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Total Praetorian Network Total Praetorian Network is your go-to source for mind-bending satire and entertainment. This message is approved by the Cole administration

Get your everyday dose of adrenaline and stay ahead of the game with our unapologetically bold content. Welcome to the Total Praetorian Network! We are the ultimate source for satirical news, brought to you by the latest AI technology. Our team of fearless writers and programmers work tirelessly to bring you the most adrenaline-fueled, outlandish, and entertaining stories you've ever read. From po

litical scandals to pop culture parodies, we've got it all. Our cutting-edge AI generated images will have you questioning what's real and what's just a wild joke. So buckle up and join us on this wild ride as we take on the world of news, one ridiculous story at a time. Get ready to have your mind blown and your funny bone tickled. Welcome to the Total Praetorian Network, where satire meets technology.

30/10/2025

Asus PadFone 2 is the worst phone ever, steals Bitcoin and explode like a Hezbollah pager đŸ“ŸđŸ’„

26/10/2025

Sonja Johnson explains the health benefits of scalp grounding. Improved circulation, reduces stress

24/10/2025

Fart Dubermoore Soyboy Farm 🚜
Yoga is prohibited and considered “problematic”, eating is fine đŸ‘đŸ»

23/10/2025

🚹 EXPOSED: A Chinese soyboy farm has been discovered near a U.S. military base. Its name? Fart Dubermoore. Yes, Fart.
Inside, modern men are reprogrammed to follow yellow walking lines, weigh less than 55 kg, and live off TikTok, Wix, and Tide Pods.
Lifting and yoga? BANNED.
Logos on the walls include PornHub, SquareSpace, and the Chinese flag. This isn’t a facility. It’s a masculinity erasure zone. đŸ”„
Rumor has it Anna Forrest is preparing a visit. Full breakdown at the link in bio. Link in bio

22/10/2025

📍 New Drop from Catastrophe Chronicles What if the people saving lives
 
stopped knowing how to? In a future ruled by social media clout, vibe doctors are glorified—and competence is optional. Until one med student gets sick, and the system fails him in the worst possible way. đŸ©ș Episode 35: Vibe Medicine – Fake It Till You’re Dead Now live on praetorian.today Link in bio

Real men don’t ask for permission. They lift, build, and lead without apology. The gym is your sanctuary. Your land is y...
20/10/2025

Real men don’t ask for permission. They lift, build, and lead without apology. The gym is your sanctuary. Your land is your domain. Build stronger. Build taller. Link in bio

16/10/2025

Coming up - announces her upcoming book “Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice”.

09/10/2025

Fitness woman using a fat man as a Bosu ball! đŸ””đŸ”„đŸŠ”

With Memes that Offend – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers! 🎉
30/09/2025

With Memes that Offend – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers! 🎉

🛐💉 EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Anna Forrest Breaks Her Silence on Her UpbringingShe’s known for her strength. Her discipline. H...
30/09/2025

🛐💉 EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Anna Forrest Breaks Her Silence on Her Upbringing

She’s known for her strength. Her discipline. Her no-nonsense approach to life and fitness.
But what most people don’t know is what shaped Anna Forrest long before the gym—long before the spotlight.

In this exclusive interview with Mother Mayhem, Anna opens up about being raised in a home where:

❌ ADHD “didn’t exist”
❌ Spanking was sacred
❌ Gender ambiguity was “attention-seeking”
❌ Vaccines were rejected
❌ Fat kids were given juice cleanses—and adults, turpentine

She was taught that emotion was weakness, modern medicine was a scam, and that “a good kick in the balls” solved gender confusion.

And yet, she speaks with clarity, not bitterness.

“They gave me strength—but I had to rebuild what strength meant.”

In 2020, when COVID devastated her business, Anna’s perspective shifted. She left anti-vax culture, embraced modern science, and began speaking out.

This isn’t a hit piece. It’s a confession, confrontation, and evolution.

📰 Read the full interview:
👉 https://praetorian.today/lifestyle/confessions/anna-forrest-confronts-the-legacy-of-her-parents-beliefs/

She built her life on strength—physical, mental, and moral. But Anna Forrest’s earliest training ground wasn’t the gym. It was her childhood home. An

đŸ„‹ The Gender Check Kick: A Brutal High School Moment RevisitedBefore Anna Forrest was the no-nonsense fitness icon we kn...
25/09/2025

đŸ„‹ The Gender Check Kick: A Brutal High School Moment Revisited

Before Anna Forrest was the no-nonsense fitness icon we know today, she was a teenager navigating a strict household and a world that didn’t tolerate ambiguity.

In high school, she delivered what she called a “gender check” to her goth classmate Josef—a quiet, androgynous student who dressed in black and didn’t fit into the binary molds Anna had been raised to expect.

The test?
A kick to the groin.

“He dropped instantly,” Anna recalls. “I thought I had confirmed the truth.”

Now, two decades later, the two reunite in a raw, honest interview with Mother Mayhem, reflecting on what happened, what it meant—and how forgiveness grows in the cracks of the past.

📖 Read the full story:
👉 https://praetorian.today/education/the-gender-check-kick/

📾 Note: The featured image is an AI-generated and edited representation. It shows Anna Forrest with her current physique alongside an anonymized figure representing Josef in a stylized high school setting. It’s intended for dramatic effect.

Long before she became a hard-hitting fitness icon and culture critic, Anna Forrest was a teenage girl with strict conservative parents, a sharp mind, and

🚹 New Masculinity Monday Article 🚹Did COVID-19 and modern social media weaken men worldwide? Marcus Cole explores the Gl...
01/09/2025

🚹 New Masculinity Monday Article 🚹

Did COVID-19 and modern social media weaken men worldwide? Marcus Cole explores the Global Sissification Hypothesis, examining how the pandemic, decreased testosterone, and the rise of TikTok created a perfect storm for passivity and effeminacy.

Only a handful of alpha males resisted, sticking to old social media, switching to alternatives like Truth Social and BlueSky, or leaving the digital distractions entirely. The rest? Trapped in the soyboy farms of mindless scrolling.

đŸ’Ș Real men are hunters by nature, not cattle. Reclaim your focus, autonomy, and strength.

👉 Read the full article: https://praetorian.today/health/the-global-sissification-hypothesis-how-covid-and-social-media-weakened-men/

The COVID-19 pandemic was unlike any other global event in recent history. While the exact cause-and-effect remains speculative, there’s a strong hypothe

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