Heart2Heart

21/08/2025

Church wedding or church drama?
My fiancé and I are preparing for our wedding, and we both agreed on having a church ceremony. However, the church insists that we attend six months of premarital counselling classes before the wedding can take place. I am okay with this, but my fiancé is refusing. He believes that the classes are unnecessary, a waste of time, and just a way for churches to control couples. Now, he wants us to skip the church wedding and opt for a civil ceremony instead. I am feeling confused because getting married in a church has always been important to me. I also worry that his resistance might indicate how seriously he takes our relationship. Is he just experiencing cold feet, or does he have deeper issues with commitment? What should I do? Janet

18/08/2025

My husband hides his salary
I have been married for five years, and I still have no idea how much my husband earns. Every time I ask, he says, “What matters is that I provide.” He pays school fees and buys food, but I feel excluded from important financial decisions. I also contribute from my small business, but everything in the home is in his name. I am starting to worry that he is hiding something. When I suggested joint planning or saving together, he accused me of being greedy. I feel like a roommate, not a partner. I want a marriage where we plan together, not where one person controls everything. Is financial secrecy a form of emotional distance? How do I approach this without sounding confrontational? I love him, but I do not want to grow old in a marriage where I am treated like a dependent rather than an equal. Gloria

05/08/2025

Her ex is her landlord
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year, and recently I discovered that her landlord is her ex-boyfriend. She says it is no big deal; they ended things on good terms, and he even gave her a rent discount. I did not like the sound of that. When I raised it, she told me I am being insecure and jealous. But I cannot shake the feeling of discomfort. What kind of ex gives rent discounts if he has truly moved on? She insists they do not communicate much and everything is purely formal, but I wonder if she would be okay with me renting from an ex. I do not want to seem controlling, but this situation is keeping me awake at night. Part of me wants to ask her to move, but I fear that might create a wedge between us. Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to feel uneasy about this arrangement? Jacob

04/08/2025

Should I compete with my co-wife, or leave?
I have been married for seven years, and my husband and I were blessed with two children. We are not officially in a polygamous marriage, but recently, I discovered that he married another woman in the village. He claims it is cultural and that I should “understand” because his late father also had two wives. What hurts most is that he did not even tell me; it was my sister who broke the news after attending the traditional ceremony. Now, he divides his time between the two homes and expects me to accept it. My in-laws support him, and even some friends say I should “stay strong for the children.” But I feel disrespected and betrayed. I do not want to be in a silent competition for his attention. I am torn between protecting my children’s future and safeguarding my peace. What should I do? Anonymous.

25/07/2025

What do I do when grief turns my partner into a stranger?
My fiancé lost his mother three months ago. Since then, he has completely shut down. He barely speaks to me, avoids physical contact, and spends hours alone, either sleeping or scrolling through his phone. I have tried to be patient and supportive, but I am starting to feel invisible. We used to talk about everything and plan our wedding, but now he avoids all those conversations. I know he is grieving, but I also feel like I am slowly losing him. When I try to talk about how I feel, he says I do not understand what he is going through. I do, but I am also hurting differently. I miss the man I fell in love with. How do I support him without completely losing myself in the process? Will he ever come back to me, or is grief going to change our relationship forever? Sharon

18/07/2025

Why does my wife drag our children into every fight?
I am a father of three, and I am deeply troubled by how my wife handles conflict in our marriage. Every time we argue, even over minor issues, she insists on involving our children. Sometimes, she wakes them up in the middle of the night just to have them “witness” our fights or give their opinion on who is right. Our eldest is 13, the youngest is just 7. It breaks my heart to see them confused, scared, or forced to say things just to avoid upsetting their mother. I have tried asking her to keep our disagreements between us, but she accuses me of hiding the truth and trying to appear innocent. I feel like this is damaging the children emotionally, and I do not know how to protect them without making things worse at home. What should I do before it leaves lasting harm on our family? Michael

10/07/2025

He cannot propose but keeps calling me “my wife”. Am I married in his mind?
I am 29 years old and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years. He calls me “mukyala wange” in public, introduces me to his friends as “my wife,” and even jokes that our firstborn will be named after his grandmother. The only issue is, there is no ring, no formal introduction, no kwanjula plans. I have met his mother only once when she passed by his house and said, “So you are the one?” Nothing more. He claims marriage is just a formality, that “what matters is the heart.” Meanwhile, we live together; I cook, wash, and even kneel to greet him when visitors are around. Yet, my parents still ask, “When is he coming to officially speak?” Am I already married spiritually? Or just being used for free services? Anonymous.

