01/06/2026
🚨 So let me get this straight…
The man who lied to you.
Cheated on you.
Messaged every woman who gave him attention.
Called you names when you confronted him.
Emotionally and verbally abused you when he was caught…
Goes to therapy and comes back saying:
“I have high emotional dependency on you.”
Interesting.
Because that emotional dependency seemed strangely absent when he was entertaining other women, crossing boundaries, hiding conversations, and risking the very relationship he now claims he couldn’t live without.
Now, let’s be clear:
Emotional dependency can absolutely exist. Some people do become overly reliant on their partner for validation, comfort, or emotional regulation.
But emotional dependency is not the same thing as love.
And it certainly isn’t an excuse for betrayal.
What often happens in these situations is that the focus quietly shifts away from the harm caused and onto the suffering of the person who caused it.
This is where DARVO can sometimes show up:
Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender.
The original issue was the lying.
The cheating.
The deception.
But suddenly the narrative becomes:
“I’m struggling.”
“I’m dependent on you.”
“I’m the one who’s hurting.”
And before you know it, you’re comforting the person who shattered your trust while your own pain gets pushed to the side.
The question isn’t whether he feels dependent on you.
The question is whether his behaviour demonstrates respect, accountability, honesty, and genuine change (which was never the case with my ex, it was just an excuse to continue being abusive when I pulled away).
Because dependency without integrity isn’t safety.
And words without changed behaviour are just another way to keep you emotionally invested.
💬 Have you ever had someone explain their behaviour with a label or diagnosis while completely avoiding accountability for the damage they caused? Comment ACCOUNTABILITY below.
