05/19/2026
One of the biggest things I’ve learned about survival mode is this:
Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.
There’s so much conversation around forgiving the people who hurt us. And honestly? I don’t know that I fully agree with the idea that everyone deserves forgiveness just because time has passed.
But I do believe we have to eventually learn how to forgive ourselves.
Because survival mode changes people.
When your nervous system is overloaded for years, when you’re operating from fear, abandonment, chaos, trauma, pain, or simply trying to survive day to day… you don’t always become the best version of yourself.
Sometimes you become reactive. Defensive. Emotionally dysregulated. Self destructive. Numb. Angry. Shut down. Chaotic. Reckless. Impulsive. Sometimes you make decisions you are not proud of.
Not because you are evil.
Not because you wanted to hurt people.
But because you were surviving with tools that were built in survival.
That doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, and healing absolutely requires accountability. But I think sometimes people stay trapped in shame because they believe, “What happened to me was wrong… but then I became someone I don’t recognize either.”
Healing is learning new patterns. New coping skills. New emotional regulation. New boundaries. New ways to think, react, trust, communicate, and exist in the world.
And part of healing is giving yourself grace while you learn and forgiving yourself 🩷
Photo taken by: MaggieGphoto
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1s4yk1akNWK7cked2pHJpE?si=RMHAKKd0RyOcI31bccM7dg
Apple: https://apple.co/4tL5uzI
