The Thu'um Publication

The Thu'um Publication The Official Student Publication of the College of Engineering at MSU-IIT

๐Œ๐’๐”-๐ˆ๐ˆ๐“ ๐„๐„ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ž ๐š๐ญ ๐‘๐’๐‚๐Ž๐๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“, ๐ฌ๐ž๐œ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐Ÿ ๐ฆ๐š๐ฃ๐จ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ Mindanao State University โ€“ Iligan Institute o...
11/10/2025

๐Œ๐’๐”-๐ˆ๐ˆ๐“ ๐„๐„ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ž ๐š๐ญ ๐‘๐’๐‚๐Ž๐๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“, ๐ฌ๐ž๐œ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐Ÿ ๐ฆ๐š๐ฃ๐จ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ

Mindanao State University โ€“ Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT)โ€™s Electrical Engineering program celebrated dual triumphs at the 2025 Regional Student Conference (RSCON25), with two teams earning top positions in the eventโ€™s most competitive categories.

In the Regional Math Wizard Competition, a team led by Germaine Phil V. Herreraโ€”alongside Allan T. Aspe Jr., Nathaniel P. Laid, France Dave A. Mabuyo, and Noriel T. Vicoyโ€”claimed the championship. Guided by their mentor, Engr. Karl Martin A. Aldueso, the team dominated a series of rigorous mathematical challenges, showcasing advanced problem-solving skills, speed, and teamwork.

Simultaneously, the Regional Quiz Show (RQS) Team secured 1st runner-up honors. Led by France Dave A. Mabuyo, with members Allan T. Aspe Jr., Germaine Phil V. Herrera, Earl Laurence J. Malinis, and Edwardson B. Namindang. Also mentored by Engr. Aldueso, the team demonstrated exceptional intellect and composure under pressure.

RSCON25, an annual gathering of engineering and technology students, highlights individual mastery and collaborative strategy across disciplines. These victories add to MSU-IITโ€™s growing legacy of academic excellence, reinforcing its status as a leading STEM institution in the region. The dual achievements underscore the strength of the Electrical Engineering program and the effectiveness of its mentorship, reflecting the universityโ€™s commitment to nurturing future leaders.

Written by John Leo Rullin and Mohammadraihan Bocari
Proofready by Sean Abranilla
Photo by Rey Joaquin Eva
Layout by Julia Kristine Montalbo


Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) celebrated World Mental Health Day on October 10, 2...
10/10/2025

Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) celebrated World Mental Health Day on October 10, 2025, emphasizing the critical need to prioritize well-being and actively dismantle mental health stigma.

The observance began with a unifying Mental Health Walk from Rizal Park to Peace Park, immediately followed by engaging booths and interactive activities. These initiatives strongly encouraged students and faculty to embrace self-care as a non-negotiable part of their academic lives.

This day serves as a powerful call for kindnessโ€”both toward ourselves and to those who may be struggling in silence. We must work together to cultivate a campus and a society where mental health is openly valued, conversations are readily shared, and support is consistently within reach.

The event accomplished more than just raising awareness; it actively instilled hope. It provided a tangible reminder to the entire MSU-IIT community that healing is achievable, necessary support is accessible, and that championing mental health moves us all closer to building a kinder, more compassionate world.

Let us all internalize this vital message: it's healthy to pause, it's courageous to ask for help, and it is always acceptable not to be okay.

Written by Ashley Allyssa Ravanera
Proofread by Angel Mariรฑo
Photos by Rey Joaquin Eva and Xander Cage Ycong


๐€๐ƒ๐•๐ˆ๐’๐Ž๐‘๐˜: The Mindanao State Universityโ€“Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) has announced that all graduate and und...
10/10/2025

๐€๐ƒ๐•๐ˆ๐’๐Ž๐‘๐˜: The Mindanao State Universityโ€“Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) has announced that all graduate and undergraduate classes will shift to online modes on October 11 and 12, 2025.

