Kemdy Mbagwu

06/05/2025

05/05/2025

Get off your entitlement mentality; everyone has got their own share of problems!

A few weeks ago, the thought of a friend came to mind just when I was about to go to bed. It was already past 9 pm, and considering it was a weekday, I felt it was too late to call, but the thought persisted, so I decided to give her a call anyway just to say hi and ask after the kids.

The phone rang for a while and just when I thought she wasn't going to pick up I heard her voice on the other end

Her: Hello...
Ahhh... This one you remembered me today, after all this time.
Hmmmm, hope all is well.
Me: hey dear, how you dey? Been a while!
Her: I dey oooo... I dey where you leave me na. I even born you no call. It's well oooo... I just say make I stay my lane abeg...

At this point, I had had enough so I hung up the call and went to sleep.

It may sound rude or inconsiderate of me to have hung up on her like that but why did I hang up?

If it was me a few years ago, I would have tried to explain my reasons for not reaching out, apologised and waited for her to forgive my lack of concern, but over the past few years, I have learnt to stop enabling people, especially those close to me.

You see, we have developed this sense of entitlement that has become a norm in society. Everybody now thinks life is about them. Our friends and family think it's our responsibility to check up on them, come to their rescue at every given time, and treat them with great respect and all. They forget that life is a two-way street. However hard they think their life is, yours may be worse, and so everyone deserves the same amount of consideration no matter where they are.

Many of us have succumbed to the idea that it's our job to reach out. We've been made to think that these relationships are more important to us than it is to them, so we either keep pruning the relationship, or they leave us to our fate.

Growing up, my mum always told me about the importance of treating people the way I want to be treated hence my desire to be a loyal friend and companion to the people in my life however my dad used to say, "Do not assume a position in people's life where they've not placed you". So I have learnt to remove myself from relationships when I am not getting back an equal amount of energy I am bringing into the relationship.

So when my friend responded to my call with complaints about my lack of attention to her needs, I decided to hang up because the phone rings both ways.

She has no idea what my life is like; she's unaware of the demons I am fighting, how lonely my life is or how much I need a shoulder to lay my head on. All she could think of was how I had abandoned her...

Our sense of entitlement as humans is so over the edge, and we keep enabling it by allowing people to walk all over us while manipulating us emotionally.

The painful part is that many of us don't even realise that we are been manipulated by the very people we care about.

To build a meaningful relationship, your energy needs to be reciprocated. When you realise you've been the one giving and hardly getting anything in return, know that you've been enabling the other person and they've come to the conclusion that you need them more than they need you.

Kemdy Mbagwu ❤️
Entrepreneur | Realtor | Digital Creator

04/05/2025

Be intentional about making memories.

Those beautiful moments you intentionally created with the people in your life, places you visited, or even the times you spent in a calm serene atmosphere, will help get you through the difficult days as you journey through life.

This was something that kept bringing us back after we left home.

My dad had this habit of taking us on evening walks when we were younger. We would sit by the pavement some days when the weather was cool and the road was not so busy, and he would tell us stories about his childhood experiences.

How he left home, his journey from the Eastern part of Nigeria to the Northern parts, his relationship with his dad and siblings... We would relive those times with him over and over again.

He told us stories of his early years in marriage, his regrets and the things he's grateful for. His dreams for the future and plans for the days ahead.

We were not only his children, we were part of his life. His past, his present and his future.

When he left us, during those dark days, it was those memories that kept us going. Those memories kept him alive and still do after all these years.

Whenever I and my siblings come together, we spend time reminiscing about the good old days we spent with our dad. We cry, we laugh and we hope that one day our children will share such wonderful memories of us when we are nothing but memories that renew their hope.

As we journey through life, there are days when we wouldn't feel like getting out of bed, days when it feels like the walls are closing in on us. There will always be those days when we wonder about the purpose of life... On days like this, those beautiful moments we've lived through envelop us, rocking us back and forth between times until our hope is renewed.

Kemdy Mbagwu ❤️
Entrepreneur | Realtor | Digital Creator

14/03/2025

As broken as you may feel right now... 💔

The feeling you have when you are about to lose something you didn't know meant so much to you. When someone you feel will always be there, is about to walk out the door of your heart because they've reached their wit's end, and you realize how much you had taken them for granted. How you didn't really pay attention to the things they said. How you were never really there when they needed you, you were involved but never really present.

