Finding Morris

02/19/2021

S1:E3: Dreaming of True Love - Valentine's Day edition - BeaU Podcast

It was James’ heart (and mine) for people to find their partner in life and enjoy the benefits of a lifelong joy-filled marriage. We certainly enjoyed the time raising our family together and hoped to inspire others through our humble service.

It’s been 8 years since he went home, yet many in the church and outside of it are still struggling to find the safe and secure love in a lifelong partner.

It is clear more voices in this space are needed.

Last week I posted a podcast on love. It reminded me so much of James and the diligent work of Finding Morris. Take a listen. He may no longer be with us, but the work continues. ❤️~Kanika

Kanika and Chanza sit down to reflect on the Netflix movie, "Malcolm and Marie." We take a deep dive on how childhood wounds often drives who we fall in love with, whether it's better to be chosen or seen, and how the process of self-love pushes u...

02/19/2021

Why do men hide their true feelings?

James and the Dojo discussed vulnerability in relationships more than a decade ago and it still rings true today. Check it out.

01/22/2013

Anonymous questions for men to answer:::
Please women, these are questions for men to speak to. not women...

1. Are/can men really be intimidated by women? If so, what are things in women that intimidate men? From a Christian standpoint?

2. Why is it that men that women don't like or aren't attracted to pursue them the hardest, but the men that women are attracted to don't pursue them enough?

01/22/2013

exclusive relationships:::

on the record I'm against them...no bible support, and a terrible track record ripe with heart ache. plus the men and women that write FM for advisement are often broken by the boyfriend girlfriend process. So I speak to those of you that are in a committed exclusive relationships for 2 or more years. If you must have one why not limit your commitment to an agreed to period of time. this will protect you from staying too long because "we have spent too much time together to let it go?" Agree to stay for 1,2,3 years after which you agree to end it if there is no marriage or marriage proposal.

c'mon even the president has term limits! I propose term limit on so called
"relationships"... call it what you want but around two years I notice many "squirrel-ly" things when people call/write in for counsel from FM. I understand your in love and and all but the stated reason you began this "relationship" is oh so more important and well clarified if the there was a clear well defined end to it if stated by the man and agreed to by both. limit We can cut out the make up s*x, and concerts and, fine dining with valet at AGAVE (local ATL 4star dining joint) the fights and arguments...and get to it... either we are gonna get married, or were gonna break up...simple! can we please cut out this 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,and yes 15 and 18 year "relationship crap and get some term limits upfront
limits

I'm James from FM and I approved this message... ~James is the host and producer of FindingMorris.com, a shockingly honest page about dating... and he speaks for FREE! Contact James for your next singles related event at +1(404)954-0092 or findingmorris ^at^ gmail ^dot^ com

01/21/2013

MEN or WOMEN::: WHEN DID YOU BEGIN TO HAVE LOVING CONTACT [HOLDING HANDS, KISSING, TOUCHING, S*X (ALL FORMS), ETC.)WITH A BOY?

1-5 GRADE? 6-8TH GRADE?, HIGH SCHOOL? COLLEGE? WHEN?

01/20/2013

Women in serious exclusive relationships:::if your goal is marriage how do you expect to get him to propose marriage to you?(especially after 1,2,3+ years of dating

01/19/2013

Men can sleep with you and say nothing about the promotion at work that he got. We can sleep with you Friday night and say nothing about the promotion and go out Saturday with a woman we respect and celibate our new promotion.

You can not make us respect you. S*x won't don't do it. Neither will your fresh baked biscuits.

01/19/2013

Men. Would you marry a woman with kids? Why or why not. Understanding that all women with kids don't behave the same way (women join in about men with kids):::

01/17/2013

Are they the one, or not the one?

You'll know it's Gods plan if you two can agree on how life should be lived, in the major areas of life.

Where do you want to live?
Do you want kids? How many?
How do you expect money to handled?
Family of origin issues?
Importance of friends/ hanging out?

