18/11/2024
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๐ข๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง || Escaping Yesterday
โAre you okay?โ he asked.
โI donโt knowโฆโ I answered.
Itโs been days since Iโve been feeling this way, and I donโt know why. Iโve been in a constant mess, feeling like Iโve just been living because it is โrequired.โ
โHaha, funny,โ I thought.
But itโs not my choice, though. I didnโt choose to be here. I donโt want to be here.
โDo you ever feel like escaping?โ I asked him.
โEscape from what?โ he replied.
โYou knowโฆ from everything, from โyourโ life,โ I added.
โWhy did you ask that? I donโt knowโฆ I kinda like my life,โ he said.
โOf course you like your life, who wouldnโt? A complete, happy family. A girlfriend to be with, so many friends, and importantly, financially stableโdoesnโt need to worry about everything,โ I thought in my head.
โItโs just nothing. I do want to escape, thoughโnot from life, since we really canโt escape from it. Haha,โ I laughed sarcastically. โBut I want to escape from here, to live far away from these people, to a place where I am not recognized, and just live my life the way I want, the way Iโm supposed to live,โ I continued.
But thatโs not entirely true. Yes, I want to live far away from here, but with the person I loveโloved? โWhy does my mind suddenly think of him?โ I spaced out.
โWell, you can do that. You can escape if you want. Right now, I can help you,โ he said.
โWhat? Are you sure? Haha, donโt fool me,โ I smiled at him, wondering if his offer was true or not.
โYes, I am sure, but with one condition,โ he replied.
Why am I having second thoughts? This is what I want, right? Right?
โWhat condition?โ I asked.
โItโs simple. I want you to fulfill your goals, to satisfy yourself. I want to see you happy, and if the only way I can see you happy is to escape and live far away, then Iโll help you,โ he said.
I looked at him. He looked so serious, like there was something in him, some shift in his aura.
โI am happy here, but sure,โ I said. But somethingโs bothering my mind.
โNo, youโre not,โ he said, looking straight into my eyes.
โโฆโ I paused.
We locked eyes on each other, feeling the tension between us. Then I looked away, breaking the tension between us.
โNot gonna lie, this place is beautiful,โ I thought to myself as I looked over the horizon.
The bright blue sky, the sound of waves, the seagullsโ noiseโI will surely miss this.
โSoโฆ when are you gonna go?โ he asked.
โWell, I need to say goodbye first, haha,โ I said jokingly.
โOf course, hahaโฆ of course,โ he said, smiling while looking beyond the sea.
โGod, he is handsome,โ I thought.
I looked at him, looked at myself, โso Iโm really doing this, haha.โ I looked at him again, then at the horizon.
โIโm sorryโฆ I wanted to stay, but we know we canโt. I canโt just live like this. No matter how much Iโll wait for you, thereโs always one ending, and it will always be between you and meโฆโ I said, my voice breaking.
I looked at him, then at the sea.
โI really wanted it to be you, though, but itโs time now. It is time for me to be free, to escape from this feeling,โ I slowly looked at him.
โWhat a beautiful, tragic love,โ I thought. I smiled at him, a different smile than before. I then looked at the sky again. โWhat a beautiful sunset. Sunset in the sea always never fails me. Itโs always a reminder that even endings can be beautiful.โ
I smiled at myself and took the courage to say something, this time a reassuranceโacceptance of everything.
โIโm sorry. I love you today, I loved you yesterday, and hopefully, I wonโt love you tomorrow. Goodbye,โ I said loudly, feeling like the wind carried the words I had just spoken.
I looked at my side again, at him, and there he was, slowly fading in the air. โThank you for helping me escape,โ I mouthed.
From now on, Iโll be freeโescaping the shadows of my past that have haunted me for too long. Itโs time to bury the life I once knew. Thank youโฆ
โ๏ธ: Chelleii
๐จ: Jenny Babe Consegra