Heavy Brain Space

Heavy Brain Space www.heavybrainspace.com
Space physicist, musician, and fighter: sharing science, exploring mental health, and creating heavy music.

11/05/2025

Thank you to each of you who follows me on here. It's nice to know I have your support even when I need to step away for a mental reset. Not only did all platforms continue simmering, but they continued to grow while I was away.

HBS is starting to find its people, and I'm amped!

It was a hot day, the kind that makes everything feel heavier. I had just started learning how to use a saddle and platf...
11/04/2025

It was a hot day, the kind that makes everything feel heavier. I had just started learning how to use a saddle and platform setup, and I moved slowly toward the area I planned to hunt. Once I got into position, a storm rolled in hard. I got soaked, which was oddly fun, until the lightning started and I climbed down. I hunted from the ground the rest of the evening and didn’t see a single deer until I spooked them in the dark walking out.

Being lost in the woods feels immediate and obvious, every sound and shape grabs your attention because you know you’re out of your element. Being lost in life isn’t like that. It creeps up while your guard is down. For a few years now, I’ve felt that same kind of lostness about my research.

That feeling has followed me into my PhD — a different kind of wilderness.

Full essay now live on HeavyBrainSpace.com.

I injured my ankle over the weekend. Luckily nothing’s torn or broken, but it means I’m off my feet for a few days. I ne...
11/03/2025

I injured my ankle over the weekend. Luckily nothing’s torn or broken, but it means I’m off my feet for a few days. I need the energy release that comes with training, especially the controlled aggression I get through boxing, so sitting still gets to me.

Today I’m channeling that energy into Heavy Brain Space. Reworking backend systems, planning upcoming series, and mapping out the first digital products and services.

If I can’t move, I’ll find another way to build.

Back on the horse.2 weeks away for me to regroup was the right move. Stay tuned 🌌
10/29/2025

Back on the horse.

2 weeks away for me to regroup was the right move.

Stay tuned 🌌

After getting dropped unannounced by a truly-careless dick of a psychiatrist and company, I decided I needed to get outs...
10/23/2025

After getting dropped unannounced by a truly-careless dick of a psychiatrist and company, I decided I needed to get outside, breathe fresh air, and find a quiet space to regroup. Monday night I was able to get out, enjoy the woods, and gather a few of my thoughts. For the interested reader, here's where I'm at right now:

Therapy || I think therapy is a great idea when you are lost and struggling. You learn ways to manage moments of distress; mindfulness techniques to help improve your baseline mental state; that someone will listen to your thoughts and offer objective feedback, seemingly without judgement. For those of us who have experienced this, we know that it alone makes it worthwhile. However, my personal experience has also shown me that it's not a great idea to engage in endless, frequent therapy. Too often, it simply keeps struggles at the forefront of our minds. That's not just being uncomfortable with facing challenging things, it's quickly becomes an abundant supply of stress we haven't yet learned to handle healthily. I decided to stop therapy in July of 2024 for this exact reason, and until recently, I've not felt the need to engage with a therapist. Mine was awesome, I was with them for 2 years, and if I do return to therapy, I hope I can work with them again. Therapy when you need it = awesome. Therapy for therapy's sake = detrimental.

Mental and physical health || I need to re-engage several important activities for my mind and body. Stretching every morning and evening, drinking plenty of water, eating to fuel my body instead of mindless snacking and over-eating, reading without a screen, lifting weights full-body again, reaching out to friends, and honestly, just stepping out of my world and into my daughters' more. I'm slowly getting back to ALL of these, but the journey to getting there is filled with many rewards that reverberate mentally, physically, and emotionally. I feel good when I'm productive. I have to accomplish things to feel like I'm not wasting my time. It's hard to always have this feeling on my back, but I'm starting to think it's precisely what makes me GO and DO instead of sit around wondering "what if?" I don't like that, and I'm not having it.

Meds || I just want another opportunity to tell you all that I FU***NG HATE SSRIs. I was offered these for 2 years before I agreed to give them a shot. In my 3-since years of experience with them, I've only found SSRIs to be emotional blinders. No different than an addict getting a fix to feel better for a few hours. It never lasts, and there's no way of knowing what helped in the first place. Toss these sh*ts in the garbage where they belong. Please note, this is before digging in to the many horrendous side effects. Seriously, f**k these meds.

Journaling and expression || Any time I find myself at a low, I write. Pen to paper, keyboard to screen, voice to microphone, brush to canvas. It doesn't really matter; there's just stuff to get out of my heart and head. I truly think learning to articulate our thoughts is the best way to heal from most things. We feel ignored, unheard, and uncared for, but when we ask questions, ask for proof, get shown how something really works, we can start to understand the REALITY around us. For me, this often blossoms as having something to express. It leads to me being an artist, and I think that leads me to feeling happy and fulfilled. I think we are all scientists and artists until we stop asking and expressing. I hope to help cultivate this in the general, and I'm starting with the HBS community.

Research || I'm making slow but steady progress with my PhD. Since 2022, I'm literally the only remaining person from the 2020 cohort - there were only 2 of us. Add to this the isolation of remote work, and it becomes easy to feel out of place, insecure in my skillset, and challenging to engage in deep conversations on the field with my peers. But I'm determined to finish. I don't know what I want to do after I complete the PhD. I used to have a list of goals, but those changed since becoming a parent, and I've not made a new one since. I think it's time to contemplate this one in a healthy and serious way. I'll have to report back on it.