In a memorandum released by the Office of the University Chancellor, the directive was made to allow the MSU-IIT Incident Command System (MICS) and the Infrastructure Services Division to conduct a thorough assessment of all campus buildings and facilities following the recent earthquake.

Regular on-campus classes are expected to resume once the infrastructure assessment is completed and safety is confirmed.


๐–๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐Œ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฅ ๐‡๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก ๐ƒ๐š๐ฒ ๐’๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ: ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ, ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌA lot of things happen all at once, and it can be overwhelm...
10/10/2025

๐–๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐Œ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐š๐ฅ ๐‡๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก ๐ƒ๐š๐ฒ ๐’๐ฉ๐ž๐œ๐ข๐š๐ฅ: ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ, ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ

A lot of things happen all at once, and it can be overwhelming. So much that it feels impossible to carry everything at the same time.

As students, we bear the constant pressure to excel academically. As children far from the embrace of our parents, we long to hug them and feel at home again. As we grow older, we become consumed by the drive to succeed and often forget to cherish the present moment. It can all be so dreadful.

Today, as we celebrate ๐—ช๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐— ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—›๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜๐—ต ๐——๐—ฎ๐˜†, we encourage you to pause and reflect.

We, the ๐—ง๐—ต๐˜‚โ€™๐˜‚๐—บ ๐—ฃ๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, offer you a heartfelt collection of literary pieces that remind you that you are seen, heard, and deeply felt. We recognize your struggles, your fears, and your silent screams. Through this compilation, we hope you find comfort, warmth, and love in every word.

Always remember that ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ ๐— ๐—”๐—ง๐—ง๐—˜๐—ฅ. Even when you feel like no one needs you, know that someone out there is thankful to see you breathing. Someone is smiling just by catching a glimpse of your life.

In a world that constantly demands more from us, choosing to rest, to heal, and to seek help when needed is a quiet form of strength. Let us continue to break the silence, extend kindness, and remind one another that healing is not linear. That itโ€™s okay to not be okay sometimes.


This October, World Mental Health Month 2025 reminds us: your mind deserves care, not pressure. Healing isnโ€™t about fixi...
09/10/2025

This October, World Mental Health Month 2025 reminds us: your mind deserves care, not pressure. Healing isnโ€™t about fixing whatโ€™s brokenโ€”itโ€™s about feeling whatโ€™s real. Rest isnโ€™t quittingโ€”itโ€™s recharging. And asking for help? Thatโ€™s not weakness. Thatโ€™s courage in its most honest form.

In support, Thuโ€™um Publication joins in solidarity with the Institute-Wide World Mental Health Day Celebration: Paglalakbay Tungo sa Sama-Samang Ginhawa. The journey toward collective healing calls for more than awarenessโ€”it demands action.

Let us choose compassion over silence. A listening ear. A gentle โ€œIโ€™m here.โ€ A world where transparency is met with kindness, not judgment. Because sometimes, the smallest act of warmth can be the loudest form of support. This month, be the reason someone feels seenโ€”not alone.

Written by John Leo Rullin
Layout by Kenn Louise Aguado







๐Œ๐’๐”-๐ˆ๐ˆ๐“ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฆ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ง๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐งโ€™๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ค๐ฌ ๐Ÿ‘๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐“๐‡๐„ ๐–๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐”๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐‘๐š๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”Mindanao State Universit...
09/10/2025

๐Œ๐’๐”-๐ˆ๐ˆ๐“ ๐ซ๐ž๐ฆ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐  ๐ง๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐งโ€™๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ค๐ฌ ๐Ÿ‘๐ซ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐“๐‡๐„ ๐–๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐”๐ง๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐‘๐š๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”

Mindanao State Universityโ€“Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) remains among the nationโ€™s top universities after ranking third in the Philippines in the 2026 Times Higher Education (THE) World University Rankings.

Published on October 9, 2025, MSU-IIT continues to be the top university in Mindanao and the only institution outside Metro Manila included in the global rankings. Internationally, the university retained its standing within the 1501+ bracket.

