caitruthlawrence

12/07/2025

Between chorus convention and the iLead conference, I’ve travelled a fair bit in the last few months so I wanted to illustrate exactly what goes into packing for a week away when you have multiple disabilities.

When I was able-bodied, my packing was a lot easier and more compact. I used to meticulously pack the clothes and toiletries I’d need into a small vintage suitcase and it all felt very aesthetic. Now, I have to accommodate for my mobility needs, chronic pain and illnesses, medical devices, and sensory sensitivities.

I have managed to refine what I pack to a fairly streamlined list as shown in these illustrations, but packing light just isn’t possible with multiple disabilities. I need to take my wheelchair, power assist and first aid tools for any needed repairs. I need all my medications and backup doses in case of delays. I have to cover off tools to keep cool, stay extra hydrated, self-soothe, treat pain and potential injuries, care for my catheter and any complications that might arise, mobility aids to keep me moving and to access environments my wheelchair can’t go, and when all that is covered, I also pack the same clothes, tech, and toiletries that anybody would.

This is my refined list but what does yours look like? From person to person it’s going to look different for different needs and devices. How much of yours overlaps with mine or is there anything on my list you think you will start to pack in future?



Image Descriptions:
1. Yellow slide with hand drawn illustrations of a manual wheelchair, duffel bag, and soft-shell suitcase, with the title “what I pack to travel for a week”
2. Green slide with hand drawn illustrations of a TiLite ZRA wheelchair, screwdriver and socket sets, an AirTag, bag hooks, duct tape, a SmartDrive and chargers, knee strap, and tyre pump, with the title “wheelchair”
3. Pink slide with hand drawn illustrations of an expanding fan, set of keys, hand cream, headphones, wallet, drink bottle, power bank, coffee bag, electrolyte sachets, coffee sachets, travel cup, backup medicine, masks, sunglasses, lip balm, ear plugs, fidget toy, chargers cables, and shopping tote, with the title “handbag”
4. Lime green slide with hand drawn illustrations of tubing fixators, tubie pads, medication in cases, masks, flip flow valves, drainage bags, sterile water, K tape, topical antihistamine, instant heat packs, syringes, electrolyte sachets, topical pain creams, THCXCBD tinture, acupressure pen, and compression socks, with the title “medical”
5. Orange slide with hand drawn illustrations of an iPhone, phone monitor, iPad, lapel microphones, phone camera lenses, selfie stick, multi plug, chargers, flexible tripod, smart watch, ear buds, and a Bluetooth speaker, with the title “TECH”
6. Purple slide with hand drawn illustrations of a cervical collar, slide board, folding crutches, off road Rollator, and AFO braces, with the title “mobility aids”
7. Peach coloured slide with hand drawn illustrations of underwear, socks, a binder, a tie, a swimsuit, dress boots, jeans, T-shirts, dress shirts, fun formal wear, a beanie, a scarf, a cap, sneakers, a night shirt, a blazer, leggings, casual shirts, a leather jacket, wheelchair gloves, and a Raindek, with the title “clothing”
8. Yellow slide with hand drawn illustrations of an electric toothbrush, purple toothpaste, facial cleanser, a hair wrap towel, gradual tanning moisturiser, tweezers, hair ties, shampoo and conditioner, and nail clippers, with the title “toiletries”
9. Turquoise slide with hand drawn illustrations of hairspray, a shaping brush, glitter, wipes, setting powder, concealer, neutral lipstick, an eye pencil, a base brush, blush, mascara, sponges, a felt tip liner, highlight, bronzer, eyeshadow, a blending brush, two eyeshadow brushes, reusable remover pads, and red lipstick, with the title “make up“
10. Yellow slide with photograph of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial, wheelchair user) with small black text that reads "Kia Ora! I'm Cait (they/them) With all my content I try to show the living & learning that comes from being a multiply disabled takatapui in Aoteroa New Zealand & foster safe community" 3 headings in white text bubbles read "" "follow” "subscribe" with socials icons for Instagram, Threads, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube.

