27/11/2025
๐๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐จ๐ญ/๐๐๐๐ฅ/๐๐ฉ๐๐๐ค ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐ฒ.
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โLove relationship system in Reel and Apaak communities of Yirol West county undergoes all steps inherited from ancestors. Some steps are the same with Ciec or Aliab of Greater Yirol but not sure of some.
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โThis piece is basically based on what I know in the past which is necessary for this generation to know and see whether modern life inflicts changes.
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โThe first stage is to stop a girl on the way by a group of men or individually to ask her name and that of her parents. One of the group members is designated as the man to be in courtship after a full introduction is completed.
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โA girl may reject if a man from the same clan already had a relationship with her or she may accept for you to proceed to the next steps.
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โThis stage of acceptance is another vibe in Bor and Twi communities of Jonglei. Here, a girl does not personally accept her proposed suitor. This is decided by a Battalion of girls paraded in front of you in their home for a character audit. Yourself and your ancestors are part of the equation.
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โShould they find out one of your great grandparents murdered someone or stole a chicken hundred years ago, you will be disqualified and there is nothing you can do about it.
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โAfter the acceptance stage, the man can now proceed to what is called "goornรฏn" where you go to a girl's home usually at night (7:00pm). Modern lifestyle puts this stage to daytime in towns while unchanged in villages.
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โIf the girl's house is "aduรซl" (local skyscraper) you will climb and sit on the balcony waiting either to be accommodated or chased. And if the girl's home has "ayuรฏj or hรถt pieny", you will stand at the outskirt of the homestead and make a sound using your throat to register your presence .
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The girl will come to recognize you and report back to the parent. If they find out you are "g*t mรซtot" (2nd or 3rd born without a chance to marry), you will not be given a seat and leave like a dog without a tail. And if lucky, you will be accommodated making 1% of your journey completed.
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โYou are not qualified for night conversations at this stage. The girl will only prepare where you sleep and disappear until morning "ba yi be thuol raar" only to be given few words and leave.This stage continues for about 3 months before you qualify for night conversations.
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โThe next stage is "ba akรถl nyuaak" where a girl and the suitor sleep on the same hide (used in the past but bed/mattress now). Remember, it is only sharing without touching your bodies. This may take 4 months to negotiate. Sometimes your agemates get involved in this negotiation.
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โThe topic about apong is like committing su***de. It is discussed when the relationship reaches 5 or 6 years. You can't dream about it now and pronouncing it by mistake leads to a red card.
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โAfter sharing the bed comes "thiรซng" and "kuew" where the girl's hand is used as the pillow while the other hand is placed on the upper side of ribs while potatoes pierce your back when sleeping. This may take several months to negotiate too.
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โAs this happens, your 3rd tail must be correctly aligned between the thighs to avoid misbehavior. This tests your resilience and that's why many Atut can endure long time without tasting forbidden fruit. Culture teaches them tolerance and control of lust.
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โAfter completing this phase, the road to Jerusalem is now clear. You can start behaving like someone promised by cartels to secure appointments in the Central Bank or Ministry of Finance.
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โBut before you advance to forbidden fruit, you can now ask to know your position in the hierarchy. Remember, girls in the village rank their lovers from the first to the least loved and your senior is revealed to you by name. "nuer bi ke mac".
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โYou are lucky if you secure a second position. I was once placed in number 11, pending further scrutiny.
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โPromotion depends on what you do or have. Those with the best bulls or oxen as well as Wrestlers are easily promoted. Someone can be number 5 in January but rose to number one with all the privileges in April if he knocks down a powerful wrestler.
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โWhen you see a wrestler knocking his opponent down like a pumpkin, he is fighting to secure a position in someone's daughter's heart.
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โThe worst comes when you meet on the same day of "goornรฏn" with your senior or the person above you . Nobody will attend to you for conversation. You will only be laid there like a wood while he enjoys his life in the next part of the tukul, probably 1 metre away from you.
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โIf Israel starts bombarding Gaza in the middle of the night, your job is only to salivate with the decorum. Any misbehavior to interrupt the ongoing tournament will automatically lead to your definite dismissal in the love race.
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โA girl may be married to someone while you are still struggling with some stages before the final score.
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โSome of these stages may not be necessary if your intention is to marry. Sometimes, girls are not involved hoping they will comply with her parents' decisions at the end.
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Emmanuel Sunday de John who enjoyed the golden days in the village and cattle camps in Atut and Ciec territories may add what is left out.
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โIs the current generation with their gym boys following this culture or deviated a long time ago?.
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โPesuec Arok
โHi Thoura
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