19/08/2025
📰 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝘼𝙄𝙇𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙈𝘽𝙊𝙊
“News That Bends But Never Breaks”
Tuesday, August 19, 2025
---
𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧 𝗝𝗨𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗦 𝗨𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗜𝗟 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗔𝗚𝗘: 𝗩𝗜𝗣 𝗘𝗫𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
PORT MORESBY – The National Court has once again proven that in Papua New Guinea, justice doesn’t just wear a blindfold—it comes with a VIP membership card.
While former Deputy Finance Secretary Jacob Yafai sweats in court over the small matter of K41.8 million evaporating into thin air, the nation wonders: what about the Big Men who were sitting in the driver’s seat at the time?
Legal insiders assure us there’s nothing to worry about. According to the newly discovered “Waigani Rule Book”:
Rule #1: If you are an ordinary citizen, even stealing a tin fish guarantees a 3-month holiday at Bomana.
Rule #2: If you are a public servant, you may get blamed—but don’t worry, you’ll still be granted bail long enough to attend your son’s wedding and daughter’s graduation.
Rule #3: If you are a Prime Minister, relax—our courts will officially label all your actions as “divine oversight”.
One judge, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained:
“We don’t convict Prime Ministers, we only invite them to testify. It keeps the courtroom tidy.”
Meanwhile, political analysts say the Yafai verdict proves PNG’s justice system works perfectly—as long as you define “works” as punishing the middlemen while polishing the shoes of the powerful.
Citizens are urged not to speculate about Prime Minister Marape’s role. After all, in Waigani’s courtrooms, speculation is illegal—unless it’s used to defend the accused.
As one weary taxi driver in Gordons put it:
“In PNG, the law is like Digicel data—you buy it thinking it’s yours, but somehow the Big Men always use it first.”
---
⚖️ Justice in PNG: Blind, Deaf, and Occasionally for Hire.
