21/09/2025
LITERARY | A Friend, Always Will Be.
𝘔𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥
𝘖𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥?
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?
At first, I was unsure of what I felt towards you. I kept it a secret so that no one would ever know. How many times have I tried to deny every fleeting thought, every wild delusion, because deep down, I knew I would never stand a chance with someone like you. To you, I was simply a friend — just a friend — and I told myself that was all I would ever be.
Every moment with you feels surreal, it's like a dream I would never want to wake from. It feels like a melting butter as I soften in your embrace, and every time we stare our longing glances — I just fell faster and harder, as I loved you.
𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
(𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘳 - 𝘛𝘢𝘺𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵)
Near, but out of reach. Here I am beside you, laughing as we exchange our sweet glances — as I wonder if those glances carry something, because every time this moment happens, it seems I'm falling into an endless abyss of your amber eyes.
As night falls, I always end up reminiscing about the moment that lingers — it was as if my whole body was about to take flight in sheer joy. However, those immense happiness would end up as I remember that your heart beats fast when you're with her.
I breathed out a sigh. Heavy with dismay.
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥
𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦
(𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 - 𝘖𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘢 𝘙𝘰𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘰)
No remorse, only altruistic love. I'll do whatever it takes just so I can call you mine — no matter the cost, I'll do it with pure selflessness and genuineness. With this, I can make you feel what I feel toward you, thinking that you'll need me not just as a friend, but as a necessity.
Even so, no matter what I do, making you fall in love with me is nothing more than a delusion — a foolish fantasy, naive reverie. I look at myself in the mirror, thinking about whether what I am doing is still right. I asked.
Do I still need to crawl for your attention when you scarcely notice my existence at all?
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩
(𝘈𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 - 𝘈𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦)
I knew from the start that this would never work — I felt trapped by these stupid dreams. It wasn't a matter of almost or never enough, but rather that you can't just force someone to love you the way you loved them.
No matter how much you squeeze yourself, trying to fit their preferences, they will always leave you unattended and behind. They need you because you’re a necessity — just a need, not a want.
The realization hits diff.
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦
𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘵, 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴?
(𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦 - 𝘕𝘐𝘒𝘐)
I'll always be your safety net — I'll catch you whenever you fall. With this, would you do the same? Certainly not. Some say taking the risk is better than losing the chance — but for me, losing the chance is better than taking the risk, knowing that the answer is losing both the chance and a friend.
I thought of confessing my feelings; however, even a thousand possibilities would lead to the same fate — you and I would never be as one. In the end.
𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯,
𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶,
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.
𝘚𝘰 𝘐’𝘮 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.
𝘼𝙣 𝙐𝙣𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥.
Written by ✍🏻: Ishi
Illustration by 🖌️: Georgie Basoy
