23/06/2026
Six months have passed since you left, but some days it still feels like yesterday. This is a letter from my heart to the man I will always love. ❤️
An Open Letter to My Beloved Husband
I miss you so much.
I miss how you would wait outside my workplace just to make sure I got home safely. Even before we had children, you never let me go home alone.
I miss how you would massage my back whenever I was tired, even when you were exhausted yourself. I miss how you would cut and manicure my nails whenever they got too long because I forgot to do it myself. I miss your cooking - the way you would surprise me with dishes you experimented with, and somehow they always turned out delicious. You did all of those things without me ever having to ask.
I miss our late-night conversations. We would talk for hours until midnight, completely losing track of time.
I miss your voice calling my name
You took care of everything for me. With you, I felt loved, protected, and cherished. You made me feel like a queen.
I think about you everywhere I go -in church, at the mall, in restaurants, and worst of all, in our home. Every corner of this house holds memories of you. How can I move on when everything reminds me of us? 😞
One of the things that hurts me the most is realizing that I was so focused on my job that I didn't notice how much pain you were enduring. I never gave you the chance to tell me how much you were suffering, and that will always be one of my biggest regrets. I wish I had asked. I wish I had known.
After you died, I pretended that I was okay and that I could handle everything. But as each day passes, my loneliness grows deeper. It's dragging me down and affecting every part of my life. It even affected my job, and now I am unemployed. For the past two and a half months, I've been staying at home, wondering why this happened to me. I keep questioning myself, What did I do wrong to experience this? Do I deserve to suffer like this? 😓
It's really hard when your biggest enemy is your own mind.
I feel stuck in a loop, doing the same things every day. The only thing I truly look forward to is sleep because that's where I can still see you. In my dreams, we talk, laugh, and cuddle as if nothing ever happened. But the moment I wake up, reality comes crashing back. You're not there. I'm alone again.
I know it's been six months since you left us, and I'm still here hoping that somehow this is all just a dream.
Still, I know I need to keep moving forward because our daughters need me. I can't stay here forever, trapped in my grief. But deep inside, I know you wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life drowning in sadness.
I need to accept that you are truly gone. I need to find the strength to move forward, not because I have forgotten you, but because our daughters still need their mother. They deserve to see me smile again. They deserve to have a future filled with hope.
Please know that no matter how much time passes, you will always be a part of me. Your love, your kindness, and the beautiful memories we shared will stay in my heart forever.
I miss you every day, and I always will.
Until we meet again in God's perfect time.
I love you,
Buhat Rocky ❤️
