Djamesglory

20/08/2024

The Three Stages of Marriage That Have Taught Me a Lesson

**First Stage of Marriage:**
The first stage of marriage includes the dating period and lasts until the arrival of the firstborn.
This is a period where everything is always good, romantic, and full of happiness.

This was exactly the case with me. Even when we weren't together, we could talk on the phone throughout the night. When we were together, it was always full of fun and love.
When we got married, it was still the same—honeymoon phase, going out on dates, just to name a few. Life was so smooth because we had no responsibilities apart from enjoying [ourselves].

Little did I know that the second stage of marriage would be totally different.

**Second Stage of Marriage:**
I must confess that this second stage of marriage is the most difficult period in marriage because so many things happen. This period usually starts from the day the wife gets pregnant and lasts for 10 years and highest 15 years for some couples.

These 10 years are never easy.
* Most of the divorces in marriage usually occur during this 10-year interval.
* Responsibility comes in as a result of children, fighting for a better future, just to name a few.

One bitter truth is that this is the period most men start cheating on their wives.
* They start seeing their wives as the source of their difficult life.
Some will do the worst by insulting them as witches, spirits of bad luck, failing to understand that they are already a parent who instead needs more concentration because of the added responsibility. They think it's because of their wives that things have become difficult.

Instead of trying to save money and take care of his wife and children, he will prefer to start cheating because the wife is not as beautiful as before, forgetting that life has taken a new turn.

This was the case with me when I was tempted. My wife cried like a baby, but God be the glory, it didn't take me long to choose the right path and save my marriage.

This 10-year interval is so delicate that it usually separates couples if care is not taken. One truth is that women are more powerful during this period than men. Most marriages that have crossed this period are mostly by the grace of the woman for standing strong.

This is more reason why I always find it difficult to advise a lady to leave because of cheating, especially during this difficult period. So many men are always frustrated, but due to the steadfastness of their wives, they usually end up gaining their husbands back from the hands of side chicks. Especially men who took the decision ignorantly.

This is a period where if you are not careful as a man you will regret it for the rest of your life because of cheating.

This period needs a lot of concentration to keep your wife's beauty, raise your kids well, and have a good start to your future. Once you start cheating or continue with that single-man lifestyle of going to clubs and coming back at your will, it might seriously damage your future and the family.

**The Last Stage of Marriage:**
This includes dating and marriage itself, where most couples have gone through a period of at least 20 years together.
This is one of the most beautiful moments of marriage, until death finally separates you.
For couples who did well in the second stage of marriage, you can notice them through their big houses and cars, traveling from one place to another, visiting their children.
For those who were frustrated, you can also notice them through single mothers and single fathers. Sometimes they are still struggling to catch up, but they are already too late because of age.

For those who have ears will hear and understand.

19/08/2024

I carry my husband's phone anytime, I know the password to his phones, email and even his facebook account,

I can access his Whatsapp anytime any day,

Infact he gave me his ATM pin while we were still in courtship.

Meanwhile, my husband knows all my passwords too.

Why am I writing this?

All these married men and women that get so agitated and paranoid anytime their spouses carry their phone,

What really is the problem? If you fall in this category, hope all is well with you? 🤷‍♀️

The funniest of them are those set of persons who want to maintain privacy in their marriage.

You hear them make statements like, “My wife/husband cannot know my ATM pin oo, I don’t trust him/her to that extent”,

Wait oo, you don’t trust your husband/wife?

Sir/ma, you entered into marriage with your full chest with a person you don’t trust? 🤦🏻‍♀️

For another set, you will hear them say,

“How will my wife/husband go through my phone, what’s he/she looking for inside there?

“My phone is my privacy”.

Aunty shift, which yeye privacy is that one?🙄

If your privacy is so important to you, why didn't you remain single?

You must understand that the day you accepted to marry that person, that day did you lost all forms of privacy,

For any marriage to work, transparency is key.

Transparency builds TRUST,

Transparency builds ONENESS,

Transparency builds UNITY,

Transparency blocks channels the enemy would have passed through to invade your home,

It makes your partner understand that you trust them so much that you can entrust something as private as your ATM pin to them.

