04/11/2025
I’ve spent the last three days in a place I’ve known my whole life, yet somehow every room feels different now. I’m packing up Mom’s house, sorting through drawer after drawer, cabinet after cabinet, and what I expected to be a practical task — just boxing things up and labeling them — has turned into something much heavier. It turns out it’s not the furniture or the dishes or the framed pictures that undo you. It’s the unexpected things. The small, almost invisible touches left behind by the person who loved the place before you did.
Like the light switch covers.
I never noticed them growing up — not really. They were just part of the room, the kind of thing you don’t pay attention to because you’re so used to seeing them you stop really seeing them at all. But today, while unplugging the toaster and rolling up the worn-out kitchen rug, I went to remove the outlet plate near the counter, and that’s when it hit me — the soft shimmer of the paint. Gold, like a fleck of sunlight. Tiny touches of brown and bronze. Not solid, not store-bought. But layered. Detailed. Purposeful.
I took it off the wall and held it closer, and that’s when I remembered.
Mom painted them.
All of them.
Every single outlet cover in the kitchen.
She didn’t just buy whatever matched. She didn’t settle for the plain white ones the store stocked in bulk. She sat at this table — tired from working late shifts, apron still on, paintbrushes laid over a paper towel — and she matched every fleck in the granite countertop she saved almost two years to afford. I remember walking in on her late at night, thinking she was doing something unnecessary and slow and too careful. I probably teased her. Told her, “Nobody’s gonna notice that.”
She just smiled, dipped a toothpick in gold paint, and said,
“It doesn’t matter if they notice. It matters that it’s done with love.”
That was her line for everything — the hand-painted bookshelf, the curtains she sewed from scratch, the flower pots she kept patching instead of replacing. It wasn’t that she loved things. It was that she loved turning things into something better, something warmer, something that reflected the people who lived there.
Especially when we didn’t have much.
There was a time when she had every excuse to give up on beauty — when Dad left and the money was barely enough to cover bills, when she worked three jobs and still made sure we ate a real dinner every night, when she clipped coupons and stretched leftovers and still found time to decorate a room like it meant something. I remember thinking she did all that because she cared about the house.
Now I realize she did it because she cared about us.
That’s the part nobody tells you about losing a parent: you don’t just lose the person. You lose the rhythm of their presence. The little sounds they made in a room. The way they walked. The things they touched that nobody noticed but them.
These outlet plates — the ones I never thought twice about — are suddenly the loudest things in the house. They’re her voice, saying what she always said:
“Love lives in the details. If you choose not to rush, everything can become beautiful.”
I keep walking room to room, and it’s the same thing everywhere — threads of her, hiding in the corners.
The drawer liners with little birds printed on them — she picked those because she said “Even silverware deserves something pretty.”
The mug hooks under the cabinet — installed late one night because she couldn’t stand the clutter but refused to buy one of those plastic stands.
The pencil marks on the laundry room wall where she measured our height every year, even after we were grown, because she said “We never stop growing, just in different ways.”
I used to roll my eyes. I used to think she took too long to do everything. I thought she overcomplicated things. Why paint something nobody sees? Why sew something nobody asks for? Why care so much about a house when life is already so hard?
But here I am, crying over outlet plates, because they aren’t just painted — they’re proof.
Proof that she didn’t just survive life — she poured herself into it.
And now I have to decide what stays and what goes.
Most things I can let go of. Clothes, bedding, old receipts, even some furniture. But not the painted plates. Not the hand-carved wooden spoon she used to stir soup. Not the chipped ceramic bowl she always used for pancake batter. Not the tiny, perfect signs of her stubborn belief that ordinary things deserve care.
So I did something that felt right.
I went online and found a woman who makes memorial shadow boxes — someone who works with objects instead of ashes, with sentimental things instead of statements. I sent her a message, told her about Mom, sent her photos of the switch plate and her kitchen. I asked if she could build a display around it — something that felt like a tribute to a woman who never wanted to be the centerpiece, just the hands in the background holding everything together.
She wrote back:
“I would be honored. This is exactly the kind of love people forget to document.”
And I think that’s what’s breaking me the most — how easy it is to forget the things that actually held a life together. The little gestures nobody praises. The late-night touch-ups nobody sees. The way people turn a house into safety using nothing but patience and paint.
Some people leave legacies in books and speeches and big accomplishments.
My mother left hers in outlet plates.
And somehow, that feels bigger.
Because it means love doesn’t need a stage. It doesn’t need applause. It just needs intention — tiny, quiet, repeated acts that accumulate into something lasting.
Every time I pull another plate off the wall, I whisper,
“I see it now, Mom. I really do.”
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love things the way she did — not just fiercely, but gently. Not loudly, but deeply. But I know this much:
I will never again overlook the small things.
Because that’s where she lived her whole life.
In the fingerprints on the details.
In the care no one thanked her for.
In the beauty no one realized they were standing on.
Miss you every day, Mom.
Your little touches didn’t just make things beautiful.
They made us feel loved.