Leading this yearโ€™s national ranking is the Ateneo de Manila University (ADMU), followed by the University of the Philippines (UP). Meanwhile, MSU-IIT, De La Salle University (DLSU), Mapรบa University, and the University of Santo Tomas (UST) tied for third place. The ranking, based on teaching, research, international outlook, and industry engagement, highlights MSU-IITโ€™s sustained excellence in education and innovation.

This achievement stands as a testament to the continued pursuit of excellence of MSU-IIT in solidifying its reputation as a world-class institution, driving progress and influencing the future of higher education and research in Mindanao and beyond.

Written by Alvan Tipdas
Layout by Elizah Galibo


๐€๐ƒ๐•๐ˆ๐’๐Ž๐‘๐˜: Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) announces the suspension of classes on Oc...
09/10/2025

๐€๐ƒ๐•๐ˆ๐’๐Ž๐‘๐˜: Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) announces the suspension of classes on October 10, 2025, in celebration of the World Mental Health Day on campus. Student attendance will be checked by respective College Student Councils while faculty and staff will be excused from their regular duties.


๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐‡๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐’๐ฉ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ง: ๐‚๐Ž๐„ ๐„๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ž๐ฐ ๐‚๐’๐‚ ๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌThe results of the 2025 College Student Council (CSC) General Electio...
07/10/2025

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐‡๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐’๐ฉ๐จ๐ค๐ž๐ง: ๐‚๐Ž๐„ ๐„๐ฅ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ž๐ฐ ๐‚๐’๐‚ ๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ

The results of the 2025 College Student Council (CSC) General Elections of the College of Engineering (COE), held on October 2โ€“3, have been officially proclaimed by the Office of Student Development Services (OSDS).

With only one gubernatorial candidate, one vice-gubernatorial candidate, and eight aspiring board members, all positions in the COE College Student Council were won uncontested, resulting in a unanimous victory across all posts in this yearโ€™s polls.

The proclamation formalized the election of Abdul Azis Pandi, a BS Chemical Engineering student, as Governor, and Ray Nino Comendador, a BET Mechanical Engineering student, as Vice Governor, alongside eight newly elected board members comprising the COE Student Council.

Out of 3,342 active voters, the College of Engineering recorded 1,272 ballots cast, marking a 38.06% voter turnout in this yearโ€™s elections.

Caption by Alvan Tipdas
Proofread by Meggs Alexander Tayag
Layout by Audrae Gabriel Trumata


๐“๐ฐ๐จ ๐˜๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐–๐š๐ซ: ๐†๐š๐ณ๐šโ€™๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌTwo years is long enough. That is 731 days of terror, hunger, and unbearable pai...
07/10/2025

๐“๐ฐ๐จ ๐˜๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐–๐š๐ซ: ๐†๐š๐ณ๐šโ€™๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ž๐š๐ซ๐ฌ

Two years is long enough. That is 731 days of terror, hunger, and unbearable pain. And the people of Gaza cannot hold on much longer. They did not deserve this. They never deserved to be casualties of political conflict. They are civiliansโ€”ordinary human beingsโ€”who should be treated as such.

The war on Gaza, which erupted on October 7, 2023, began with a surprise attack by Hamas and other Palestinian militant groups on Israel. This attack, known as "Operation Al-Aqsa Flood," was launched in response to decades of Israeli occupation, the ongoing blockade of the Gaza Strip, desecration of the Al-Aqsa Mosque, and escalating settler violence against Palestinians. In retaliation, Israel launched extensive airstrikes and a ground assault on Gaza as an offense that continues to this day, resulting in widespread devastation and loss of life.

Amid this ongoing conflict and unimaginable suffering, it becomes clear that beyond politics and borders, whatโ€™s truly at stake is the sanctity of human life.

Therefore, my stand is with humanity. It has never been about politics. I stand with peace, with survival, and with the future of children who have witnessed cruelty no child should ever endure. I stand with those who have lost loved ones, homes, and childhood itself.

