24/10/2025
âmaybe I dont deserve to be here and be happyâ âIâve watched Emman Atienza before and she been through so much since she was a child, yet people still choose to be meanđĽ You never know whose heart is heavy. Your words have power, use them to lift, not to bring someone down.
âThere are so many hateful comments. I was completely fine at first but it gets to the point where people commenting about how I should just täke my life, Iâm ugly useless, and disappointmentâ
âAll those words, I already heard from my highschool days. For like two days, I was really crying and crying. I was questioning myself like âMaybe Iâm a bad person. Maybe I donât deserve to be hereâ because Iâve done so much to heal from the pastâ
What about your parents. Paano nila hinandle? - Toni
âI handle it on my own. I donât want them to worry about it. I was considering seeing a therapist againâ
âI started therapy when I was battling with my mental health when I was 13. Because it gets to the point that I started self harmÄąng. And at the time, my only coping mechanism is to hurt myseIfâ
âMy parents were very busy when I was a child and my yaya was only my companion. She was verbally abusÄąng me like she always insult me like how people on twitter were saying. She would lock me in the closet. When I donât sleep, she would slap meâ
âThis should be awakening sa mga parents na alamin kung saan at sino yung mag-aalaga sa mga anak natin. Yan ang magiging childhood nila at kung ang gagawin ng yaya or guardian malaking impact yunâ - Toni
âI heard you were also bully in school?â - Toni
âYeah. I was very outspoken, quirky but in a lovable way. They would always me a w***e. Like okay, âif this is what you think I am then thatâs what Iâll beââ
âSo, I would host a party. I would buy tables for people at the club. All of that to fulfill this crazy wild persona that they call me. Like cool girl rebellious but inside im hurtingâ
âBut the controversy happened. I was back from the trauma again. I started questioning myself âmaybe im not a good person. Maybe I dont deserve to be happy. What if I just dieâďżźâ
âThe moment I thought of that, I stopped and tell myself âYouâre worth it. You need to break the cycle when people always bring you downââ
âIâm loving, bubbly, loud, happy, outgoingâ
âI managed it all. When I look back, Iâm so proud of myself. If I didnât deal with these. God knows where I would beâ
Rest in peace, Emman đď¸ no more pain.
Jane Riego
