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Lizardville Productions, Bangkok Noi (2025)

19/04/2025

"Resurrection Room" is not just for Easter.
John Gartland's novel rises again; from Lizardville Productions, available from Amazon.

24/03/2025

Jive Lives
Act 2
With Long John In Patpong.

There’s a fat little bitch in a tutu
to be found in the Bar Soixante Neuf,
You can fo**le her there
if you must do,
for like all of the staff,
she won’t bite you.
Lord knows,
they’ve been fo**led enough.

I know a few things about dogs,
he said, continuing to rant
in the Emanon Snug,
Yes, you’ll have oftentimes heard it said,
If you want a friend, then get a dog,
Sure, sometimes
a bow wow’s loyalty helps,
but there are packs of snarling whelps,
and dangerously rabid curs,
in kennels of infected words,
and their breath’s a pestilential fog.
They’ll c**k their leg on memorial stones,
feast on garbage and stinking bones.
Their claims to moral rectitude
are merely striking attitudes
while strangling true dialogue.
I know a few things about dogs.

From silicone bi***es
to digital glitches
I know a few things about dogs.

Theirs is a world of butchered logic,
the surgically neutered dialectic
In some posturing
clown universe of lies.
Go, steer by the Dog Star,
Matey,
on the good ship GTF,
It’s a following wind,
so load all sail
and hold this course.
We will see worse.
The Viking lodestone,
never lies.

Lizardville Productions
Treasure Islands.

21/03/2025

·
Cherchez le Chien.

Yes, to one day step into a scene
alluded to by seers and sages,
by visionaries of previous ages,
to soar above all lies and cant,
some iridescent hierophant!
He laughed aloud, that such ambition
contradicts his sad condition,
self mockery’s now his better part,
deriding a dilapidated heart.

And did you
have some comparable obsession,
some similar distracting dream,
Idealism so extreme,
refusing all concession to reality?
This was a path I seldom walk,
discretion prompted,
let him talk.
But his was interesting weirdness.
And who am I for passing judgement?
He seemed intent on bearing witness.

I know a few things about dogs
he said,
holding forth again at the Emanon Bar.
Been dogged by dames, disasters and demons.
I’ve lived among the barking mad
In foreign climes and remote regions,
And chased my own tail, near and far,
and even as a youthful scholar
was hounded by stiffs in Roman collars,
who reacted to my youthful rap
by beatings with a leather strap.
But my sustaining hope has been
to one day step into some scene,
some flawless context,
fleeting as a bird’s wing,
yes,
some miraculous, shining thing
(he laughed aloud.)
Arcane;
complete, and ravishing.

You’ll hardly be surprised by this confession,
(having witnessed many a drinking session)
such hyperbolic expectations
undermined my everyday relations
with the world,
And truly, after that I find
they totally
usurped my mind.

Lizardville Productions
Jive Lives #1

08/01/2025

Overheard in Rehab :5

Systems Analysis ran my appraisal last week.
The silence following my result was ominous.
Infallibly, the scan exposed my social In*******se,
above the water line, as wanting.
And my career has reached its terminus.
The real Titanic-opener, of course
(and this, H.R. found shocking)
the submerged mountain of my life
is mostly made of scoffing.
I am exposed, as no team-player.
The heedless rich, the feudal, all ideologues
invoke a scurrilous contempt which shows up
on my x-rays.
My skeptical molecular conjunctions
are betrayed by science, and it’s retrograde,
says H.R., career-wise, real bad luck,
to have it flagged, so obviously,
that you don’t give a f**k.
But it is what it is, the consultant fluted.
Such heretical programming, so deeply rooted
will always be dangerous; and that’s
how Ptolemy got his lobotomy,
they’re telling me.

appraisal

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