03/07/2025

What should I do after my husband brought home a love child?
I am a woman in deep pain and confusion. My husband and I have been married for more than 15 years. We have had our share of challenges, but I believe we were committed to each other and our family. Recently, however, he came home with a child; his love child with another woman. That was the first time I discovered he had been unfaithful to me. I was shattered. What hurts me the most is the betrayal and his complete lack of remorse. He acts as if nothing happened. He still expects me to be intimate with him, to talk and laugh as we did before, yet I feel broken inside. I am angry, disgusted, and ashamed. I even find myself resenting the innocent child, which makes me feel guilty. I do not know how to process this or what to do next. Please help me. Anonymous

26/06/2025

My wife prioritises church over our marriage. What should I do?
I am a 40-year-old man who feels like he is slowly losing his wife to religion. We have been married for 12 years, but over the last three, she has become extremely devoted to her church. At first, I admired her faith, but now it is affecting our relationship. She spends almost every evening at overnight prayers or choir practice. On weekends, she is either fasting, attending deliverance sessions, or travelling for “missions.” I have tried to talk to her about spending more time together, but she says I am trying to interfere with her walk with God. Intimacy has become rare, and even the children complain they hardly see their mother. I feel lonely and unwanted in my own home. I do not want to be the man who competes with Jesus for his wife’s attention. Is this normal? How do I save my marriage without appearing like the enemy? Anonymous

20/06/2025

My husband joined TikTok and now thinks he is a celebrity. Should I be worried?
My 42-year-old husband recently opened a TikTok account and has been acting like a teenager ever since. He now spends more time filming dance videos, lip-syncing to Luganda love songs, and replying to comments from girls calling him “uncle bae.” At first, I laughed it off, but it is becoming ridiculous. He bought ring lights, started referring to our bedroom as “the studio,” and even turned our daughter’s school shoes into a TikTok prop. He claims he is “building a brand” and might start earning from views. Meanwhile, I am the one carrying the financial load and taking care of the home while he is doing TikTok challenges. Should I be worried that he is losing grip of reality, or just let him be Uganda’s next viral star? Anonymous

13/06/2025

When his mother became the other woman
I have been married for four years, and things were good until my mother-in-law moved in due to illness. What was supposed to be temporary has turned into a nightmare. She competes for my husband’s attention, criticises everything I do, and insists on involving herself in our private matters. Whenever I raise concerns, my husband takes her side and accuses me of being disrespectful. Our intimacy has vanished, and I now feel like a stranger in my own home. In our culture, respecting elders is expected, but I am starting to feel invisible in my marriage. I still love my husband, but I am suffocating in this emotional triangle. How can I set boundaries without being seen as the villain or breaking my marriage apart? Janet

10/06/2025

How did you deal with your mother-in-law?
In many Ugandan homes, relationships with mothers-in-law can be complicated. What starts as a union between two people often expands into a tug-of-war involving families, especially the husband's mother. While some mothers-in-law are supportive and loving, others can be controlling, overbearing, or even openly hostile. This can lead to conflict, tension in the marriage, or, in extreme cases, separation.
As Heart to Heart, we want to open up this often-taboo conversation. Have you had a difficult experience with your mother-in-law? How did you handle it? Were you able to find peace and common ground, or did things fall apart? What advice would you give to someone currently facing this challenge?
Your story could help someone else going through a similar situation. We invite you to share your experience, anonymously if you prefer, in the comments or inbox. Let’s talk openly, without judgment.

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