08/07/2025

Hi there everybody! It has been a hot minute since I have been online. Once the sweet Adeline’s convention and the iLead conference were over, I caught a respiratory virus and reached a point of burnout so I have basically been in bed for the last two weeks. I’m still not back to my full self but I feel recovered enough to get back to posting. As you see from these photos, it hasn’t been all bad, in fact it has been a necessary break to fill my bucket. I’m glad to be back And there’s lots of things coming so keep an eye out for upcoming posts. Kia Ora!

05/06/2025

Thanks to Imani Barbarin Crutches and Spice by Imani Barbarin for helping me begin to understand just how deeply these things are connected. I will absolutely be celebrating our q***r community and culture this month but pride is a protest more than it’s a party and disabled q***rs are being neglected which does not work in anyone’s favour and I hope this helps clarify it even just a little for someone out there. Happy pride 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️♿️



Image Descriptions:
All slides are bright pink each with a hand-illustrated rainbow motif symbolising LGBTQ+ pride & disability. Text on slides read:
1. It’s LGBTQ+ Pride Month so let’s go over how ableism is deeply connected to q***rphobia
2. Ableism is intrinsically linked to q***rphobia because when there is hatred for LGBTQ+ people, ableism is the quickest and easiest way to remove our rights and freedoms.
3. When they deny adoption by a q***r couple, the “reason” is the health and well-being of the child, and that is a disability issue.
4. When they ban trans people from sport, the “reason” is that their bodies have abilities that are too different, and that is a disability issue.
5. When they want to stop people transitioning, they cut funding for gender-affirming healthcare and declare that being trans is a mental illness, and those are both disability issues.
6. When they want to oppress LGBTQ+ people, the easiest way is to say we’re mentally ill, or remove our healthcare, or find a way to blame it on our proficiency as workers, and all of these are disability issues.
7. And these tactics WORK because our deeply ableist society doesn’t mind leaving disabled people behind and so doesn’t take a stand when disability is claimed to be the heart of the issue.
8. This happens at every minority intersection with disability. Whether it’s women, or people of colour, or immigrants, or poor people, or fat people or [insert literally any group], it ALWAYS intersects with disability and it’s always a favourite tool for the oppressor and that is why during Pride Month we MUST be fighting to dismantle ableism because the more this tactic works, the more it will be used.
9. Ableism and Queerphobia cannot be separated and the LGBTQ+ community need to realise that.
10. I owe this perspective I have learned to Imani Barbarin who has been pitching this angle for years and has taught me so much.
11. Final Slide: Yellow slide with photograph of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) with small black text that reads "Kia Ora! I'm Cait (they/them) With all my content I try to show the living & learning that comes from being a multiply disabled takatapui in Aoteroa New Zealand & foster safe community" 3 headings in white text bubbles read "", "follow", "subscribe" with socials icons for instagram, threads, TikTok, facebook, and YouTube.

29/05/2025

These are all the mobility aids I currently use. A picture like this quickly says what EDS and mobility look like for me. May is both EDS/HSD Awareness Month AND Mobility Month. I want to highlight how they overlap.

My own EDS does affect my whole body. I have skin, bladder, neurological, digestive, dental, opthamological, dysautonomic, and energy issues, but the biggest impact EDS has on me are the effects on my joints and mobility.

I dislocate a lot. The instability causes constant, severe chronic pain throughout my body. I’ve had long term injuries since age 9, and I’ve been adapting mobility assistance constantly, for the last 8 years.

The number of aids I use indicates the dynamics of my disability, but more aids doesn’t always mean more disabled. The freedom I have to use a wide range of devices is a privilege I’ve worked hard for over many years in physiotherapy. And, it’s been expensive as only some of these are covered by public health. If I had free-flowing funds, I’d get more, so still more of the world could open up to me.

EDS/HSD encompasses a vast spectrum of complications and severity. Some live ordinary lives with some chronic pain and illness, some are injured more frequently, some are heavily impacted but retain some normality, some find a cane or crutch helpful, some drastically deteriorate over time, some lose the ability to safely walk or need to spend most of their time reclined, and some lose their lives to the complications. It’s impossible to put any EDS/HSD patient into a box. We are all unique in how it affects us.

