18/10/2022
The power of balanced thinking - how to use "inner wisdom"
What's stopping you from making a choice? Too many alternatives, an endless weighing of all the pros and cons? Doubts? Psychotherapist Tamara Hill shares a powerful technique to help you make the right decisions and move forward.
Have you ever worked with a psychotherapist? Or maybe one of your relatives or friends went through therapy?
Psychotherapy can be both a successful and unsuccessful experience for a client - it all depends on the specialist. I have heard from clients a variety of reviews about past therapy. Unfortunately, many of them have come to the conclusion that the techniques they have been taught only work in theory, not in practice.
All ideas are good until the time comes to put them to the test. Some stand the test, others show their failure.
I want to share a technique that is great for clients suffering from anxiety and depression. When working with such patients, I usually first try to determine how they perceive reality. Over the course of several sessions, we discuss all the difficulties that they have had to face over the past week. Sometimes we dive into their memories, looking for clues, emotions, hidden thoughts coming from childhood. In the process of this work, I monitor their behavior patterns, emotional reactions, negative thoughts and help clients see them. We first try to define what the “problem behavior” is, and then we try to figure out how and why it occurs.
It is important to ask yourself questions of a spiritual and philosophical nature that often will not be clear to anyone but you.
We then choose together from several possible solutions. Since therapy cannot guarantee that the client will "cure" or grow as a person, every week we try something new, we discuss problems in more detail, we consider new techniques and techniques.
One of them personally seems to me the most effective - the technique of "inner wisdom", originally used in dialectical behavior therapy. I explain it a little differently, offering my clients the following.
1. Think about decisions and actions, but don't overdo it.
Reasonable self-doubt can be good for you as long as it doesn't become painful and obsessive. Plunging into them, we lose the ability to think clearly and soberly and reason objectively, succumb to emotions and subjective ideas, starting to move away from reality.
If it is important for you to reflect on how well you live, it is better to immerse yourself in such thoughts alone. This is similar to mindfulness meditation, which is best done in silence and solitude. I often suggest that clients write down thoughts that arise at such moments in a diary.
2. Ask yourself important questions
It seems to me important to ask yourself existential questions of a spiritual and philosophical nature that often will not be clear to anyone but you. For example: “Why am I acting like this with a person I barely know?”, “Maybe I’m jealous or in love with him / her and just can’t admit it to myself?”, “Why is it always so important to me be the first / first? These are difficult questions, and as you look for the answer to them, you may find something in yourself that you did not suspect.
3. Rely on someone you trust
I have a wonderful mother who loves me very much. She helps me pull myself together when I get emotional. And it seems perfectly normal to me in a difficult situation to turn to the person who helps us stay balanced and ask for help to make the right decision.
4. Look at the situation differently
Sometimes it pays to take a break and look at a problem from different perspectives. It can also be helpful to take a break and not think about it at all for a while.
5. After evaluating all the pros and cons, believe in yourself and act
After thinking and weighing everything properly, asking yourself important questions, asking loved ones for support, make a decision and act.
