Total Praetorian Network

15/07/2025

15/07/2025

🦠 BREAKING: Covid Enters the WWE Era
Donald Trump has signed an executive order requiring all current and future Covid variants to be named after WWE wrestlers. First up? The newly emerged Stratus variant, named after Trish Stratus.

It’s got the usual symptoms—cough, fatigue, congestion—but this one brings a signature finisher: a raspy, scratchy, promo-ready voice.

Doctors are calling it “Stratus Throat.”
Wrestling fans are calling it long overdue.

Coming soon: Orton, Cena, Batista… and maybe even The Undertaker for the final boss.

💥 Full article in the ring:
👉 https://praetorian.today/wrestling/new-stratus-variant-debuts-under-trumps-wwe-naming-order/

It’s official—Covid has gone full kayfabe. Following a surprise executive order by Donald J. Trump, all future Covid-19 variants will now be named afte

14/07/2025

🚨 New Article Alert 🚨

Ready to take your taste buds on a true adventure? Marcus Cole has compiled a list of 13 animals you should eat before you die—each one more unique and adrenaline-pumping than the last. From the danger of pufferfish to the exotic flavors of camel, this is the ultimate wild food challenge. 🦁💥

👉 Read the full article: https://praetorian.today/lifestyle/food-drink/13-animals-to-eat-before-you-die/

Life is about experiences, and one of the most thrilling adventures you can embark on is tasting the most unique and adrenaline-pumping foods the world has

11/07/2025

🔥 New from Anna Forrest on the Total Praetorian Network:

"No, Genuine People Aren’t Supposed to Be Lonely"
🔗 https://praetorian.today/lifestyle/no-genuine-people-arent-supposed-to-be-lonely/

Tired of hearing “genuine people don’t have many friends”?
It’s not insight—it’s a cope for people with poor social skills and a superiority complex.

You don’t need to go full hermit mode to avoid chaos. Just avoid the toxic 5%—grifters, manipulators, and drama addicts. The rest of the world isn’t the problem.

Being real doesn’t mean being isolated.
It means building strong, high-quality connections without acting like you're better than everyone else.

💬 Read the article. Share it. Break the myth.

There’s a lie going around—wrapped in just enough spiritual glitter and edgy detachment to sound profound. You’ve probably heard it: “Genuine peopl

19/06/2025

🚨 New from Nicky Forrest: Too Hot to Text Back 🚨
Why does she leave people on read? Because she can.
In this unapologetic piece, Nicky lays out why attention is earned — not owed — and why a “??” follow-up is a one-way ticket to getting blocked.
🔥 “I’m a queen of my time.”
💅 Read the full article now:

Let’s clear something up right now: I’m not ignoring you because I’m rude. I’m ignoring you because I’m busy, I’m hot, and I’m in demand. My

14/06/2025

💥 New from Anna Forrest on the Total Praetorian Network:

"You’re Not Free Until You Stop Chasing Validation"
🔗 https://praetorian.today/lifestyle/youre-not-free-until-you-stop-chasing-validation/

A real adult doesn’t crumble over slow replies or lack of praise.
A strong person doesn’t resent their parents for not coddling them.
Freedom starts the moment you stop begging for emotional handouts.

This article is a slap of reality for anyone still outsourcing their self-worth. Read it. Share it. And stop making excuses.

Freedom doesn’t start when you move out. It doesn’t start when you get a job or pay your own bills. Real freedom—the kind that sets your soul ablaze

09/06/2025

🚨 New Article Alert 🚨

Marcus Cole breaks down what it truly means to be an alpha male. Forget the petty games—asserting your dominance is about raw power, control, and making your presence known. 💪

💥 From physical overpowering to asserting dominance with your partner, discover the Big Three Alpha Ways in his latest Masculinity Monday article.

👉 Read the full article: https://praetorian.today/masculinity/assert-your-dominance-the-right-way/

Being an alpha male is not about playing petty games or trying to get attention with subtle body language or acting aloof. It’s about true, undeniable po

07/06/2025

With Truth Theory – I just got recognised as one of their top fans! 🎉

03/06/2025

🚨 EVELYN CROSS HAS SPOKEN. 🚨
ORMs? Banned.
Frameworks that mix CSS and HTML? Unacceptable.
JavaScript tangled into your HTML like spaghetti? You’re fired.

In Evelyn’s development team, there’s no room for sloppy shortcuts masquerading as “modern tools.” She built her business on clean separation of concerns, raw SQL mastery, and real problem-solving skills — not framework crutches.

💬 “If you can't separate logic, presentation, and behavior, you're not a developer. You're a drag-and-drop decorator with delusions.”

📜 Read her full declaration here:
👉 https://praetorian.today/tech/web-development/youre-not-efficient-youre-just-lazy/

🧠 This one’s a must-read for serious coders, business owners, and anyone tired of the tech world lowering the bar.

“If you need training wheels at senior level, you’re not a developer — you’re a liability.” There are two types of developers: those who build th

01/06/2025

🥛 GOT BACKBONE? THANK MILK.

On World Milk Day, Don McCarthy drops the lactose-fueled truth bomb: Milk built the West. Milk is power. Milk is tradition. Milk is not up for debate.

Meanwhile, veganism is being sold as a moral high ground when it's just weakness repackaged with kale. The more “plant-based” our culture gets, the more spine we lose.
Let’s reverse the trend—glass by glass.
👉 https://praetorian.today/lifestyle/food-drink/got-backbone-thank-milk/

June 1st is World Milk Day, and I’m not here to be polite about it. Milk built the West. From Spartan warriors to American pioneers, it’s been white go

28/05/2025

🌌 Catastrophe Chronicles – Episode 30 is here: "The Galactic Core Outburst"
What happens when the heart of the Milky Way erupts — and Earth is directly in the line of fire?

Dr. Cassandra Nexus explores a tidal disruption event unlike any we've faced.
Radiation storms. DNA damage. Ozone collapse. Religious panic.
Some call it prophecy. Some blame weak men. Others fight to survive.

This isn’t just sci-fi. It’s a terrifyingly plausible cosmic scenario backed by real physics.

🛰 Read the full episode now:
👉 https://praetorian.today/science/space/episode-30-the-galactic-core-outburst/

You are Dr. Arlen Saidi, atmospheric physicist. But on nights like this, you’re also an artist. You’re standing beneath the clearest sky in the souther

26/05/2025

🧠🔥 MASCULINITY MONDAY: CANDARA PANGI VIRUS SPECIAL 🔥🧠

So you shook hands with a guy who bragged about visiting a monkey brothel… and now you’re curled up on the bathroom floor with a 41°C fever, lightning headaches, and pain so bad it feels like your organs are fighting each other.

Your brain is melting. Your liver is failing. You can’t remember your name—but you still think you can take it like a man.

This week, Marcus Cole pulls no punches.
He takes you inside the body of a Candara Pangi survivor—from that first gut twist to ICU confusion, brutal weight loss, neurological fog, and the slow, disciplined road to recovery.

Because this virus doesn’t care how tough you think you are. It only respects men who fight to come back stronger.

📖 Read the full article now:
👉 https://praetorian.today/health/candara-pangi-survivor

🦁

You know the type: the smirking former business partner who scammed you back in 2019. Suddenly he’s back in town, dressed like he belongs in a budget NFT