Yet the world largely remains complacent. Governments continue to hide behind diplomacy with Israel while innocent civilians are starved, bombed, and erased. This cowardice masquerades as โ€œneutrality,โ€ but neutrality in the face of genocide is not neutralityโ€”it is complicity.

I dare you to set aside politics for a moment and look at Gaza for what it is right now.

The truth is undeniable. People are starving, desperate for shelter. Children are hungry, sick, and dying. This is not an exaggeration to provoke sympathy. This is a fact. The United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) warns that children are suffering โ€œunprecedented levelsโ€ of trauma and malnutrition.

Silence is complicity. If you know and yet remain silent, you are guilty of looking away while human beings are exterminated.

As of now, nearly 65,000 Palestinians have been killed since October 7, 2023, according to the United Nations (UN), most of them women and children. U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders reported that over 18,500 children were dead. Al Jazeera media outlet has tallied more than 200 media personnel have been killed. Entire families have been erasedโ€”without names, without graves. Hospitals, schools, and religious buildings have been bombed. Food, water, fuel, and medicine have been weaponized. In August, the UN declared famine in Gaza City, with more than half a million people affected.

Importantly, on September 16 the United Nations Commission of Inquiry has confirmed that Israel has committed genocide in Gaza, carrying out four of the five genocidal acts defined by the 1948 Genocide Convention: killing, causing serious bodily and mental harm, deliberately inflicting conditions of life to bring about destruction, and imposing measures to prevent births. Navi Pillay, chair of the commission, said it plainly: โ€œIt is clear that there is an intent to destroy the Palestinians in Gaza.โ€

These are not abstract claims. These are documented crimes against humanity written in a 72-pages report.

Meanwhile, much of the world debates. Justifies. Look away.

Even humanitarian efforts like the Global Sumud Flotilla, which aimed to bring aid, break the siege, and offer hope, were intercepted repeatedly. That attack was not just on Gaza but on global solidarity itself. The flotilla knew that its chances were slim, yet it carried a far greater message that Gaza has not been forgotten.

Aboard the Global Sumud Flotilla, are independent activists around the world, unaffiliated with any government or political party. They are committed to sail to Gaza as part of the largest maritime mission to break Israel's illegal siege, their allegiance is to justice, freedom, and the sanctity of human life. Boats of all sizes set sail from ports around the world, converging toward Gaza to open a humanitarian corridor by sea.

In September, a global coalition with a delegation from 57 countries attempted to reach Gaza once again. But again, the flotilla, made up of at least 44 civilian boats carrying some 500 activists, was first intercepted late on Wednesday, October 1. Israeli forces allegedly detained activists and passengers on board. Only one boat, Mikeno, successfully broke the blockade and reached Gazaโ€™s watersโ€”a testimony that breakthrough is possible if people act together. Still, several vessels remain en route to Gaza, undeterred by the threats and intimidation of Israel.

This demonstrates that ordinary people are risking their lives to bring humanitarian aid and solidarity. Meanwhile, powerful governments remain silent, or worse, complicit. How could those entrusted with power to protect humanity stand idle while civilians and aid workers are crushed under bombs?

Some will ask: What can I do? Should I starve myself in solidarity? No. Instead, refuse to turn a blind eye. Speak up. Spread the word. Listen to their pleas. Be the bridge that connects Palestinians to the world. Be their eyes, their ears, and their voice for peace and humanity. Because it is a sin to look away.

I appeal for an immediate and permanent ceasefire, an unrestricted humanitarian aid access to Gaza and accountability through the International Criminal Court for crimes of genocide and war.

Anything less is betrayal. Anything less is complicity.

Because every day governments hesitate, more children die. Every day they debate, another family is buried under rubble. Every day they look away, they choose political interests over human lives.

The cry for a Free Palestine is not about politics. It is about humanity. It is about justice. And it is about the future of children who have known nothing but war.