In this way, EDS/HSD is a great example to illustrate the individuality of mobility & access needs. You can’t effectively box up people’s mobility needs. We’re unique in capability, life landscape, & financial outlook. The spectrum is wide within EDS/HSD and within assisted mobility en masse.

Across persons, needs and capabilities never repeat exactly. This could seem overwhelming, but really it simplifies things. All being asked, is to respect every person and their mobility needs as individual.



Image Descriptions:
Repeating slideshow of 5 images of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) sits on a deck step outdoors on a clear day wearing light jeans, sneakers, and a yellow striped shirt, surrounded by a large collection of mobility aids.

26/05/2025

This is a topic I’ve fielded hundreds of people’s questions about for the last four years and I have finally been able to put all the answers together in one place. There is a video on my YouTube now too which goes into greater detail.

When I started seeing surgeons and hand therapists about my wrists, ring splints weren’t on my radar. I knew they existed but I thought because I rarely got finger dislocations, rather rampant wrist ones, that they would not at all be useful to me. I think we were all surprised when we finally landed on this solution to what seemed for years like adjacent but separate problem.

The distinctive look of these braces I think draw in a lot of curiosity and interest, especially within disabled communities. I get a lot of people asking about them out of curiosity for their own needs and I completely understand that but I always implore that people must see a professional about them first. It’s easy to purchase these online, but even though they don’t look like a medical device, we must remember that they absolutely are and therefore the use of them needs input from a medical professional.

I hope this does indeed answer most people’s questions but always feel free to comment more or contact me with enquiries. Hopefully this can be a useful resource.



Image Descriptions:
1. Lime green slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month 2025, Ring Splints FAQ”
2. Yellow slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “I love all those rings you have! What are they for? Thanks, they’re actually splints. They work kind of like an exoskeleton to stabilise the joints in my hands.”
3. Purple slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Do they work? For me, they absolutely do — before I got them I was having several dislocations a day, now I get maybe several a month. But beware, they aren’t that effective for everyone.”
4. Turquoise slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Where did you get them? Mine are from Zebra Splints, a small US company run by another EDSer.”
5. Pink slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Are they painful? Now, no, not at all. But it took about 6 months to break them in and build up callouses, and that was painful. But now they cause no pain and save me from some constant pain.”
6. Fluorescent green slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Do you take them off or wear them all the time? I choose to wear mine 24/7 because that’s the best way to keep callouses sustained, they’re annoying to take on and off, and they help so much with everything I do.”
7. Orange slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “What made you decide to get them? A hand therapist I saw for months realised my hands were so generally unstable that my wrists were having to compensate which was causing relentless wrist injuries. Oval 8 trials made a big difference so she helped me get the right custom set.”
8. Fuchsia slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “How much did they cost? I got my set in 2021 and the total bill was NZD$450. That affordable price was the main reason I chose to buy from Zebra Splints.”
9. Pink slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “What are they made of? Mine are made of stainless steel but you can have them made in any metal you can think of and can come in so many styles and embellishments, but I chose the simplest options.”
10. Blue slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “How do they all fit together? The swan neck splints are held together with a small hinge per finger to stop the top ones falling off and keep them in position. The MCP is fastened with a wrist chain. There are many more designs than mine that cover all needs.”
11. Green slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Is it okay wearing them and pushing your wheelchair? For me, yes, especially now that they are broken in. They help me with the wheelchair more than they hinder.”
12. Blue slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Did you get them funded or have to pay privately? I had to pay privately because ACC would only pay for them for a specific acute injury and mine were for a chronic underlying condition.”
13. Orange slide with a cutout image of Cait’s hands with their ring splints on. White text reads “Any last pieces of advice?See a hand therapist before anything else — they might not be the right solution for you. You cannot hope to choose the right styles and sizes for yourself, you need professional input. Try temporary plastic options before you take the next step towards a metal set.”

15/04/2025

Doing AI doll trend, minus the AI.
I had a lot of fun creating these.

Every doll includes my wheelchair and crutches as they are extensions of me. The classic doll comes with accessories that colour my every single day.