If agree on all these things, and the man is yet pleased to dwell with you... women If you agree with these spiritual things and you are secure in the man as he is firmly guided by Christ.

Agreement is key. Make a list of all of the things that matter to him and to you and to God. Ask questions and also observe some of the answers for your self outside of the questioning. (people lie) Let patience have her way.

Get actual evidence that can be measured and coberated by others as well as yourself.

But what about love? Love wants to be free it really needs no coaxing. The bible compares love to a deer that is easily scared away... it's in this same way that your best love will also come like a deer, when it's safe to show up.

I ask you, how will you know that it is safe to lets your love show? AFTER you have seen, and gotten confirmation on your spiritual agreement with the other person. Too many of us rely on our heart and preferences in choosing.

"you like fish, I like fish too"
"you like movies, I like movies too"
"your from NY, my family is from NY too".
"your a pet lover, I had a dog growing up too."

It's agreement in the things of God that we should dwell on in our decision making.

When we first meet discussion of spiritual compatibility should dominate the conversation. We think that this is the time to evaluate your feelings for the other person...but, you want is for the things of God to be your starting and ending point.

How was church last week?
Tell me about your Pastor.
Do your volunteer at church?
Whats your favorite worship song?
Tell me of a recent message that resonated with you?

As you spend more time get into

Who is Jesus to you?
Are you saved?
If yes, How are you different now, since salvation.
You can talk about communion, baptisms, the blood of Jesus, etc. [ we need to learn what kind of Christian the person is]

Our emotions and feelings don't need a kick start...they're gonna kick in when ever they feel like it's safe to come out. Let's actually get to a safe place with the full backing of the Lord before we allow love to come out and play. Spending time with someone spiritually not only is it a great tool to overcome the emotions of meeting someone new, but it also glorifies God. It helps you to determine with confidence who is, and who is not 'called to be with you'.

Men who will put God first in his choosing of a bride. are assured the favor of God. One favor is complete and total peace in whom to choose... with a clarity that can only come from God. Women who will put God first in her choosing of a bride-groom (or hubby as we say it today) with gain a security and a peace in her choice that surpasses any trust that she has known... greater than the boyfriends of your youth, so great that it could only be God.

You'll know they are the one when you take the time to see them as God see's them, to spend time with them in discussion about...and not just relying on your feelings, and preferences.

~James is the host and producer of FindingMorris.com, a shockingly honest page about dating... and he speaks for FREE! Contact James for your next singles related event at +1(404)954-0092 or findingmorris ^at^ gmail ^dot^ com

01/16/2013

Here is what i'm saying... Cute or not so much... men and women alike have the same problem.

the cute woman has to get men to stop focusing sooo much on her looks... and see beyond the beauty to the woman she is inside.

likewise the less attractive woman has to get men to stop focusing sooo much on her looks... and see beyond the face and outward appearance and focus to the woman she is inside. [and still love me]

Men have this issue as well. How can I get her to see beyond my, success, my position of power, my money, and look at the man I truly am inside. [and still respect me]

life long joy filled marriages are built on spiritual things at their core. the preferences that we all have are fine, and even good to have... they just should not be used as our primary grounds in choosing.

01/15/2013

If you look like Gabrielle (Daddy's Little Girl) you may have as many problems dating as Gabourey (Precious) ::: Lets face it, beautiful women attract a lot of attention from men. The problem with that is men are visual, and have a difficult time focusing on righteousness around beautiful women that we are attracted to. So what is a good looking woman to do?


First of all, it's not your fault you're beautiful, your mom and dad made you that way. No shame in that, so don't let anyone push you to feel funny about looking great.


The issue is how to get the man you're interested in to keep his eyes on something righteous, and not just your hind parts. One way is to be of service to people. Usher at church, serve at a homeless or abused women shelter, help a loved one with their business, work in your local community center. Choose something that you have a passion for, and do it to bless God via those people AND NOT to find a man. The point is to grow a desire to be of service to people and the natural result of all of this is to get men of course and everyone around you to focus on your heart--the place where your thoughts and intentions reside...and not just your pretty face.