The children of Gaza deserve far more than pity. They deserve life.

As Hani Almadhoun, an organizer at Gaza Soup Kitchen, wrote on Facebook: โ€œMay their [children of Gaza] small hands carry hope instead of heavy cans. May their eyes witness dawns of peace, not nights of fear. May their heart know joy greater than the sorrow they have already seen. They have carried enough. They have suffered enough. May they finally be given the childhood they deserve.โ€

Today, the flag of Palestine is no longer just a flag. It has become a symbol of resilience, dignity, and the fight for humanity itself.

To our governments: stop hiding behind excuses. Stop funding genocide. Stop betraying humanity. Choose peace. Choose justice. Choose life.

Let us remember that the comfort we enjoy is a privilege denied to them. This is not to measure one suffering against another, but to shun ignorance, indifference, and complicity. Turning away because we are not the ones suffering is a betrayal of humanity itself.

Two years is enough. The genocide has to stop.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

Written by Angel Faith Mirayo
Proofread by Meggs Alexander Tayag
Layout by Jemarie Dumanig


๐‰๐”๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐: The College of Engineering recorded a 38.06% voter turnout in the 2025 Kataas-taasang Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aar...
06/10/2025

๐‰๐”๐’๐“ ๐ˆ๐: The College of Engineering recorded a 38.06% voter turnout in the 2025 Kataas-taasang Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aaral (KASAMA) and College Student Council (CSC) General Elections held on October 2โ€“3, 2025, at Mindanao State Universityโ€“Iligan Institute of Technology.

At the university level, a total of 4,258 ballots were cast out of 11,908 active voters, reflecting a 35.76% overall turnout for the KASAMA elections.

All positions in both KASAMA and CSC were won uncontested, resulting in a unanimous victory across all posts in this yearโ€™s polls.


๐Œ๐’๐”-๐’๐€๐’๐„ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ž๐ฑ๐š๐ฆ ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ซ๐-๐›๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌThis year's MSU-SASE shattered records with 64,669 tota...
05/10/2025

๐Œ๐’๐”-๐’๐€๐’๐„ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ ๐›๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ž๐ฑ๐š๐ฆ ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ซ๐-๐›๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ

This year's MSU-SASE shattered records with 64,669 total registrants and 61,183 accepted applicants. Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Technology (MSU-IIT) also experienced a historic surge, with 20,656 students choosing it as their preferred campusโ€”a 21.48% increaseโ€”further solidifying the Institute's soaring reputation.
After months of preparation, aspirants enter the exam halls with sharpened minds and courageous hearts. Give it your all, trust in yourselves, and know you have everyone's support.

Best of luck to all SASE takers! A roaring welcome awaits our future iskolars ng bayan!

Layout by Jemarie Dumanig


๐๐š ๐๐š๐ซ๐š ๐๐š๐ง๐ โ€ฆ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข?Tumatagos na ang init sa aking bintana. Ang bilis ng orasโ€”parang umidlip lang ako nang ila...
03/10/2025

๐๐š ๐๐š๐ซ๐š ๐๐š๐ง๐ โ€ฆ

๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข?

Tumatagos na ang init sa aking bintana. Ang bilis ng orasโ€”parang umidlip lang ako nang ilang minuto.

Dalawang oras lang pala ang tulog ko.

Napatingin ako sa aking lamesa: nagkalat ang mga papel na iba-iba ang kulay ng mga letra, mga ballpen na walang takip, at isang tasang kape na kalahati pa ang laman. Hindi ko namalayan na nakaidlip na pala ako.

Humikab ako. Gusto ko pang matulog, pero hindi puwede. Kaunti na lang ang natitirang oras, at kailangan kong mag-review. May exam ako mamaya. Mamaya na lang ako babawi ng tulog.

Nag-unat ako, nanghilamos ng mukha, nagsepilyo, saka nagtimpla ng panibagong kape.

