02/07/2026
#12461: Single or Married, We Are Still Our Parents' Children
Single or Married, We Are Still Our Parents' Children
One thing I have noticed is that when people see an unmarried son or daughter caring for an elderly parent, they are often met with sympathy and concern.
People ask, "How are you coping?"
"Are you doing okay?"
"That must be difficult."
And rightly so. Caring for an elderly parent while juggling work and personal responsibilities is not easy.
But what about the married son or daughter?
What about the daughter who is raising children, managing a household, supporting her spouse, working, and at the same time caring for ageing parents?
Why is it that instead of asking, "How are you?" or "Do you need help?", many are quick to say, "Please take care of your parents."
As if that responsibility has not already been weighing heavily on their shoulders.
Caregiving does not become easier just because someone is married.
Having a spouse and children does not mean a person has unlimited time, energy, or emotional capacity.
Sometimes it means carrying even more responsibilities while trying not to let anyone down.
What saddens me even more is when caregiving turns into a competition between siblings.
One sibling is single.
One sibling is married.
One may have more flexibility in their schedule.
One may have children and family commitments.
Their situations are different, but their love for their parents should never be measured against one another.
No sibling should feel that their sacrifices are constantly being compared.
No sibling should be made to feel guilty because their life circumstances are different.
No sibling should be spoken badly about behind their back.
No sibling should be made to feel unwelcome around their own family.
Sometimes people assume that because a sibling visits less often, they care less.
But they do not see the responsibilities, struggles, and sacrifices happening behind closed doors.
And sometimes, the reason a sibling becomes distant is not because they do not love their parent.
It is because family interactions have become so uncomfortable that being around certain relatives or siblings causes more stress than comfort.
That is a heartbreaking place for any family to reach.
Our elderly parents do not need their children competing over who does more.
They do not need scorekeeping.
They do not need comparisons between the single child and the married child.
What they need is for their children to work together, communicate honestly, support one another, and put aside pride and resentment.
Single or married, every caregiver deserves empathy.
Single or married, every child carries burdens that others may not see.
Single or married, we are still our parents' children.
Before judging a sibling's contribution, try understanding their circumstances.
Before criticising, try offering help.
Before reminding someone of their responsibilities, ask them how they are doing.
A little kindness can go a long way.
Because caring for elderly parents should never be a competition.
It should be an act of love that brings families together, not drives them apart.
Read on website:
https://www.whispers.sg/c/sgwhispers/posts/12461