I know this works as Ruth found favor with Boaz as he saw her service in the fields, and saw her service to her mother in law. I'm sure her reputation for being a woman of service preceded her in the community. Using your gifts to serve will bring you into the presence of great men, the bible proclaims. Proverbs 18:16. How many of ya'll women want a great man? (cupping my hand to my ear listening)


But what if you're not attractive. Like it or not, the majority of men from FM do not think that the lead actress from the motion picture "Precious" is a good looking woman. Ugly women and ugly men do in fact exist...lets keep it real, and I will certainly keep it shockingly honest... and so does the bible.... the bible describes Leah the older daughter of Laban as having " eyes (that) were weak and dull looking," and compares her physical appearance to her younger sister Rachel who "was beautiful and attractive." ... today we would say that Leah was ugly and Rachel was a dime... let's keep it one hundred! Yes, the bible put it out there.


Being ugly in appearance is often an obstacle to being found as a woman, but not always! While in pursuit, Jacob wanted to marry her younger sister Rachel and NOT her less attractive sister Leah...


Here is what I have found in service to cute and not so cute singles alike..Less attractive men and women will/ and do have premarital s*x in attempts to overcome the social stigma of who is cute and who is not. To get the attention, and serious consideration from their intended love interest is serious business. It could mean the difference between getting married and having kids, and being the chick who is known for having a "great personality." Over the years I've served the singles, I have been in many conversations with less attractive women that slept with a man because she was lonely and really just wanted to be held, and comforted...and ended up in bed with them. Men too will spend large sums of money, or use their social or political power to woo a woman that he likes, and just wants a chance to get to know her....

I said all of this to say...The point of this post is to encourage, and at the same time not deny the practical challenges that some less attractive men and women have in getting down the road to marriage. In the end, the only things that remain are the things you do for God. Everything else will fade. The same things that the cute singles have trouble with, the socially less attractive have to consider the same things.


Both have to wonder why someone approaches them.
Both have to guard their hearts.
Both have to walk the narrow path down the road to marriage...
and both have to get people to stop focusing so much on their appearance, and see the content of their character.


The focus on outward appearance is not bad or good. It's just the way we are built. Your goal as the stunning woman, or the plain Jane or the unattractive man is to move the conversation off of appearance, and on to Christ, and His character... It's time to get the focus on to your christian character, and the way you use your gifts to the glory of God. Being Christian is the MAIN thing that we should have in common. Somehow we have elevated s*xual attractiveness higher than Christian character. In our thinking Gabriel [Daddy's little girl and countless Morris Chestnut movies] has far more value than does Gabourey. She may, but the way to find this out is by looking within, and not JUST on outward appearance.

~James is the host and producer of FindingMorris.com, a shockingly honest page about dating... and he speaks for FREE! Contact James for your next singles related event at +1(404)954-0092 or findingmorris ^at^ gmail ^dot^ com

01/15/2013

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01/14/2013

many women share with me the "i'm supposed to feel" line when talking with about about a guy... i'm supposed to feel like I love him by now.... your supposed to have proof of who he is in Christ, lets change this to your supposed to know [from doing your home work and letting patience have her way], your supposed to get confirmation from the guy, of things the Lord has privately shared with you.

01/13/2013

we have to learn how to makes choices based on the word of God and NOT our feelings. the heart is the most wicked and deceitful of all things… it is not to be trusted in making a decision, especially not one about whom to date and marry. 'monnow!?

01/13/2013

women::: if you were pursued by a man that wanted to take you out (then he did), and was fun to talk with, and loved your company...then...you learn a year later that he had no intention of marrying you from the very beginning, how would you feel?

would you be devastated? would you search your mind for signs? would you confront him? would you continue dating him? if you were having s*x (most do) would you continue to? would you begin to ask the next guy about his intentions from the beginning?

