18/11/2024
𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 || Escaping Yesterday
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know…” I answered.
It’s been days since I’ve been feeling this way, and I don’t know why. I’ve been in a constant mess, feeling like I’ve just been living because it is “required.”
‘Haha, funny,’ I thought.
But it’s not my choice, though. I didn’t choose to be here. I don’t want to be here.
“Do you ever feel like escaping?” I asked him.
“Escape from what?” he replied.
“You know… from everything, from ‘your’ life,” I added.
“Why did you ask that? I don’t know… I kinda like my life,” he said.
‘Of course you like your life, who wouldn’t? A complete, happy family. A girlfriend to be with, so many friends, and importantly, financially stable—doesn’t need to worry about everything,’ I thought in my head.
“It’s just nothing. I do want to escape, though—not from life, since we really can’t escape from it. Haha,” I laughed sarcastically. “But I want to escape from here, to live far away from these people, to a place where I am not recognized, and just live my life the way I want, the way I’m supposed to live,” I continued.
But that’s not entirely true. Yes, I want to live far away from here, but with the person I love—loved? ‘Why does my mind suddenly think of him?’ I spaced out.
“Well, you can do that. You can escape if you want. Right now, I can help you,” he said.
“What? Are you sure? Haha, don’t fool me,” I smiled at him, wondering if his offer was true or not.
“Yes, I am sure, but with one condition,” he replied.
Why am I having second thoughts? This is what I want, right? Right?
“What condition?” I asked.
“It’s simple. I want you to fulfill your goals, to satisfy yourself. I want to see you happy, and if the only way I can see you happy is to escape and live far away, then I’ll help you,” he said.
I looked at him. He looked so serious, like there was something in him, some shift in his aura.
“I am happy here, but sure,” I said. But something’s bothering my mind.
“No, you’re not,” he said, looking straight into my eyes.
“…” I paused.
We locked eyes on each other, feeling the tension between us. Then I looked away, breaking the tension between us.
‘Not gonna lie, this place is beautiful,’ I thought to myself as I looked over the horizon.
The bright blue sky, the sound of waves, the seagulls’ noise—I will surely miss this.
“So… when are you gonna go?” he asked.
“Well, I need to say goodbye first, haha,” I said jokingly.
“Of course, haha… of course,” he said, smiling while looking beyond the sea.
‘God, he is handsome,’ I thought.
I looked at him, looked at myself, ‘so I’m really doing this, haha.’ I looked at him again, then at the horizon.
“I’m sorry… I wanted to stay, but we know we can’t. I can’t just live like this. No matter how much I’ll wait for you, there’s always one ending, and it will always be between you and me…” I said, my voice breaking.
I looked at him, then at the sea.
“I really wanted it to be you, though, but it’s time now. It is time for me to be free, to escape from this feeling,” I slowly looked at him.
‘What a beautiful, tragic love,’ I thought. I smiled at him, a different smile than before. I then looked at the sky again. ‘What a beautiful sunset. Sunset in the sea always never fails me. It’s always a reminder that even endings can be beautiful.’
I smiled at myself and took the courage to say something, this time a reassurance—acceptance of everything.
“I’m sorry. I love you today, I loved you yesterday, and hopefully, I won’t love you tomorrow. Goodbye,” I said loudly, feeling like the wind carried the words I had just spoken.
I looked at my side again, at him, and there he was, slowly fading in the air. ‘Thank you for helping me escape,’ I mouthed.
From now on, I’ll be free—escaping the shadows of my past that have haunted me for too long. It’s time to bury the life I once knew. Thank you…
✍️: Chelleii
🎨: Jenny Babe Consegra
