22/01/2025
I know everything happens for a reason, and this is my fair share.
Raising a child with special needs is not a joke. It's twice the 9-5 job. It really is very exhausting. This is a very huge responsibility that we have to carry- a lifetime care. Very different from the usual setup.
There were times that I thought this was my punishment. Punishment from what? From being a bad daughter to my parents? From being a bad person to others? From making bad decisions in life? I don't know.
And I'm not gonna lie, I questioned God why it happened to us. Why would my son suffer all this? He did not deserve this kind of life. He has nothing to do with all of my wrong doings in life, or with all of my failures. He should have lived normally.
Every night, I kept thinking of how things would be if my son was born normally. I always have pictured out of a child running around the house, singing his heart out, dancing like there's no tomorrow, or maybe he'll be a smart kid. But that's just an old fantasy. I have accepted our fate. He's gonna live his life with his dependence from us.
But then, at the back of my mind, my child is not less than of a person despite his inabilities. He is a unique one. He is an amazing baby. He is very special.
I always have put all my worries to God. I realized, I prayed for this child. I begged and cried to Him to let me have my son. I have sworn to Him to take good care of our little warrior.
God has plans for us- better plans. I trust Him with all of my heart and faith. I'm never losing faith that my son will be healed.
I know everything happens for a reason. I may not understand it yet, but soon I will.