The feeling you have when you think you can still fight for what you had but all they really want to say is goodbye. They've come to the end of the road, they are done fighting for your affection, they've accepted you are never going to be that one person who says a thousand words just by looking into their eyes, you will never be that person who holds them the way they want to be held, who kisses them lightly on lips but causes their body to shudder, you are never going to be that person who holds their hands and make them feel safe, you had the chance but you kept your distance.

They've been where you are now, they've cried their eyes out in the dark, prayed for you to see their pain, their longing for you. They've opened their arms wide, waiting for you to come into their embrace, but you've simply walked past them every single time.

You are not the soul mate they longed for, not the knight in shining armour they dreamt of, not the whisper in the wind they hoped would calm their aching hearts; you were just another passerby in their life's journey.

Things could have been different if you had listened, if you had looked longer and deeper, if you had thought through every action and if you had been selfless every once in a while. You were not a bad person but you weren't good to them either.

Two hearts that once beat as one can learn to beat differently. This is what happened in your case; you focused on your heart, so they learned to focus on theirs.

As broken as you may feel right now, they had been broken a thousand times over and learned to pick up their broken pieces, nurtured and put themselves back together. They are not who they used to be, there's still so much to be done, but they are learning to live one day at a time.

So you see... They've been where you are right now, just that you were never attentive, so you could not see the pain they lived through.

💕Kemdy Mbagwu

12/03/2025

There are lessons we learn from life over time, which leads us to believe we've figured out certain aspects of life and the reason for our existence then, we turn a new curve and realize that there's more to learn.

I used to think that the bumps I stumbled upon as I journeyed through life were the enemy attempting to hold me back from attaining the heights I was destined for.

My life used to be about confronting the enemy spiritually, physically and emotionally in an attempt to overcome and emerge the winner of this race I created unconsciously.

When all my efforts weren't yielding the desired result, I decided to spend time understanding my woes and what I could do to change things for the better.

It didn't take me time to realize how my choices had impacted my life over time. How I had unconsciously laid the foundations of my life on unstable grounds with the hope that one day, the resources I had put into building my foundation would cause the ground underneath to stabilize.

What a fool's dream this has been.

It's been years of trying to figure things out, years of attempting to fix something that was already broken even before it came into existence, years of hoping and dreaming that by some miracle my life would be whole and I would truly, deeply be happy.

Now, I've learned the true meaning of new beginnings and why we all need second chances, if not more, in life.

As I navigate this life, am going to take a leap of faith when it comes to certain things and people and hope it works for the best. Am going to trust my process irrespective of what the world thinks and am going to be more intentional about my dreams, hopes and aspirations.

💕Kemdy Mbagwu

26/01/2025

Building a new habit is one of the most challenging pathways to travel on. It's far easier to talk about the things you want to do, the changes you want to make and the system you are putting in place to make that happen, but actually doing it... That's a different story.

I have been struggling with my new morning routine for weeks now, with the holiday, travelling and new environment that I've been in, it's been so difficult taking control of my mornings so I've just gone with the flow however; how I feel at the end of each day reminds me of why I made the decision to build this new habit.

My goal is to feel good at the end of each day. That feeling that I had a productive day, that I took actionable steps towards achieving the goals I had set for myself, that feeling that I took good care of myself throughout the day in terms of what I ate, drank and most of the activities I was engaged in.

Learning about how you are the only one who can set yourself up for success, am determined to build a system that can help me stay motivated on this life's transformation journey am on. So with all of the obstacles I am encountering daily, my vision of the life that I want to live is one of the things that keep me on track, irrespective of how many times I've stepped to the sidelines.

This is me encouraging you to keep going no matter how many times you stumble.

Happy Sunday 🥰
♥️Kemdy

12/12/2024

If you are looking to transform your life in the coming year, this is a good place to start. Big changes start with the small stuff which helps keep you focused.

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If you are looking to transform your life in the coming year, this is a good place to start. Big changes start with the small stuff which helps keep you focu...

22/10/2024

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22/10/2024

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Our first confirmed football team is the IAUE (Ignatius Ajuru University of Education) Minders Ladies.

They are all set to give us a show
Come ready and don't come alone.

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