Why will you keep your phone's password from your spouse if truly your conscience is free?

Why do you excuse yourself whenever you are with your partner and you want o make a call?

You will be hiding in your own house like a thief because only God knows who you are on the phone with 😩

If your privacy is so important to you, then why did you choose to settle down, you should have just remained like Apostle Paul and died single,

Privacy ko, privacy ni 🙄

Baba you need to be lashed fifty strokes of the kane for choosing privacy over peace,

Yes, your hiding your phone every now and then from your partner is stealing your spouse's peace of mind,

causing unnecessary suspiciousness here and there.

You need to change, you really need to change

Any conversation with anyone your spouse shouldn't be aware of should never have happened in the first place no matter who the person is,

Those chats and messages your spouse should never read shouldn't even exist in your phone at all 🤷‍♀️

Be transparent with your partner, stop hiding things from them.

know this and know the true definition of peace.

God's Word says, "Adam and Eve were both naked and were not ashamed",

Nakedness here doesn't only implies when you both are not wearing clothes like when you bathing together or having some sort of sexual intimacy,

Nakedness in marriage also implies being open and transparent as much as possible with your partner,

not getting to hide anything from them,

not keeping any information that pertains to you from them.

Just remain single if YOUR PRIVACY is so precious to you, marriage is not for you biko. Make you no go use privacy frustrate person pikin in the name of marriage 🤦🏻‍♀️

Having said all, transparency is key to a lasting marriage. Be transparent with your partner, that's what it means to be ONE 🫂 with them.

It is with love that I write ✍️ this to you.

I hope you take heed 🙏🏻

21/07/2024

This is to all men that makes their wives to feel uncomfortable at home..... LISTEN TO THIS👇

13/07/2024

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

1. WORKING SO HARD AT YOUR JOB/BUSINESS BUT NOT IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Men, your company, your career, and your business are growing and flourishing because you lead them; your marriage will grow and flourish when you lead it and dedicate time to it.

2. THINKING THAT FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN IS NOT CHEATING
You may not physically sleep with other women, but emotionally cheating is also unfaithfulness. Receiving n**e images and having phone intimacy with other women is also cheating. Talking suggestively and attracting temptations is also cheating. If you are a flirt, flirt with your wife. If you claim your wife is too rigid, treat her well, and she will respond to your kinky ways. She also wants intimate pleasure and to feel wanted.

3. BEING GENEROUS OUTSIDE AND STINGY AT HOME
Don't be the husband who quickly says yes when other people ask for help, for your time and your money, but stingy to your wife and child/children. Your family comes first. Don't go to harambees contributing large sums, helping out people because you want to have a good public image yet to your family you deprive and deny.

4. THINKING THAT SHOWING LOVE IS AN UNMANLY THING
When you were dating and courting, you were romantic and thoughtful; but now that you are married, you wrongly think showing love is beneath you. If you truly love your wife, tell her, she needs to hear it. Warm her heart. Romance her. Date your wife. Her being a wife doesn't mean she doesn't need to feel loved. Real men show their love. God is a loving God. If God doesn't find showing love as something beneath Him, who are you to shun showing affection yet you are created in the image of God?

5. THROWING MONEY AND GIFTS AT PROBLEMS
When your wife and kids get concerned about you spending much time away from home, when you are told you are not doing what you are supposed to; change, improve. Don't throw money and gifts at them to silence them. They want your time and presence, not lifeless things.

6. ADMIRING OTHER WOMEN MORE THAN YOUR WIFE
If you find other women better looking than your wife, work on your wife. Nourish her with compliments, buy her clothes you think she'd look good in, take her shopping, pamper her, love her up till she glows. Go to the gym with her. Jog with her.

7. WASTING YOUR FAMILY MONEY ON MEANINGLESS THINGS
Stop wasting your family money on alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, st*****rs, and addictions. Invest that money in your family, the future of your child/children. Even if you are a super wealthy man, you can find other ways to have fun that contributes positively to your family life. You can channel your money into more honorable things like supporting your parents, your siblings, the less fortunate, and the needs of society. You don't have to be unfaithful and reckless just because you have lots of money.

