06/11/2025
Itâs been a couple of weeks since Emman passed⌠and even after her funeral, it still doesnât feel real. Everything happened so suddenly.
Emman was one of those people who just radiated light. Whether you saw her online or in person, she had this sunshine energy that made people drawn to her. She was warm, funny, and had this spark that could make any room feel lighter.
I first met her at a hosting party back in June 2023. I donât even know if she remembered that moment, but thatâs when we first exchanged socials since we were both part of the event. Fast forward to October 31 during the Shake Rattle and Ball event⌠it was me and Rileyâs first time joining, and we had such a great time. Thatâs when I met her again, and this time we actually got to talk. I even introduced her to my friends. We danced, laughed, and talked until our feet hurt. Before going home, we told her, âLetâs hang out more.â Because her energy was just that contagious.
Then, on January 26, 2025, we finally did. We had dinner near her rock climbing gym⌠just the three of us.. me, Riley, and Emman. We talked about life, content, and random things. Later, we went to Xylo to party and she took a few shots of tequila. She got so drunk that night.. but in the cutest way.
We ended the night at Dennyâs, eating because we were all starving. That moment⌠thatâs one of my favorite memories of her. She was scrolling through Instagram, almost liking her crushâs posts, laughing so much she could barely breathe. She even told us about her favorite server there, Kuya CJ, and how she loved their bangus. Now, every time I go to Dennyâs, I canât help but think of her.
A few weeks later, we planned another hangout⌠a girlsâ date with our friend Yamour. We went shopping at SM Aura, did some thrifting in Makati, and ended the night at Greenbelt for dinner.
That night during dinner, our conversation got really deep. We talked about life, friendships, and the things we struggled with. And thatâs when I realized.. behind her bright smile and all that positivity, she was also carrying a lot of pain. It made me see how strong she really was⌠and how so many of us are quietly fighting our own battles without saying a word.
When I got home that night, I couldnât stop thinking about everything she said. I used to compare myself to her.. how she looked so put-together, how perfect her life seemed online. But that night changed how I saw her⌠and how I saw myself. Even the happiest-looking people are fighting something we donât see.
And that hit me hard.
Iâve been struggling with my mental health for months. I have severe anxiety, and Iâve had panic attacks.. sometimes occur even in public. There was even a time I almost got hospitalized because of severe depression and anxiety. I would disappear from social media for weeks, then come back acting like nothing happened.
Thatâs why Emmanâs passing hit me so deeply. She was so open about her struggles, while Iâve been so quiet about mine.
And knowing that someone I admired so much⌠someone who always spoke about mental health and encouraged people to seek help⌠went through something so painful that she couldnât fight anymore.. it broke me.
She was one of my biggest motivations to do well. Me and Riley would always say our goal is to live a life like hers.. full of kindness, passion, and light.
But now I canât stop thinking⌠I shouldâve scheduled our next hangout right away. I shouldâve texted her more. I shouldâve told her, âI really want to know you more⌠I want to be closer to you.â I wish I said those things while I still could.
Wherever you are now, Emman⌠I hope youâre happy. No more pain, no more heaviness.. just peace.
Your passing reminded me that itâs okay to not be okay. Even when youâre the âhappy one,â you still deserve to rest, to cry, to be cared for.
If thereâs one thing I want people to take from your story⌠itâs this.. please, be kind. Check on your friends, even the ones who look fine. Because sometimes, the ones who make everyone smile are the ones who need love the most.
Rest in peace, our dearest Emman. Thank you for your light, your laughter, and your warmth. Thank you for reminding us to live honestly, to love deeply, and to be gentle with ourselves. Youâll always be remembered⌠and deeply missed. đ¤ď¸
