01/07/2026
Where Real Men's Talk Really Began
People often ask how Real Men's Talk started. The honest answer is, it started long before the platform had a name. It started with my father.
On July 1st, 2000, I buried him. He had passed in May, right in the middle of a long strike at the University of Ibadan, where I was an undergraduate at the time. School was already paused. Grief didn't wait for it to resume.
I went back to lectures months later, not knowing how I'd finish my degree without him. Somehow, I found a way. But that's not really the story I want to tell today.
I want to tell you about the conversations.
My father and I talked about everything, religion, relationships, family, politics, marriage, leadership. Long, rich, unhurried conversations. He held history in his head like a living archive, dates and events at the ready. I used to wish I had a mind like his.
What stayed with me even more than his knowledge was his character in conversation. He was never judgmental. Every person got a fair hearing, young or old, man or woman, it didn't matter. He never talked anyone down, never made anyone feel small for their opinion. He listened first. Then, patiently, he'd help you see it from another side.
That is the blueprint for every "real talk" I've ever tried to create since.
Because of him, I've never been intimidated in a room, no matter who's in it. He taught me without ever saying it directly, that everyone deserves to be seen as human first.
It took me more than ten years before it truly settled that he was gone. For a long time, it just felt like he was still around, still one conversation away.
So when people ask what Real Men's Talk is about, it's this. It's rooms where every voice matters. It's patience instead of judgment. It's the willingness to sit, listen, and help each other see further.
It started with my father. Everything since has just been continuing what he began.
Debbie Oluwatoyin Oguns
