Bev Yml

06/07/2023

Surviving sa stress sa mga forms.
2 weeks na wala sapat na tulog 💪

20/05/2023

Minsan naiisip mo ba na ginagamit ka lng at their own benefit?
And find their way and will tell you that will both benefit naman from it.
They will lure you from their drama para ma-divert kung minsan yung kung ano talaga kailangan mo i settle.
Familiar right?
When you choose to be silent, it means you are seriously dealing with it, and if they are only adding noise, dont ever get distracted, they just want attention but not to help.
Be careful with those kinds of people.
They know exactly how to play their games.

19/05/2023

See? Life is full of surprises.
Like having unexpected people who will suddenly appear and offer a helping hand.
It's just amazing how you don't actually ask for it but they insist.
With that, I know I'm already winning this life.
Thanking God or the good people he send.

18/05/2023

Yung ayaw mo na magpa comfort, every week ba naman lagi kang meron dinadala. Parang ikaw na mismo napagod para sa mga friend mo na icomfort ka. HAHAHA

18/05/2023

The greatest testing is when you are in your financial crisis,
That's when you will know how resilient you are and who will be there for you as well.

11/05/2023

Although it is true,
there are things you can't control.
People you can't change...
Your feelings you can't stop...
But if all these keep on hurting you,
do what can ease the pain.
If it means abandoning these people and feelings,
Just go on...
You're doing yourself a favor.
You have to prioritize your inner peace and happiness while letting them continue on their journey that you suppose ain't giving you real peace.
Traverse your own mountain..

29/04/2023

[TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH, DEPRESSION]

It still amazes me how my friends know me better than my blood. My friends? We didn’t grow up under the same roof. We went to different schools, played different games, had a lot of different experiences. But they know me as if they’re around even before my first breath.

They know what to say and not say. They know what conversations could trigger me so they try their best to avoid it. They know how to handle my episodes. They don’t force me back to the right mind rightaway for the sake of duty. Instead, they give me space and let me have ample silence until I think things over and come back myself. They know me when I’m hurting. They know that “how are you?” and “are you okay?” shouldn’t be asked because I’ll just lie about it. They know from the looks in my eyes when I lose control, when I disconnect with the world, when I’m not myself. They let me grieve, they let be at my lowest. They never make me feel like I always have to be strong because I have people to look after. They never force me to succeed. They never force me to always be the bigger person. They let me acknowledge my own feelings. They always know where I’m coming from even when they’ve never been there.

Most of all, they know that damaged child hidden inside my body. They know her like the back of their hands. They know she likes strawberry ice cream, they know she can’t tolerate noise as it reminds her of wall banging. They know what she had to go through. They know she looks tough like a concrete wall on the outside but on the inside, she’s just a pup craving for gentle hands that never landed on her for years now. They know why she’s like that and what she needs. They know that no matter how impulsive she may seem, she’s not a terrible person—just in pain.

I’m a complicated being. But my friends managed to figure out who I am and why I am the way I am. Sometimes I even think they know me better than my own self.

So if I die today, don’t come looking for clues in my bedroom. I won’t leave it there. Look for my friends, they’ll know every little detail.

—Ali
Artwork retrieved from: https://www.instagram.com/p/CGfsNMJhkt1/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

29/04/2023

Sayang ang lungkot ko.
Malakas pa din ako kumain.
Hindi ako papayat.

29/04/2023

28/04/2023

Someone asked me,
"What will make you happy?"
Asking if she would do something about it.
Maybe in a small thing, she wants to take me somewhere to escape but,
I wasn't able to answer back.
Because I know what will make me happy,
But it will take time for it to happen.
I'm too shy to answer, because my trouble seems to be petty....
But it's taking over me in the meantime,
but I hope it won't take that long for me to get rid-off that feeling.
-Lets talk about life over coffee ☕

28/04/2023

I thought my mind would be at rest after being somewhere.
But now, my emotional and mental state is in turbulence.
I want to do a solo trip.
Somewhere far.
Find peace and stillness.
Maybe I got so tired trying to understand things and people's behavior.
Those who are close to me.(just some of them)
I want to change too.
Change of environment, work and atmosphere.

I heard someone telling me to aim higher, and not just settle for what I'm doing now. but how can I?
When all I want to do is be somewhere and be at peace. That's my goal.
My bliss.
Which some people do not understand
and find it weird.
I also think the same about them, for not trying to understand that people aren't same.
We have our own definition of goals, dreams, and happiness.

I want to drift away. For awhile.