
I started hailing her like she was the Queen of Sheba.
"See why I call her my Sugar Mummy? This woman na angel!"

But then…
5 minutes later.
My phone rings again.
Her voice, still sweet: "Babe, check your WhatsApp."

My mind started racing!
"Ah! Something big must be happening tonight! Maybe she booked us a trip to Dubai! Or she’s sending me another surprise!"

I rushed to WhatsApp like my life depended on it…
Only to see:
🔹 "Milo don finish, buy 2 packs."
🔹 "Buy 16 litres of fuel on your way back."
🔹 "My love, please get goat meat shawarma from that Organic Crafter lady in New Haven."

JUST LIKE THAT… MY 100K EVAPORATED!

HOW???
You use *one hand* to dash me money for fuel,
Then use the other hand to collect everything back?!
This one na pure "Onyinye wete isi bia welu isi" (Gift wey carry head come, go still carry head go). Woman no dull at all! 😭😂

Women eh… why??? 😭
First, they give you hope… then they CRUSH IT!
**Sugar Mummy don turn me to personal shopper!*

Moral of the story:
If your Sugar Mummy sends you money… **SPEND IT FAST BEFORE SHE CHANGES HER MIND!💸😂

03/08/2025

😂😂😂 My friend bought this in Lagos traffic and DEVOURED it before even checking the label! 🤦‍♂️🍽️

Moral of the story?* **ALWAYS read what’s on the sachet before eating! 😆😆😆

18/06/2025

PUT YOUR CAR KEYS BESIDE YOUR BED AT NIGHT.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car.

The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this.

It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation.

Test it.

It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain.

It works if you park in your driveway or garage.

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar or ra**st won't stick around.

After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough, the criminal won't want that.

And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot.

The alarm can work the same way there also.

This is something that should really be shared with everyone.

Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone.

This is a really good idea.

You could leave the spare key fob or remote button next to your bed permanently.

Definitely, this is something to pass on to your family and friends as a security tip.

05/02/2025

Warning: Be Careful What You Share Online!

Three professional robbers entered a house, surprising the lady who lived there. But what happened next was even more astonishing.

"We don't want to disrupt your home or harm you," they said. "So, we'll sit here on the sofa. Please bring us any cash and jewelry you have."

The lady hesitantly complied, handing over the valuables. The leader of the robbers then asked, "Where's the diamond ring your husband gave you on your wedding anniversary?"

She remained silent but eventually brought the ring. Next, they asked for the watch her sister had sent from Dubai. Tears welled up in her eyes as she handed over the cherished gift.

After taking the valuables, the robbers asked to drink Nescafé instant coffee. Once they'd finished, they requested the leftover pineapple cake from the previous day.

When they'd taken everything, the woman asked, "How did you know about all these things in our house?"

The leader adjusted his mask and replied, "We're your Facebook friends, madam. We've been reading your posts and checking your status."

The moral of the story: be cautious about what you share online. What people don't know can't be used against you!

Dedicated to all those who overshare on social media!

03/10/2024

My special thanks goes to my family, friends, fans, and all of you out there. Who wished me well on my birthday and showed me luv God bless u all...

06/12/2022

You just have to be OBIdient in this life

22/09/2022

17/08/2022

Testing my babalawo skillz

17/08/2022

Why I go toast u last week and u dey reply me today 😂😂😂