8. JUSTIFYING PO*******HY
Po*******hy is lusting after other women on videos and images. This is actually cheating because you are desiring other women, not your wife. This also lays the ground for future acts of unfaithfulness. Because you see no harm in desiring strange women on videos and pictures, soon you will see no harm in desiring women in the streets, at work, in your neighborhood; then you might actually sleep with another woman.

9. THINKING THAT BEING THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY MEANS BEING A DICTATOR
This is what makes some husbands beat up their wives, abuse them, sit on them, and hinder their progress. Your wife is not your junior but your partner, she is one with you. Hurting her is hurting you. She is not your competitor, celebrate her progress. Being head doesn't mean your word is law or that you treat your wife as a slave. In fact, because you are the head you should serve more, give more and humble yourself to make sure your wife and child/children are doing well.

10. IGNORING YOUR WIFE'S ADVICE
Don't hide things from your wife. Engage her in making family decisions, you are stronger when you move as a team. Your wife has sharp instincts and she will help you navigate through life's issues.

11. BEING TOO PROUD TO SAY SORRY OR TO LISTEN
You are capable of doing wrong, and when you do wrong, admit it. Problems don't get solved when you deny them. You are not perfect. Learn to say sorry to your wife and child/children. By refusing to say sorry, you are showing your wife you are insensitive and that will hurt her and damage the mood at home. Sometimes all a woman needs is for you to say, "I am sorry." Be open to learning and being corrected. Far too many men are ruining their homes because of pride.

12. ABANDONING YOUR SPIRITUAL ROLE
You are to lead your family, even spiritually. Don't neglect this role and leave it for your wife alone. Your wife needs your prayers, she needs you to walk with her in God. Your child/children need to see you living for God, praying, and teaching them about God. You say you want a Godly household, well, be an actively Godly husband and father.

13. TAKING YOUR JOB TITLE HOME
Whether you are a C.E.O, Manager, Director, or an award-winning professional, once you get home or are with your wife and family, put away your title. Play your role as husband and father. Don't treat your wife and children like subordinates, lording over them. The home is a place of love, not a place for orders, restrictions, pressure, and intimidation.

14. HIDING YOUR FAILURES
In case things don't go well, you get fired, you get retrenched, or you make a bad decision; share it with your wife, don't hide it trying to project a fake image of 'everything is alright'. Your wife is there for you, she will walk with you. Share with her your weaknesses and failures. Love will always win.

15. WORRYING MORE ABOUT WHAT YOUR MALE FRIENDS OR PARENTS THINK THAN PLEASING YOUR FAMILY
Don't let your friends or parents run your marriage. Don't let your friends negatively influence you by mocking you that you are being sat on by your wife or wrongly advise you to be tough on your wife just to prove you are man enough. A true friend is a friend to your marriage. Your parents might mean well but might drive a wedge between you and your wife. You left your father and mother to be one with your wife. Defend your home.

16. BEING INTIMATELY SELFISH
Your wife has intimate needs too. Don't just seek your own gratification and then sleep or leave her unsatisfied. Fulfill her physically. Kiss her, touch her, embrace her, massage her, stimulate her, explore her body, evoke her passion, make her tremble, give her every sensual pleasure. She is devoted to you, and no other can fulfill this role like you can. Make sure she's fulfilled, and she'll reciprocate. Your responsibility is to arouse her and satisfy her intimately. A passionately engaged wife is a content wife and fosters a harmonious home. Make love to her.

17. LETTING HER BE THE PARENT ALONE
When she gets pregnant, don't abandon her. Walk with her as she carries your child. After birth, be proactive in teaching, mentoring, and guiding your child/children. Stop the nonsense of when the child does wrong, the child is your wife's; when the child does well, you are a proud father.

18. FAILING TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN FOR YOUR SUCCESSION
When you start a business, involve your child/children. Let your wife know of your properties, assets, and ventures. Prepare your children's future. Write a will. Share information, don't keep things in the dark. Too much unnecessary confusion plagues families because of lack of preparation in your marriage.

22/06/2024

YOU OR YOUR OFFICE…

You refers to who you truly are, rich, poor, brilliant, dull, principle, loose, big or small.

Know that whoever you are, you are always more important than whatever office you are occupying.