Mental health is complicated, and it can easily be intimidating. You are the ONLY advocate for your health. You have to chase it mercilessly. You can do it, and I'm always here for conversation about these topics. I need you too.

I’ve been thinking about how much of our emotional life seems to be "wired in" long before we start training our mindset...
10/14/2025

I’ve been thinking about how much of our emotional life seems to be "wired in" long before we start training our mindsets. A recent large-scale study (link in the comments) found that about one quarter of people’s risk for depression, anxiety, and phobias can be statistically traced to their personality traits — and even specific symptoms (like insomnia or inattention) show meaningful links to personality “nuances.”

What resonates for me is the tension between "traits can predispose," but "they don’t determine." Even if you're considered higher risk in statistics, life history, relationships, interventions, habits, etc., your path isn’t forged by predispositions. It actually matters what you DO.

So maybe one of the most potent strategies is self-awareness: understanding how your natural wiring interacts with stress, relationships, and internal narratives. If you know that your trait profile leans toward high sensitivity or neuroticism, you can build preemptive practices (reflection, resilience training, boundary work) before crises hit next time. I see this as a liberating bridge between the scientific and emotional frameworks.

What trait do you feel colors your mental landscape the most (sensitivity, self-doubt, perfectionism, etc.)? Let’s talk about how we can turn trait awareness into agency.

I used to think I had to wait until I felt better to get things done.But the longer I waited, the worse I felt.Eventuall...
10/07/2025

I used to think I had to wait until I felt better to get things done.

But the longer I waited, the worse I felt.

Eventually, I realized that doing something was the only thing that ever pulled me out of a depressive slump, even if it seemed like a meaningless task. The further behind I was on something, the better it felt to make progress in it. The more I moved, the clearer my head became, and the more I felt compelled to keep going.

Recently, I found out there’s actually a bit of neuroscience behind this.

Taking action, even in tiny steps, triggers your brain’s dopamine system. It doesn’t just make you feel good, it chemically teaches your brain that effort is worth repeating.

Each bit of progress builds momentum, and that momentum becomes motivation.

One of my favorite boxers, and current global boxing king, Oleksandr Usyk, says he doesn’t believe he possesses motivation to train for boxing. Rather, he says he has discipline. When he does what he’s supposed to, he feels better and becomes motivated by it... a lesson backed by neuroscience (and hella grit; go watch his fights).

So if you’re waiting to feel ready, you might consider starting now anyway, because the truth is that the mental stamina doesn’t come before the action.

Movement creates balance, both physically and chemically.
..
Be kind to yourself today.
We're all working on something...




Shout out to all of you following along, newcomers and long time supporters! It still feels odd working to get better at...
10/01/2025

Shout out to all of you following along, newcomers and long time supporters! It still feels odd working to get better at this social media game, but I'm enjoying getting to create art and share space science along the way. So thanks to each of you, almost 300 here!

We point the James Webb Space Telescope toward the TRAPPIST-1e system because we can’t shake the question: does another ...
09/30/2025

We point the James Webb Space Telescope toward the TRAPPIST-1e system because we can’t shake the question: does another "Earth" exist out there? The latest data doesn’t provide a yes or no, but it does carve away some of the possibilities. Thick, hydrogen-heavy envelopes seem to be ruled out. A Venus-style runaway greenhouse seems unlikely. So what’s left on the table is thinner, secondary atmospheres, the kinds that could actually sustain some level of atmospheric equilibrium, and maybe even life.

But there’s a slight twist. The same star we’re watching this planet orbit is also making the search messy. Stellar “contamination,” or dark spots and bright flares on the red dwarf itself, bleeds into a lot of our measurements. So while every data point offers a possibility of learning something new, it also brings challenges for sorting noise vs real physics.

That’s the beauty of it: even when we don’t get an answer, we’re sharpening the question. TRAPPIST-1e reminds us that discovery isn’t about instant certainty. Rather, it’s about distinguishing between signal and noise, and carrying the question forward with more precision than before.

: : : :
What would be more mind-bending to you:
finding TRAPPIST-1e has no atmosphere at all, or
discovering it has one eerily similar to Earth’s?
: : : :

: : Look what came in the mail today, amped! : : : : I need your help though, : : : : : : should I swap SPACE and BRAIN ...
09/29/2025

: : Look what came in the mail today, amped!
: : : : I need your help though,
: : : : : : should I swap SPACE and BRAIN in this design?

Which side of the music industry are you looking to be on? You want to be the Artist, or in artist relations? The most I...
09/27/2025

Which side of the music industry are you looking to be on? You want to be the Artist, or in artist relations?

The most I ever made in one go as a vocalist was $4k, and that was only because my du***ss agreed to give 50% of my album's publishing rights to the hole of a label I was on at the time.

You don't need labels. You need shows and interviews (chop em up, post them everywhere on socials). Everything else you can do on your own using the exact same tools as these people who are "helping you," read, "stealing your money." At least when you do it yourself, you can care enough about all of the details to make sure your art is fully you. 99% of labels will not. A manager is only if you run out of time to handle it yourself, or you've made it to a regular level of income you are comfortable with (watch for stalling numbers).

**klabels

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