The pride doll is in their peak sapphic non binary q***rdom. My q***rness is a huge aspect of my identity. It seemed like an obvious choice for a doll theme.

Lastly I have the zebra doll. Just in case anyone seeing this doesn’t know, the zebra is the symbol of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome because doctors are told when they begin their training that “when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.” It means assume that the diagnosis will be the most common and obvious conclusion because the chances of it being anything else are slim. But for EDS patients, we actually are zebras, dealing with rare and complex complications. So the zebra doll is a nod to the impact of EDS on my life and identity and its accessories help indicate that.

When it comes to a trend like this, I will never support the use of AI in this way. I avoid the technology as much as possible due to environmental impacts but especially when it comes to image generation that threatens creative industries as well.

I won’t tell you not to use AI at all, that’s almost impossible now and the technology is here to stay, but I will say that if you are using it please please please be informed about the security dangers, job elimination, environmental cost, and digital biases. Make your decisions about AI deliberately and after carefully informing yourself, that’s what I’d ask, because what I have learned certainly makes me avoid it everywhere I can. Make informed decisions.

But for now, I hope you enjoy these illustrations, done by hand on a digital sketchbook.
What themes would you include in your range of dolls? Just for fun ☺️



Image Descriptions:
1. Illustration of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) as a doll in packaging. It includes their wheelchair and crutches and their name “Cait Ruth” on box. The” Classic” labeled doll is in blue backdating, is wearing a pink and lime colour blocked shirt with a checkered purple and white vest, rust brown trousers and navy sneaker boots. It includes a coffee cup, pill box, apple, and headphones as accessories.
2. Illustration of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) as a doll in packaging. It includes Cait and their wheelchair and crutches and their name “Cait Ruth” on box. The “pride” labeled doll is in a pink box, wears a rainbow striped suit with a black graphic T-shirt and ankle cowboy boots, and includes a phone with a flames cover, aviator sunglasses, a “they them” pin, and a small LGBTQ flag as accessories.
3. Illustration of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) as a doll in packaging. It includes Cait and their wheelchair and crutches and their name “Cait Ruth” on box. The “zebra” doll is in a lime box, wears a zebra print shirt, navy vest, pale skinny jeans, and zebra print sneakers. It includes 2 tubie pads, a pill bottle, drink bottle, pair of wrist splints, and smart watch as accessories. The zebra doll also includes a zebra print on the purple crutches.
4. Yellow slide with photograph of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) with small black text that reads "Kia Ora! I'm Cait (they/them) With all my content I try to show the living & learning that comes from being a multiply disabled takatapui in Aoteroa New Zealand & foster safe community" 3 headings in white text bubbles read "" "follow" "subscribe" with socials icons for instagram, threads, TikTok, facebook, and YouTube.

15/04/2025

15/04/2025

15/04/2025

Despicable. This is one rung down from full blown eugenics and makes me furious and ashamed of my country. Disabled children are not a burden to society. They just are NOT.
What are your thoughts?

The family's bid for residency has been declined because their non-verbal son suffers seizures and needs 24-hour care.

15/04/2025

Comfort and control for wheelchair drivers—drive or sit upfront on every adventure.

07/04/2025

It’s World Health Day! & while Health and Disability overlap in a lot of areas, they are not one and the same.

Looking at the medical, functional, and social models of disability, different perspectives appear about what health means. It can mean a fully functional body and mind, it can mean having more healthy habits than harmful, or it can mean a baseline of self worth, self care, and mastery over one’s life.

I know from experience that while illness can cause disability and disability can increase illness, it is also possible to be abled yet critically unhealthy, to be disabled but super healthy, to live an unhealthy life and never become disabled, and to become healthier after becoming disabled.

Society often assumes that disabled people are also unwell, and that if people are abled then they absolutely must be healthy and well, but none of that is even close to universal.

Many disabled people have healthier habits than abled counterparts.

Chronically ill folk are still unwell even if they have exemplarily healthy habits.

Abled people can be total health buffs and still suddenly become disabled.

