26/07/2025
One of my neighbors recounted his experience in marriage to me and I could not help but marvel at his story. He was just about six months into marriage with his lovely wife when life took a turn for the worse.
The company he worked for downsized and a lot of people were relieved of their duties including himself .
No warning. No final project. Just an email and a handshake. Goodbye. End of discussion.
At first, he told himself it was just a temporary situation and that with a little time he would get something else to do.
He started waking up early, dressing up, carrying his file around, going from Lagos to Ibadan, Port Harcourt even Abuja — chasing interviews like air. He submitted countless CVs. He did a follow-up on many of them and prayed night and day, yet nothing happened.
Meanwhile, his dear wife Nkechi got an appointment with one of the top banks.
One offer turned into a full-time job.
One branch became multiple transfers and things were looking up for her.
By virtue of her becoming gainfully employed, she automatically became the breadwinner.
Then my neighbor became confused.
This wasn't what he bargained for - a woman feeding him. He felt hopeless and helpless.
He would watch as his wife returned home from work every evening — tired, still helping with the kids, cooking, cleaning, doing homework, then staying up late to prep for work the next day.
And himself? Hewas slowly falling into depression. Shame was fast becoming his blanket. He started doubting his worth as a man - and this happens to many people especially men who find themselves in this sticky situation.
Then one night, after he and his wife had put the kids to bed, he called her to sit with him to have a serious discussion on the way forward for the family.
He said to his wife,
"Babe," avoiding her eyes.
"From tomorrow, I’ll take over everything. Bathing the kids. School runs. Cooking. Cleaning. Even your laundry. Don’t lift a finger unless it’s your job at the bank. I need you to focus… and I need to feel useful again in this house."
"I just can't bear seeing you take up all the financial responsibilities while I sit idle."
She didn’t speak immediately.
She stood up.
Walked to the bedroom.
Came back… with her ATM card.
"Here," his wife said, putting the Atm card in his hand.
"Take over the account. Whatever I need, I’ll collect from you. You’re still the head of this home — job or no job."
He didn't’t cry in front of her.
He held his emotion even though it felt as if he was about to explode.
But he wept like a baby in the bathroom that night.
That was the beginning of a new chapter - for him and his household.
This my neighbor told me that he became a full-time, stay-at-home husband and father. He made school lunch, tied ribbons, cleaned toilets, and ironed his wife's shirts.
*A rare story indeed ✅,I guess,it didn't happen now 🤗, because where marriages are now is really scary 🤔
He literally managed the house like a project manager. And his wife on her part never let him feel small. Was never condescending, didn't remind him of his responsibilities or mock him.
His wife was a jewel of inestimable value.
She respected him in public.
She praised him in front of the kids.
She made sure he dressed better than her - always.
She would say;
"Let them respect you, not pity you. You’re not less of a man. You’re more."
Twelve years passed.
Twelve.
I mean I had clean my tingle my ears to ensure I was hearing well when he mentioned the years to me
Twelve whole years gone just like that in this condition.
And then one day… something shifted.
A business idea he had been nursing quietly started growing. He took the bold step of registering it as a company. Built a team.
Doors opened. Clients came. The clouds smiled at me. The universe had remembered him for a blessing. The forces of nature had contrived to bring him favour.
He summoned courage and finally told his wife,
"Babe… resign. Come and work with me."
*The question is 🤔 what will you do if you find yourself in this situation actually 🤗,as the husband or wife...