Habang hawak ang reviewer, bigla kong naisip: sapat na sig**o ito. Nakinig naman ako sa klase, nabasa ko na ito nang ilang ulit, at kahit paano, naiintindihan ko naman. Ano pa ba ang dapat kong gawin?

Pero sa kabila ng kumpiyansa, muli kong ibinalik ang aking atensyon sa papel. Kasi hindi ako matalino. Hindi rin mayaman.

Ang tanging sandata ko lang ay magsikap.

Kailangan kong magtagumpay. Para sa sarili. Para sa aking mga magulang na araw-araw nagbabalat ng buto para sa aking allowance. Wala akong karapatang magsayang ng oras.

At dumating na nga ang tunog ng aking alarm. Minuto na lang, exam na namin.

Mabilis akong naligo, nagbihis, at umalis papuntang paaralan, dala-dala ang reviewer. Habang naglalakad, sinusulit ko pa ang bawat hakbang para ulitin sa isip ang mga leksyon.

Pagdating sa silid-exam, tumambol ang dibdib ko. Marahil dahil sa kaba, marahil dahil sa kape. ๐˜’๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ. ๐˜’๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ข ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ โ€˜๐˜ต๐˜ฐ.

Naupo ako, puno ng pag-asa. Nilaan ko ang isang linggo para rito. Maraming oras ang aking isinakripisyo, maraming pagkakataong dapat sanaโ€™y panglibang pero piniling magbabad sa reviewer. ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฐ, sabi ko sa sarili.

Dumating ang g**o, nagbigay ng instructions, at ipinamigay ang exam paper. Umusal ako ng mahinang dasal bago sinimulang magsagot.

Ngunit habang lumilipas ang minuto, para akong nauupos na kandila. Bakit parang hindi ito ang inaral ko? Bakit hindi ko maalala? Paano ko ba ito kakalkulahin?

Parang lumulutang ako sa dagat ng mga tanong, at unti-unting nilalamon ng alon. Hanggang sa natapos na lang ang oras, at nakatitig pa rin ako sa papel na para bangโ€ฆ ang pangalan ko lang ang naisulat kong tama.

โ€œ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜บ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ช?โ€ tanong ko sa sarili.

Nasaan ang mga inaral ko? Ang mga oras na ginugol na nakatungo sa mesa? Ang mga pag-asang buo kong itinaya?

Pag-uwi ko, bumagsak ako sa k**a. Pero wala ang antok. Ang dumalaw ay lungkotโ€”lungkot na may halong panghihinayang, sama ng loob, at paninisi.

Napapatanong ako: ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜บ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ช? ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ? ๐˜‰๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ช ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ? ๐˜‰๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ข-๐˜ฌ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฐ, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ข ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜บ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ?

At doon ko napagtanto: hindi sapat ang panandaliang sipag. Hindi sapat ang sandamakmak na kape. Hindi sapat ang umaasang puso kung kulang sa konsistensiya at disiplina.

Masakit. Nakakawala ng gana. Na parang bangโ€ฆ bigong laban.

Pero sa ilalim ng sakit na iyon, may bahagyang ting: Hindi dito nagtatapos.

โ€œ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต,โ€ sabi nga nila. At baka nga tama. Hindi ako perpekto, pero pwede akong bumangon muli.

Hindi para maging pinak**atalino, kundi para manatiling matatag.

Kaya sabi ko sa sarili: โ€œ๐˜ˆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ. ๐˜”๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ. ๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.โ€

At pinikit ko ang mga mata. Hindi para takasan ang kabiguan, kundi para magpahingaโ€”para makapagsimulang muli kinabukasan.

Na para bangโ€ฆ bukas, may pag-asa pa rin.

Na para bangโ€ฆ kahit bumagsak ako ngayon, may pagkakataon pa akong bumangon.

Na para bangโ€ฆ ang sugat ng gabi ay maghihilom din sa umaga.

At sana nga.

Written by Angel Faith Mirayo
Illustration by Quimverly Jadman
Layout by Kathleen Ocaรฑa


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