10/06/2025
MY LIFE'S PUZZLE: PIECES OF THE PAST
Ang buhay ay isang serye ng mga kabanata, bawat isa ay may sariling mga pagsubok at tagumpay. Ang aking kwento ay nagsimula noong 2020, sa gitna ng pandemya. Napilitan akong itigil ang aking pag-aaral dahil sa pagkawala ng trabaho ng aking mga magulang. Ang online classes ay hindi ko na kinaya; naramdaman ko ang pagsasayang ng oras at pera nila. Ngunit hindi ito ang katapusan ng aking kwento. Nagtrabaho ako pagkatapos ng pandemya, inilaan ang lahat ng aking kinita para sa aking mga pangangailangan at luho. Sa kabila ng pagod at pressure, nagkasakit ako. Maraming trabaho na ang sinubukan ko, hinahanap ang aking angkop na lugar, at patuloy ko pa ring hinahanap iyon ngayon. This journey, though filled with hardship, has been a crucible, forging me into a stronger, more resilient individual.
Life has a way of testing us, pushing us to our limits, and forcing us to confront our vulnerabilities. I faced the realities of life at a young age, the weight of responsibilities falling on my shoulders much earlier than expected. We weren't wealthy, but Iâm grateful for my parents' love and support. Their presence, and the unwavering loyalty of my friends, have been my guiding lights throughout the darkest of times. Volleyball, my refuge, has been my sanctuary, a place where I can forget my worries and just be.
Beyond the financial struggles, there's a deeper, more personal struggle Iâve carriedâthe pain of feeling unloved and unseen within my own family. We're only two siblings, yet the feeling of not being fully seen or loved as much as my sibling has been a constant companion. I learned early on to rely on myself, avoiding asking for anything from my parents, fearing the potential negativity. Instead, I worked hard to buy the things I wanted. It's a heavy burden to carry, the weight of unspoken expectations and the sting of unacknowledged worth.
The pain of not being a favorite child runs deeper than words can express. It's the silent ache in your heart, the constant questioning of your value. It's the subtle slights, the overlooked efforts, the feeling of being perpetually on the periphery. It's the yearning for that unconditional love and acceptance, the desire to be seen and cherished for who you are, not just for what you can do. This experience has taught me the importance of seeking emotional support from those who truly value you, filling the void left by those closest to you.
This isn't just limited to family. In friendships, too, I've often found myself on the sidelines, the last choice, sometimes not even a choice at all. The sting of not being a priority, of being overlooked, is a familiar pain. But I've learned to navigate these challenges, finding strength in my resilience and gratitude for the genuine connections I do have. It's a testament to my strength, my ability to find joy amidst the pain, to find value in my own worth, irrespective of external validation.
Then there's the story of my past relationship, a love that pushed me to my limits, a love that led me to make choices I regret. I loved him deeply, unconditionally, a love that transcended societal norms and expectations. I was accepted by his family, a testament to the sincerity of my love, but he betrayed my trust, choosing another. It was a painful lesson, a heartbreak that left me questioning my worth and my ability to love.
The experience left me traumatized, a scar on my heart that serves as a reminder of the pain of unrequited love. I gave him everything, only to be left with nothing. I made mistakes, choices I deeply regret, choices born out of a desperate need for love and acceptance. But from the ashes of that heartbreak, I emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Iâm grateful for the lessons learned, for the growth experienced, and for the healing that has followed.
Iâve moved on, embracing a life of solitude, a life free from the heartache and drama of past relationships. Iâve found happiness in my independence, in the freedom to pursue my passions and dreams without the constraints of a relationship. Itâs a journey of self-discovery, a journey of healing and self-acceptance. Iâm surrounded by genuine friends and family who love and support me unconditionally.
And then there's volleyball, my constant companion, my source of strength and inspiration. It's more than just a sport; it's a community, a family. Itâs where I learned to socialize, to overcome my anxieties, and to step out of my introverted shell. The camaraderie, the shared passion, the thrill of competition â itâs a world where I feel seen, appreciated, and loved.
In volleyball, I found a place where I belong, a place where I'm not just a son or a friend, but a teammate, a competitor, a person valued for my skills and contributions. It's a space where I can express myself freely, where my worth is not questioned, and where I'm surrounded by people who genuinely care. It's a powerful reminder that even in the face of adversity, there are always places where we can find belonging, where we can feel loved and accepted for who we are.
And then there are the friends who have shown me unwavering support, who have made me feel like I'm a priority, despite my flaws and toxic tendencies at times. Their love and acceptance have been a lifeline, a reminder that I'm worthy of love and friendship, irrespective of my perceived shortcomings. Their kindness has filled the void left by those who haven't fully seen my worth. Their friendship is a gift I cherish deeply.
Despite the challenges, Iâm grateful. Grateful for the lessons learned, for the strength Iâve gained, and for the unwavering support of those who truly see me. Iâm grateful for my parents, for providing for me, for giving me life. Iâm grateful for my friends, for their love and acceptance. And Iâm grateful for volleyball, for teaching me resilience, self-belief, and the importance of community.
Life's journey is not always easy, but it's a journey worth taking. Embrace the challenges, learn from your mistakes, and never stop believing in yourself. You are stronger than you think, more capable than you know, and more loved than you realize. Never give up on your dreams, and always remember that you are worthy of love, happiness, and success. Your story is unique, your struggles are valid, and your strength is undeniable.
I still have many dreams, and I know God has a plan for me. I'm waiting for the right moment, enjoying the journey, embracing the challenges, and celebrating the victories along the way. My past experiences, though painful at times, have shaped me into the person I am todayâstronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.
This is my story, a story of resilience, of hope, and of unwavering faith in myself and in a brighter future. It's a story of overcoming adversity, of finding strength in vulnerability, and of embracing the beauty of imperfection. It's a story that I hope will inspire others to never give up on their dreams, to never lose faith in themselves, and to always remember that they are worthy of love, happiness, and success.