Abled people can have horrendously unhealthy habits yet still never become sick or disabled.

All these things are the reasons that a day like World Health Day is experienced in as vast an array of ways throughout the disabled community, just as it is across the abled demographic, because Health and Disability are not the same thing.

What’s your relationship to health and disability? I’d love to see examples of the variety in the comments below! 👇🏻



See comments or Alt Text for Image Descriptions

31/03/2025

Trans Day of Visibility

Do you see me?
Do I want you to?
The red or blue
Wrestling world
Has been seeing me too much
And too little.
I exist partisan,
My flesh a debate vice.
Lacking lies and disguise,
Hearts must soften hearts
While hearts harden hearts.
When the rich wage war,
Everybody dies.

Do you think we could agree that this year, trans people are more visible than ever before? Our existences have always been political but the extent to which our bodies and rights have become mere debate tools to distract from sociopolitical atrocities and to virtue-signal with makes me personally just want to shrink away and deny me from myself, to hide and disguise myself. To an extent I have always done that though and still do.

The true extent of my trans identity can’t be seen by looking at me but as much as that hurts, it is a conscious choice tipped by my disabilities. Disability doesn’t exclude anyone from being trans or transitioning of course, but it’s a common side-effect.

The biases that exist in healthcare towards disabled people are bad enough, especially for AFAB and BIPOC persons, and the biases against trans individuals likewise. People like myself who belong to two or more of those communities are essentially doomed within healthcare, but for disabled and chronically ill people, being able to access treatment and management can very swiftly become a matter of life or death. Therefore the decision to seek gender-affirming care unjustly becomes a trade-off between healthcare and shame, or risking your life to exist in the world without hating yourself. Every disabled trans person comes at this decision in their own way. My decision so far has been to delay seeking gender-affirming care until it feels safer in regard to my accessing care for my disabilities.

This is one flavour of an undercurrent of all trans identity where we weigh up our safety and freedom against the relief and joy that comes out of living as who we really are. On this day of visibility, I’m not sure if I even want my transness to be visible but I do believe that as long as our species continues to war over our rights to exist, everybody loses.



Image Descriptions:
1. Headshot of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) wearing a oversized button down over a red T-shirt, with a “they them” pronoun badge and non binary flag themed makeup, posed relaxed in front of a rainbow pride flag backdrop. A heading reads, “Trans Day of Visibility” and text overlay reads “Do you see me? Do I want you to?”
2. Cait on a wide footpath in the dark on night, under a streetlight, in their manual wheelchair, posed casually wearing metallic silver trousers, a white formal button down and mustard yellow tie. A heading reads, “Trans Day of Visibility” and text overlay reads “The red or blue, Wrestling world, Has been seeing me too much, And too little.”
3. Cait in their manual wheelchair on the grass curb of a residential street on a stormy overcast day. They’re dead centre of the frame and posed looking out of frame over their left shoulder. They’re wearing a vintage patterned sleeveless button down with long mesh sleeves layered underneath, a long black skirt, and sneakers. A heading reads, “Trans Day of Visibility” and text overlay reads “I exist partisan, My flesh a debate vice.”
4. Cait from a low angle posed in their manual wheelchair in front of a vast set of concrete steps, a 4 story office block, and blue sky. They’re wearing army green jeans, a pink patterned button down, sneakers, and a yellow mask. A heading reads, “Trans Day of Visibility” and text overlay reads “Lacking lies and disguise, Hearts must soften hearts, While hearts harden hearts.”
5. Cait in their manual wheelchair in a garden centre surrounded by ferns, wearing black leather trousers with a green marbled button down and black boots. A heading reads, “Trans Day of Visibility” and text overlay reads “When the rich wage war, Everybody dies.”
6. Yellow slide with photograph of Cait (white-passing, non binary, millennial) with small black text that reads “Kia Ora! I'm Cait (they/them)With all my content I try to show the living & learning that comes from being a multiply disabled takatapui in Aoteroa New Zealand & foster safe community” 3 headings in white text bubbles read “” “follow” “subscribe” with socials icons for instagram, threads, TikTok, facebook, and YouTube.