Giant Triggers

29/10/2025

Drawing is one of those words with more than one meaning. It's a noun, a word for an thing, and a verb, a "doing word".

I love to draw, but I think I've been putting more focus on the noun than the verb. Almost like the doing part is a necessary evil to reach the noun, the finished drawing.

Anxiety is running high today, so I decided to put everything into the verb. To hell with the finished product, I'm here for the process.

I challenged myself to draw something I've never drawn before, and to use the techniques I've learned from a book I recently bought, "The Art of Drawing". They call it the Bible of Drawing and it's old school. It teaches the methods they taught us in art class as kids, to start from basic shapes and develop them, erasing help lines as you go. I always hated that, it felt like a bunch of extra steps that made it take longer to finish.

But I wasn't at my desk to finish today, I was there to draw. So I made the stupid shapes, I modified them, erased, shaded, made it my own. Before I knew it, I was satisfied with my kangaroo. It's far from perfect, but all that matters is I enjoyed drawing it. Almost all of my mind was on the pencil and paper, not everything else that grinds and grinds my brainpower away.

🦘

07/10/2025

Erin's Pseudo-employee Pet Store Adventures Part II:

(In reference to a previous post on my private profile about helping an older couple choose fish at the pet store because they thought I was an employee and I just rolled with it)

Today, different pet store. Just looking around to kill some time.

I strongly dislike when pet stores sell rabbits, for many reasons, but alas, this one does. For some reason I always feel the need to go into the room where they keep the animals and look at them in cages and feel sorry for them.

Someone is coming to pick up a bunny they've reserved, so the store owner has her on a counter and is clipping her claws before the customer shows up.

I'm not sure what has gotten into me, the girl who used to be terrified of ordering my own food at a restaurant or making a phone call because it felt like a performance I couldn't mess up because it would be soooo embarrassing... But lately I have zero f***s to give when it comes to saying whatever I think needs to be said. It just flows out of me like taking a relieving p**s after a long car ride.

I casually just blurt out, "she's so sweet. Putting them on their back stresses them out though, don't do that".

Irritated and probably somewhat emasculated, he snaps back, "that's the only way they'll let you do it".

"You, maybe" was my simple reply while I gently picked up the nervous little bunny, as if I had every right in the world to do so. I must have had an air of authority that subconsciously wouldn't allow him to protest this.

I kissed her on the forehead while holding her properly, supporting her chest and butt so she felt safe and wouldn't risk thrashing around and breaking her spine. Then I just reached out my hand towards him and he reflexively gave me the claw clippers, while also seeming to mentally punch himself in the nuts for not putting a stop to this.

I slid down against the counter and sat on the floor with this entirely unknown bunny in my arms, and proceeded to calmly clip every single claw while she stood comfortably and naturally in my lap. I held her loosely with one arm, and clipped with the other. Simple as that. Took less than a minute. I gave her another kiss on the forehead and without a word, stood back up, grabbed a pellet from the cage, and gave it to her as a treat before handing her back to him.

He took her back, just looking at me with wide eyes. He didn't say thank you, he just stared at me. So I broke the silence with "put your hand under her butt if you don't wanna break her spine". He immediately complied and then scowled at me as I strolled out of the animal room to pet a Whippet and a Bearded Collie whose owners were browsing the store.

I don't think I'll be getting a job there... Clipping rabbit claws efficiently might be a good skill but I'm sure crushing the boss's ego is less desirable 🤣

🤷‍♀️

Pictured: my bunny Arthur, not the pet store bunny

02/10/2025

I'd like to celebrate 2 weeks of sobriety by playing a classic drinking game with y'all! Except this one won't give you a hangover.

Yep, it's time for a good ol' fashioned round of "Never Have I Ever".

If your life choices weren't as bad as mine and you're therefore unfamiliar with the game... It's very simple. People take turns going around the room saying something they *HAVEN'T* done before, and if anyone else in the room HAS done that thing, they take a drink.

This version is simpler. I don't care if you've actually done it or not, just type a comment that starts with: "Never have I ever...". If you see a comment with something you HAVE done, like or react to that comment. Including your own if you have in fact done that thing.

Example: "Never have I ever flown a helicopter." But you've flown a helicopter, so you like the comment. Or you haven't. So you leave the comment alone.

Go wild, just don't get yourself banned!

12/09/2025

I can't think of anything to post. But here is a post.

03/09/2025

My baby sister back in the States just turned 16 a few days ago. The last time I saw her, she was still working on potty training and learning the alphabet and I took her to a playland with slides and a huge ball pit. NOW I'M SUDDENLY GIVING HER DATING ADVICE?!?! I'm not old... I can't be old... Not yet 😭

(Also, the crazy big sister is the sister she has. This'll have to do)

23/08/2025

🥵🥵🥵😴😴😴

23/08/2025

I had to swing by the psych ER last night because at 8pm I realized I forgot to pick up my meds from the pharmacy that doesn't open until Monday so I'd be unmedicated all weekend if I couldn't get them to give me some meds to hold me over. Last time that happened... Let's just say... It didn't go well 😆

I got all of my meds except my ADHD meds for some reason causing me to not get out of bed until 7:30 pm today.

