22/10/2024
The Single Mom by Koichi đż
Anna stood at the edge of the bridge, staring down at the murky water below. The wind howled through the night, biting at her skin, pushing her closer to the edge. She could feel the weight of it allâthe years of struggle, the loneliness, the abandonment. Her body shook, not from the cold but from the sheer exhaustion of trying to survive in a world that seemed determined to break her.
Behind her, the lights of the city flickered, indifferent. She had once dreamed of a life filled with warmth, love, and security. But those dreams had faded long ago, washed away by broken promises and endless hardship. She had trusted two men, and both had left her shattered. First Sofia's father, then Daniel's. They had each walked away, leaving her alone to pick up the pieces of her life, caring for two children without a trace of the men who had promised to love her.
It had all become too much.
She had nothing left to give. Nothing left to hope for. The stall she ran at the market barely brought in enough to cover food, let alone the bills that piled up like a crushing wave threatening to drown her. Daniel was too young to understand what was happening, and Sofia⊠Sofia was too small, just a newborn.
Anna felt the tears spill from her eyes as she thought of Sofia, who had only been on this earth for a few months but already carried the weight of saving her mother's life. There was a time, not long ago, when Anna had stood in this very spot, ready to let goâready to end the pain. But that night, something had stopped her. Sofia had stopped her.
Anna remembered that night with painful clarity. She had come home from a day of endless rejection, her food stall earnings barely enough to buy rice. The lights in the tiny hut had been off because she couldn't afford the electricity. Daniel was asleep on the worn-out couch, his little body curled up in the only blanket they had left. And then there was Sofia, swaddled in a makeshift cloth, her tiny face scrunched up, hungry.
Anna had stood over the crib, staring at her daughter, her mind racing with thoughts of escape. How easy it would be to just let go, she had thought, her heart heavy with the idea of release. No more bills, no more hunger, no more loneliness.
But in that moment, as she looked down at Sofiaâs fragile form, something happened. Sofia opened her eyesâbig, innocent, unknowingâand then, as if sensing her motherâs pain, she smiled. It was a soft, almost imperceptible smile, but it pierced through the darkness that had wrapped around Annaâs soul. That tiny smile had saved her. In that moment, Sofia became her tether to this world, the only reason she had not let go that night.
Now, standing on the bridge again, Anna felt that same darkness creeping in. The weight of raising two children alone, the fear of never being enough, the constant rejection and struggleâit had worn her down to almost nothing. Daniel was growing fast, asking more questions about where his father was, why they didnât have what the other kids had. And Sofia⊠Sofiaâs needs were endless, her cries piercing through the quiet of the night, reminding Anna that she couldnât fail. But what if she already had?
Anna took a step closer to the edge, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps. How much longer could she keep fighting? How much longer before she truly had nothing left?
The wind picked up, swirling around her, and in the distance, she heard the faintest soundâa cry. It was so soft she wasnât sure if she had imagined it, but then it came again, clearer this time. Sofia. Her daughterâs cry cut through the noise in Annaâs head, pulling her back from the abyss. It was a desperate, hungry cry, the sound of a life that depended entirely on her.
She stumbled back from the edge, her hands shaking as she clutched at the railing, gasping for air. Sofiaâs cry echoed in her mind, reminding her that she couldnât leave. Not yet.
Anna turned and hurried home, her heart pounding, her mind clouded with shame. She had almost done it. She had almost left them alone in this world. When she reached the door to their tiny apartment, she could hear Sofiaâs cries more clearly now, louder, more insistent. Daniel was asleep, as always, his face peaceful in a way that broke her heart.
She rushed to Sofiaâs crib, scooping up the tiny, squirming baby. Sofia stopped crying almost immediately, her big eyes looking up at her mother. And then, just as she had months ago, Sofia smiled. That same small, fragile smile that had saved Anna once before.
Tears filled Annaâs eyes as she held her daughter close, rocking her gently. She knew the world wouldnât be kind to them. She knew there would be more nights like this, more days where she barely scraped by, more moments where she doubted whether she could keep going.
But for now, Sofiaâs smile was enough to pull her back from the darkness. It was enough to remind her that, even in this pain, even in this endless struggle, she couldnât give up.
As the night stretched on, Anna sat by the window, cradling her daughter, listening to the sounds of the city outside. Her heart was heavy, and the future felt like an insurmountable mountain, but Sofia was here. Daniel was here. They needed her, and for as long as they did, she would keep fightingâeven if it broke her.
She whispered into the night, her voice barely audible, âI wish things were better.â
But she knew better than to hope for miracles.
The darkness settled around her, heavier than before. She was still alone, still abandoned, still carrying the weight of two lives that werenât hers. But she couldnât leave. Not yet.
Sofia stirred in her arms, her tiny hand grasping at Annaâs finger. And in that quiet moment, Anna knew that her lifeâno matter how hard, no matter how painfulâwas tied to theirs.