01/13/2013

men::: do what ever it takes to prevent hurtful surprises. women look to you for security, and a hurtful surprise does nothing for her security in you. be upfront with your intentions: if you only want a date say so! if you only want s*x say so! it wont mess up your game. you'll still get laid! the man of God however... you will need to share your intentions just like the regular guy does. you think because your a minister, or because you faithfully attend church that a woman should just know what you really want from her? no no no my brother, stand up and with clarity, honoring God, make your intentions know to a woman from the beginning. It's in this way that you allow the woman to evaluate you to the stated end you spoke of. If your interested in marriage, then say that and allow her and her accountability team evaluate you. that is if you have no ulterior motives to hide... right. give her the advantage of the truth, allowing her to use her mind in evaluating you and not a wishful heart, or fantasy. be a man and protect her heart from the hurtful surprise of thinking that you are the one, when from the beginning you were only interested in hanging out.

women:::find out why he’s is requesting the pleasure of your company. right now!

James is a writer of the shockingly honest blog bout dating, findingmorris.com and he speaks for FREE! Please contact him for your next singles event: +1404-954-0092 or findingmorris #@# #

01/13/2013

Finding Morris Newsletter

Atlanta::: are you coming? So the Dance, is now a Dance and Talent show. Saturday Feb 16th for a Devine Valentine Dance and Talent showcase. The details are coming, but it well be a great opportunity for you dress up and look good in a Christian atmosphere. make plans now to hang with FM on Valentines weekend! --sign up to updates here-->http://www.findingmorris.com/fmnewsletter

Finding Morris Newsletter Email Forms

01/12/2013

save the date ATL!
Saturday Feb 16th for a Devine Valentine Dance.
You coming?

01/10/2013

women::: you are the earthly sufficiency for some person on this earth. you were created and given gifts to be a blessing to someone... not just for you to look fly in your new car, new job, fly crib.

you were bought with a price, you are blessed to be a blessing. not for you to become so full of your self that you become convinced that your "ish" don't stink.

stop waiting around for your spouse to come, and get up and become useful to the cause God has gifted you to be a part of. you are the earthly sufficiency for some person on this earth.

woman reading this, trust me when i'm telling you that he is looking for you high and low. he is asking around, he is going to all the places that he thinks you may show up. he's hoping that you heard from God about where you should go to be of service to Him. we don't expect to find you sitting on your couch at home. (we don't expect to make it to your couch until after many dates) we expect to meet you out doing your thing, using your gifts.

the bible teach us that your gifts shall make room for you, and bring you in to the presence of great men. how many of ya'll need to be introduced to a great man?

James is a writer of the shockingly honest blog bout dating, findingmorris.com and he speaks for FREE! Please contact him for your next singles event: +1404-954-0092 or findingmorris #@# #

01/10/2013

I truly love you guys, even though y'all get on my frickin nerves sometimes :-)

I know it must be thought to hear from me too

I'm shockingly honest because you can handle the truth, you need to hear it for where your going!

Your becoming more and more ready every day!
God is teaching you His ways and even though you don't like many of them. Your beginning to believe in Him and what He is sharing with you.

Your season of singleness won't last forever.
Your desire to be married lies with your readiness to give. Your spouse needs your gifts. So boldly go and use them to the Glory of God and find her/ allow him to find you using those very gifts to win them over.

01/09/2013

women, we think if we can get a well timed statement to you... we believe in telling a woman "i love you" as a method to take advantage of being alone with you. we think that it can help to lower a woman's inhibition and get us into your draws.

Do men have this right or is this just an old school myth that men share with one another.

01/08/2013

Listen women. Stop the fantasies! He hasn't done anything. He hasn't asked you out!
Let that man step up first and state his intentions!

01/08/2013

We are not born one flesh... we BECOME one flesh!
That means you change they change until you fit together.

If you get off your high horse long enough to dwell with us peasants you may notice that even your defecation may have a tendency to offend the olfactory sense just as much as much as everyone else's.

01/07/2013

women::: now that you know your spouse is coming, how will you deal with allllll of those male friends you have. some you slept with, some you just dated, some its been just friendship...

will you keep them? what will you say to your spouse?

men you can speak to this as well.

