20/10/2025
I don’t really know why it’s so hard to receive love. Maybe it’s just me maybe I’ve grown too used to being the one who gives. I see how easy it looks for others, how they hold each other without fear, how love flows back to them like it was never meant to be questioned. But for me, it always feels like I’m the one who tries a little harder, who listens a little longer, who stays even when things get heavy. And maybe that’s okay, but some nights it quietly aches that small wish of wanting to feel the same kind of warmth I keep giving.
It’s strange how you can be surrounded by someone’s presence yet feel like a ghost in your own kind of love. I don’t say it, because maybe it’s just overthinking again that habit of feeling too much, too soon. But sometimes, I find myself looking for small signs… a word, a gesture, something that says “I feel you too.” Maybe that’s why I stay quiet. Because I’d rather stay silent than sound like I’m asking for too much, when all I’ve ever wanted is something real, even if it’s quiet.
Maybe love isn’t about balance, maybe it’s just about holding on to what you believe in. And I do I believe in her, in what we have, in what could still be. Even when it feels uneven, I still find myself hoping it’s just a phase, that maybe one day she’ll see the way I try, even in silence. Not because I want anything back right away, but because I just want her to understand that everything I give comes from a place that never learned how to stop caring.
So I stay soft, steady, and maybe a little too quiet. I don’t ask for much, just a moment where love feels like it’s finally meeting me halfway. Maybe it’s not time yet, maybe it’s not supposed to be loud. But I hope someday, when she looks back, she’ll see it the unspoken ways I reached for her, even when words failed me. And maybe then, she’ll understand that all I ever wanted was for love to come back, even just a little, in her own way.
