The Autistic Christian

The Autistic Christian The Autistic Christian is based on me, Chris, my recent diagnosis of autism and my Christian faith.

08/26/2026

Reduce the spoons you use during your routine. That sounds pretty simple. And you are the one who gets to decide what that looks like. For me, it was reducing the steps I take with my hair after a shower and also picking one pair of earrings as my go-to for normal days so I don’t have to choose every single day. About a year ago I started shaving my legs at my couch instead of the shower. So every morning while I listen to my devotions, I shave my legs. That’s one less spoon for the shower. What are some things you could do to save your spoons?

08/25/2026

This morning I was sooooo tired that when Ollie tried to chase a bunny on our morning walk, I briefly had a thought of just letting him off leash. Would I actually do that? No! But the burnout part of my brain produced this impulsive thought and the adult part of my brain put it in check. Impulsive thoughts are not in and of themselves a problem. The problem would come if you act on them. It’s not abnormal for impulsive thoughts, but we have to have that balance of the “adult” brain to remind us how to behave so we don’t act like toddlers or teenagers. If you are acting on impulsive thoughts, maybe you can find a trusted friend or therapist to talk to about it. We should not be acting on those thoughts, but it doesn’t mean we are broken if they enter our head.

08/24/2026

Why is it so hard to get rid of things that I don’t need? Well, for me, there are multiple layers which make it difficult. An item may trigger a memory. I might feel like I’m going to need it someday (I think everyone thinks that one). I feel wrong throwing something away if it still works, and what if someone else could actually use it. What if I need it later? Or the biggest thing for me is emotional regulation. I have my space and my stuff and I know where my stuff is in my space. It’s familiarity. Unfortunately this familiarity is taking up too much of my physical space. I’m slowly getting better. I’m trying not to look at the big picture but rather little steps. Last night it was pens. I think I need to convince myself it’s okay to throw away marketing pens because I have a ton I will never need. And no one else will need them either.

08/23/2026

You got a two-fer today. I went to a new church this morning and I think I like it. I may go back next week. But I got thinking last week and it carried over today that I wish there was church for autistics. Where you aren’t pressured to join groups, where you know people but can sit and watch and nod but aren’t forced to interact, where you don’t feel pressure to tithe (because I give online), and where you don’t have to greet your neighbor (today they didn’t do that…hallelujah!). It’s not that I don’t want to interact. It’s that my social interaction spoons are in limited supply. I had good interaction with a couple of ladies but I didn’t feel intense pressure from them. It was actually nice. But I’m guessing there are a lot of us who, when going to a new church, almost feel like a deer in the headlights.

08/23/2026

I took yesterday off from making a video, and that’s okay. It’s okay to break your routine on occasion. I did some good relaxing which I think I needed. And this weekend I got some things done around the house that makes it feel more settled. I’m really proud of myself for not procrastinating, because procrastination is something my brain is really good at. I looked up what might be the relation to my autism, and one of the things that stuck out to me was the feeling of overwhelm. Autistic brains don’t always break things down into steps. We always see the big picture. So we get overwhelmed before we even start the task. I can totally relate to that. What I have found works for me is to try not to think about it and just dive in so I am fully engaged before my mind realizes I’m doing the task. By then I’m in too deep to stop. Breaking things down into steps isn’t usually how my brain operates. I wish it would. I wish I wouldn’t always look so far forward because I always seem to miss out on other things as a result.

08/21/2026

Yesterday ended up being a pretty good day but it didn’t start that way. I used my Gracie Hart persona for the situation I had mentioned with feedback and that really worked! I was able to take myself out of the situation and pretend that anything going on was happening to Gracie and not me. It really helped me stay regulated the entire day. But before I left for work, that was a totally different story. I was still frustrated from the day before and maybe a little anxious whether or not my Gracie plan would work, so two small bits of my hair became the target of my anger. I actually did yank a small piece out and then even cut another small piece while trying to get a rubber band out. I even asked myself yesterday if long hair was a good idea for me, but I think if I just stick to my two basic styles I will be okay. I’m starting this morning off with a much better outlook, thank goodness! It probably helps that it’s Friday.

08/20/2026

I’m running an experiment today. In a current situation I’m dealing with, I feel like my true self isn’t the right personality to handle it. And I have been working so hard at unmasking so I don’t want to be inauthentic. My solution is to play a game of pretend. I like acting, so that’s what I’m going to make my mindset. I’m not masking, I’m acting. I’m going to pretend I’m an undercover agent. And not just any agent. Gracie Hart from Miss Congeniality. She figured out how to become part of a group where she really obviously didn’t belong at first. She learned what to do and how to do it. So today I am Gracie. I will use my investigative skills to figure out the role and do it like a pro. TBH once I get that all figured out, I think Gracie can become something that sits in the corner unless I need her to come out for a minute. Have any of you ever had to modify behaviors after working so hard just to be yourself?

08/19/2026

When you have been masking for so long, you are very careful not to break any rules. But when you don’t know what the rules are, how can you avoid breaking them? There are unwritten rules in every environment and I personally am more sensitive to the feedback I get because I have already put so many years into trying not to “mess up” so to speak. So when I inadvertently break a rule, it hits me harder than someone else. But what makes it even harder is if the feedback is a little harsh. I stew on it even more. I have been praying ever since this happened to me yesterday because I want to handle it how God wants me to and not let my emotions get the better of me. We are all human and the only one who walks on water is Jesus. So I’ll continue to pray because my autistic mind wants to dwell on this. But my God says He already has it handled.

08/18/2026

Autistic brains process things differently (as I’m sure you have already noticed) which includes emotions. Our highs are much higher and our lows can be extreme. Even to the point of “why did I even bother” mentality. We don’t always filter “important” and “not important.” When our emotions activate, they don’t have a regulation mechanism so they become really big. That happened to me yesterday. I had taken Flex Time on a specific day because my son also had the day off, and he chose not to spend time with me. So of course I’m like, “Why did I even move closer to him if he doesn’t want to see me.” I anticipated he would come to lunch with me and then go do his own thing. My expectations weren’t fulfilled so my emotions crashed and burned. And now they are hanging with me today. It’s not that I’m dramatic. It’s that my brain processes emotion differently. Hence the empath relation. I’m not a scientist and won’t pretend to be one, but I have seen articles that talk about brain scans in autistic people showing different types of brain activity than NTs including during times of emotional regulation. This is a real thing. Our emotions aren’t just overreacting. It’s how our brain processes. I’m not always a fan but I can’t change it.

08/17/2026

I just came across a Publix with a self checkout, which I was super excited for until the gal watching the customers at the self checkout decided to help me weigh a package of grapes. I had to tell her to please get out of my space because I am autistic and I don’t like people that close to me. I felt like I was being monitored like a school child which I never run into at Walmart. I understand she was trying to help me, but I did not ask for help. I am not sure if I handled it correctly, but I did not get grumpy with her, but I asked her to please step back. How would you have handled it? 

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