05/10/2025
This Mother’s Day feels sacred and tender. I’ve been waiting what feels like forever to have children of my own. Soane & I have been praying for this blessing for years. So when we finally saw the line on the pregnancy test that we were pregnant, we were overjoyed.
Then, at just over 3 months, with tears and sadness in the middle of the night, we experienced the heartbreak of letting our little one go.
The next day, we quietly held a little backyard service, wrapping our tiny baby in a piece of my favorite handkerchief — one that belonged to our sweet dog Kountry. I strung a little puakenikeni lei, and we laid our baby in a special place with prayers, music, testimony and love.
Though the grief is real, our peace runs deeper. We feel it through covenants made in the House of the Lord, through the whisperings of the Holy Spirit, and through the tender mercy of timing — that our baby now shares a “birthday” with my beloved Papa in the spirit world.
This is our experience. I share it with reverence, knowing that everyone’s path to and through motherhood is different — each one worthy of honor and compassion.
This experience didn’t end in the way we imagined, but it gave us hope.
Hope that we could get pregnant naturally.
Hope that God sees us.
Hope that our children will come in His perfect time.
As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said:
“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”
To all women navigating motherhood in its many forms — in memory, in waiting, in action, in hope — I see you. God sees you.
And this weekend, I still get to celebrate being a mother — because I carried life, loved deeply, and let go with faith. And our divine calling as women, has been mother from the beginning.
✨ Soon, I’ll be sharing some of the glimmers we saw from God during this time — the quiet reassurances, the beauty amidst the sorrow, the sacred moments that anchored our hope.
If you’re in a season of waiting, healing, or just needing gentle reminders of God’s nearness — I invite you to follow along. You’re not alone. 🕊️
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