Your office is a place that feeds from who you are. Your office is worthless if you don’t have anything to give to it.

You must make sure people place more value on who you are than the office you occupy. The office you occupy today might just be temporary but you are always who you are.

When people rally around you because you are in one exalted office, ask yourself, will they find me valuable if I leave this office tomorrow.?

The truth is that they value your office and not you, they respect your office and not you. Don’t get fooled by their smiles, lips loyalty and titles they call you.

Make yourself more valuable than your office. Ensure the office is not important without you as the common mistake has been that we make the office very important and forget to upgrade our value.

Those who come because of your value wont ask for anything but will be around to study how you actually run the office and making it progress and successful. They will replicate your ideas in their own little way and become successful like you.

Those who place more value in the office will come with demands and once you say NO, you may not see them again or they will feel you are not fit for the position hence they will draw and untimely exit plan for.

MAKE THE OFFICE, DON’T BE MADE BY THE OFFICE

Djamesglory.

21/06/2024

CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK

: All the Difference in The World

Every Sunday morning I take a light jog around a park near my home. There’s a lake located in one corner of the park. Each time I jog by this lake, I see the same elderly woman sitting at the water’s edge with a small metal cage sitting beside her.

This past Sunday my curiosity got the best of me, so I stopped jogging and walked over to her. As I got closer, I realized that the metal cage was in fact a small trap. There were three turtles, unharmed, slowly walking around the base of the trap. She had a fourth turtle in her lap that she was carefully scrubbing with a spongy brush.

Hello,” I said. “I see you here every Sunday morning. If you don’t mind my nosiness, I’d love to know what you’re doing with these turtles.”
She smiled. “I’m cleaning off their shells,” she replied. “Anything on a turtle’s shell, like algae or scum, reduces the turtle’s ability to absorb heat and impedes its ability to swim. It can also corrode and weaken the shell over time.”

Wow! That’s really nice of you!” I exclaimed.
She went on: “I spend a couple of hours each Sunday morning, relaxing by this lake and helping these little guys out. It’s my own strange way of making a difference.”
“But don’t most freshwater turtles live their whole lives with algae and scum hanging from their shells?” I asked.

“Yep, sadly, they do,” she replied.
I scratched my head. “Well then, don’t you think your time could be better spent? I mean, I think your efforts are kind and all, but there are fresh water turtles living in lakes all around the world. And 99% of these turtles don’t have kind people like you to help them clean off their shells. So, no offense… but how exactly are your localized efforts here truly making a difference?”

The woman giggled aloud. She then looked down at the turtle in her lap, scrubbed off the last piece of algae from its shell, and said, “Sweetie, if this little guy could talk, he’d tell you I just made all the difference in the world.”

The moral: You can change the world – maybe not all at once, but one person, one animal, and one good deed at a time. Wake up every morning and pretend like what you do makes a difference. It does. (Read 29 Gifts.)

Practical Tips for Productive Living

20/06/2024

THE TRUTH…….

WHY THEY GO TO CHURCH

They just bought a beautiful dress and where else can it be shown off, they will make sure they go late when everyone is sited, then they walk majestically with the distraction of high heels, big ear rings like chandelier and gum chewed very loudly…..

They have to be classy and where else can they maintain their classy style but in church where they can look down on those who give small offerings and contributions, where they will see people who trek or come in non luxury cars, where they can speak eloquent English and make even the man of God look inferior. Where they feel highly placed above everyone.

They have seen that there is no other place to beg or skim for money, where they request for their school fees, house rent etc.. as though they gave the church to keep for them. Where they will lie all manner of lies to get a cent out of the Pastor.

They come around to get contracts from church projects. They will make sure the money is spent through them alone. They pick offense if they are not given the job and even change to another church.

They want to be church leaders, and will get to any lent to ensure they climb that ladder. Once they are not chosen for a position they will cause chaos and try to mislead the congregation.

To be continued……

17/06/2024

Control your 5 M

13/05/2024

EVERYDAY IS NOW MOTHERS DAY.
wake up everyday to say happy mothers to your wife. Learn from me and have peace.

04/05/2024

Check comments for the 5 things.

15/04/2024

When you are scared to trend.