01/06/2013

If your dating in private with just you and them and no one else around.... Consider dating publicly. In restaurants, movies, coffee bars, book stores, anywhere there are plenty of people.

Dating publicly helps you to flee from the temptations of lustful thoughts, that often lead to many forms of s*x.

Most people will not give in to temptations that they have in public and fulfill them s*xually right there. Most people won't. :-)

I'm just saying. Keep it public and keep it temptation free, and glorify God to boot.

01/05/2013

congratulations, the you just got a word that you will be meeting your spouse this June! that's awesome!

my question for those that truly believe its gonna happen:::

what will you change in your life to make preparation for in their arrival?

your home / homelife?
your money?
your heart?
your spiritual walk?
your family of origin relationship?
your work?
your friendships/associations?

only a fool says i'm amazing, I dont have to change anything.

01/04/2013

Bob and Gloria Farley's Love Story - Video -

Paul Carrick Brunson - posted this video... my faithful family::: please pay attention to the quality of character each of these people posses. this is what you need to sustain a joy filled-life long marriage. marriage is forever.


http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Bob-and-Gloria-Farleys-Love-Story-Video

When Bob and Gloria Farley got married, they had no idea they'd have to fall in love twice to make their relationship work. Watch as they share how they overcame an unimaginable accident and reveal the secret to their 42 years of marriage.

01/03/2013

Do you still go condom shopping? These teens do. Now that your saved and still having s*x. Is condom shopping okay?

01/02/2013

FM::: i'm on the fence about singles writing a list of qualities they are looking for our side of God's list requirements. I'm kinda half opposed to it because nann none of yall need any help pointing out in the other person the stuff your looking for. a woman can spot a short man from a mile away :-) she doesn't need the help of a list saying "must be tall or taller than me"... where singles need the help is looking for list requirements for who you'd like to become in honor of someone else.

the other half of me on this topic understand the value of getting a vision for where you are going...

i'm mostly against singles making a list... focus on making you better for the one to come.

01/01/2013

my cousin is 13 and is staying with us over the holidays. according to him here is what he thinks grown women are looking for in a man (his list not mine). according to him, as long as a man has these things, he can basically get any woman. do you agree:::

tall
handsome
funny
mature
good credit
good personality
have money
car
home
good heart!! (his exclamation marks)

is my cousin right? is this the everyday woman's man list?
is this list complete?
if not, whats missing?

01/01/2013

To the faithful people of FM!

Happy New Year!

12/30/2012

we've been taught wrong. that we should go from strangers, to dating to, boyfriend/gf to living together to engaged to marriage. 'swill

12/30/2012

women::: the boy that asks to be your boyfriend has spent time with you, talked with you, seen some of your ways, how you live, who you roll with and even though he knows your desire is to marry, he says to himself.... hmmm she's great, but I don't know if I want to be with her 'like that' on some 'getting married tip'.... but I can tell that she's restless as we have been kicking it for a while... imma give her a little title. it'll keep her cool, and give me more time to make up my mind... i aint sure about the whole marriage thing period, but at least this way we can kick it some more.

12/29/2012

women::: a boyfriend is a boy who is unsure of what he wants with you...
..and most of you say at least he is more sure about me than he is of any other woman.

12/28/2012

Jones-Pothier just posted this:::

Relationship Tip...
Respect people's relationships. There's so many fish in the sea, so why mess with one that's already been caught? Remember, if you're the side chick, once you catch him your position is up for the next in line. God can't and won't bless a mess. Respect yourself!

FM::: relationships as they are commonly defined today would not have been valid road blocks for me when I was single 4 years ago. If some dude would have been talking with my wife-to-be with no ring, no engagement/betrothal I would have still approached her the same way. sought agreement in spiritual things, then smart things, silly things and heart things... once I had done the homework, I would be able to see her as bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh... the slow poke man with no plan would still be trying with dates and flowers, and I would have those too, and would have been ready to put a ring on it!

I see it like the word. she's single until she's married.