30/06/2025
"WHEN LOVE BECOMES P4IN, CHOOSING YOURSELF ISN'T SELFISH".
Hi, First time in my life sharing confession. I am 28(F) and He is 29(M) I was in a relationship for 12 years. I gave everything — my time, my trust, my forgiveness, and my future. I believed in him, even when every part of me whispered to walk away. At first, we were happy — small f!ghts, big love, and endless promises. But when the pandemic hit, everything changed. He started g4mbl!ng. I stayed. I made excuse after excuse, telling myself he was lost, that love alone could save him. From 2021 to 2023, the cycle never ended — g4mbl!ng, l!es, betr4y4l, and ste4l!ng m0n3y that wasn’t his. One time, he even spent m0n3y meant for something important on g4mbl!ng. I forgave him again. Over and over. Hoping. Waiting. Believing. Even when my heart br0ke quietly each time.
Then came the che4ting. Someone told me he kissed another girl. When I asked, he denied it. I chose to believe him, because sometimes the truth is too painful to hold. Sometimes it’s easier to hold on to a l!e than face the shattering reality. He was verbally 4bus!ve too — curs!ng at me, bel!ttl!ng me in moments when I should have felt love. And still, I stayed. I told myself it was just 4nger, just str3ss. But those words cut deeper than any w0und — leaving sc4rs I carry inside. The breaking point? Because of his g4mbl!ng, he p4wned our engagement ring — the symbol of the life we were supposed to build. He traded it like it meant nothing, like our future meant nothing. And in that moment, I broke. Not because I stopped loving him, but because I realized how little he loved me back.
Even as we broke up, I protected him. I defended him to others, hiding the truth behind a smile. I took the bl4me, shielded him from judgment — even if it meant hiding my own p4in. It’s been a year since I walked away, but the wounds still bl33d. He still reaches out, tries to pull me back, p4ints me as the vill4in — saying I gave up, I changed, I stopped caring. But what he doesn’t say is that the woman who walked away was br0ken by him. I’m 28 now. He’s 29. I have a stable, permanent job of 5-years. I’m building my life, piece by p4inful piece. I’m trying to heal, but some nights the loneliness is crushing. And still, every day, I ask myself: Did I make the right decision? I’m sc4red to love again. Afr4id to trust. I gave so much to someone who only gave me scr4ps — never enough to feel safe, never enough to feel loved. I thought I was building a future. Instead, I was losing myself.
But I know this now: I’m not selfish for walking away. I’m not weak for saying “enough.” I’m not wrong for choosing peace over ch4os. I didn’t stop loving him — I finally started loving me.
To anyone out there feeling tr4pped, br0ken, or sc4red: You are not alone. You are not too much to love. You loved someone who didn’t know how to love you back. You are allowed to leave — no matter how many years you’ve spent. If you still stayed without seeing an improvement, well you deserve what you tolerate. You are allowed to seek peace — even if it bre4ks your heart. You are allowed to start again.