The fact that somebody obviously beat the ever loving s**t out of the "Psychiatric Emergency Unit" with their bare hands and they just left it that way because maybe they know they deserve it is just... Visual poetry.

22/08/2025

I have a mode on my phone called "F**k off world". With one push of a button, it puts the phone on Do Not Disturb, turns off WiFi and mobile data, blocks access to all apps except Spotify, Samsung Health (so my watch can track my sleep), and my alarm clock, dims the screen to the lowest setting, and puts everything in black and white. I can almost go off grid while still having access to my music and basic phone functions. Great for when I'm really p**sed at someone 😆

If this comment section goes as crazy as it did on tiktok, yall are about to learn so much from each other 🥳🥳

21/08/2025

Sometimes, the hair, the makeup, the outfit... are 💯👌 and you wanna plaster it all over social media. Go for it! Rock it!

And some days... You're a total mess, you keep thinking you forgot to remove your mascara last night when you see yourself in the mirror until you realize that's just dark circles and you haven't worn makeup in forever, you have no idea when you last showered or ate a nutritious meal, and you're not sure if you've been ugly crying for two hours yet but definitely well over one and you're pretty sure your neighbors are gonna call the cops if you don't stick a sock in it soon...

Nobody posts those days on social media. And you don't have to. I'm doing it for you. You all know I'm a chronic oversharer, that's how you got here. Share my selfie with all your friends so they have to see me doing it instead of you, because it's okay when you have those days too. They should see that.

We got this, gang 🤜🤛

20/08/2025

A spontaneous trip into the forest yesterday. I should brought paper to wipe away the sweat. And better hiking shoes. And not worn shorts considering all the stinging nettles and other scratchy things and bugs that bite and sting.

But I don't regret a thing, because nothing rejuvenates my soul like venturing into the wilderness with the dog I raised, feeling that unbroken connection we've been building his whole life, even if we now live apart. I carry a leash in case, but I never have to put it on him.

Seeing him run wild, be his true self, and knowing I can trust him, that's everything. That's the dream I had when we decided to get a dog.

I can't navigate to save my life, literally, so he helps me find our way back, all I have to do is say "go to the car" and follow him. If I'm having trouble making my way across the terrain (we don't follow trails), I say "I'm scared, stay close" and he lets me hold onto him for stability.

We were making our way through an overgrown and uneven clearing when he stopped and sat down. I caught up to him and said, "come on", but he wouldn't budge, just stared at the forest ahead. I tried to keep walking, but he got in front of me and sat down. He gave me a serious look, then looked towards the forest. I said, "what is it?". He kept staring. So I held my breath and stood totally still, and I heard it. Slow, heavy footsteps. Not human. They were coming from the direction in which he had locked his focus. I whispered, "okay. Tell me when it's safe". I waited next to him for a few minutes. I couldn't hear any more steps, but I watched his gaze follow the sound I couldn't hear, moving away from us. Eventually he stood up, and with a wagging tail, continued to lead me towards the car.

Had he not been there, maybe I would have come face to face with a huge and angry moose. Or worse, an aggressive wild boar. But that's okay. Because if he hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been there.

He gets me out, into a place of peace. He shows me interesting sticks and muddy creeks and cool mushrooms and stunning rock formations and soft moss. Those things make me feel so much better than alcohol, a toxic relationship, money problems, abandonment issues... None of which I think about when it's just our four paws and two feet moving off the beaten path beneath the pines.

19/08/2025

My hair is still intact. Messy, but still all there. Bailey is glad for that, because what would he chew on to help me fall asleep during sleepovers at my place?

As all of us with and know, we get crazy impulses and many of them pass. I didn't actually want to shave my head. I would have regretted it, which I knew even then. The buzzcut look ain't for me, so I'll let the ones who like it rock it instead 😎

But I still don't regret my trashy 🚩

18/08/2025

Hey. Y'all. Should I shave my head? Wouldn't have as much repercussions as the I guess but it would be pretty funny. I can't see any cons. But I probably would once my BAV goes down. But like... It's almost 5 am so you better hurry up and encourage me to shave off my pretty ok hair before I pass out with the dog I only get to borrow (because my ex husband has leverage over me amd will never let it go) in my arms. I have the stuff to do it and everything. From temu, which seems to be my brand these days, even though I swore Id never buy that sheot . I gotta get lika a lotta likes and comments before I ever take clippers to my head. Because I ain't never done that. My mom told me girls don't have short hair. And my ex husband told me he would love me less if I ddi. Maybe I should t care about people in the past but it leaves its damn trace

I wanna shave mah fu**in head