01/07/2023
https://www.facebook.com/100063026840121/posts/515575703886653/?sfnsn=mo&mibextid=6aamW6
This week's column.
https://times-herald.com/news/2023/01/telling-the-truth-and-getting-real
Telling the Truth and Getting Real
In the 12 months since my book, “The Veterinarian’s Wife, a Memoir” was published (available on Amazon and wherever books are sold), I’ve been making the rounds, speaking, chatting, signing, and listening. Hearing comments about one’s labor of love can be a harrowing experience. After all, I went through a prolonged gestation and painful labor to birth that 270-page baby. After that, one never knows what people really think, until they tell you.
Granted, the pros have far outweighed the cons since folks are not likely to tell a mother to her face that her baby is ugly. Who does that?
Actually, online reviewers do. They can be less than kind, even brutal. I once read an undeserved, one-star, anonymous Amazon review about a fellow-author’s book that was so savage, I wondered how he would survive it. Then I wondered how I would ever survive if such a scathing, personal assault were leveled at me.
I got one that came close recently, and I gotta say, it stung. It was a snarky bit of criticism that came from a female with no last name who said it was a DNF for her (did not finish in review lingo) because she wanted more about animals. Hint: It’s called the Veterinarian’s Wife for a reason. It’s an honest look at life from every angle, as the wife of a vet and the vet himself navigate their marriage, dual careers, families, therapy, good times and bad. Animal stories are not in short supply, either. While those are woven through the first half of the book, the entire second half is devoted to my veterinary husband’s escapades with animals. I can only wish she hadn’t “quit before the miracle” as we say in certain circles.
So I’m still a newbie author, and even one bad review stings. But it’s one opinion and I thank her anyway. I’ll take what I need from her comment and leave the rest. And as I lick my wound, I will bask in all the good reviews that far outnumber hers and soldier on.
Any creative pursuit is a chance to open oneself to criticism. Authors and writers and all creatives are vulnerable and brave. Creatives write, sing, make art, dance, perform. We put it out there, and the chips fall. Reviews and commentaries are our inevitable initiation into the world of public opinion. But I will let you in on a secret.
Creatives do what they do because they have this thing deep inside them that compels them to create. That thing is their God-given soul, their undeniable, insuppressible expression of their talent at their very core that flows from their innermost truth. I do my very best to express my truth as artfully and honestly as I can and if it lands with even one person I am thrilled and deeply moved. That’s communion. That’s church.
Writing non-fiction memoir and revealing a whole, true self is hard, exposing foibles, celebrating good times, and revealing the bad. But, it’s unbelievably rewarding when you tell me that you enjoyed reading it, and you laughed, and you cried, and that it must’ve been hard to write. And when you say, “you are going to help somebody” or “you helped me,” I am blessed beyond measure.
So many of you have called, emailed, and written to say thank you. This is my chance to say thank you; that my husband and I are grateful to our toes to hear from people like you who take the time to tell us they read the whole book and appreciate our sharing real-life, personal struggles and triumphs. We’ve certainly lived long enough to have had many of both, and many of you have, too. And if you haven’t yet, maybe you’ll learn something for your future joys and heartaches.
If you have gotten enjoyment from the book, I am delighted. If not, I’m sorry. If I have given voice or validation to your feelings, your trials, your joys, I’m humbled and grateful. In any and every case, it was worth writing. Like the Velveteen Rabbit, the longer we live, and are loved, and get tossed about until our fur is mottled and beauty fades, the more real we become. That’s the truth. That’s worth celebrating. Amen.
