11/24/2024
Grieving is the hardest, most painful work in every sense I've ever been forced to do!
We must take our hearts seriously! This pic is a great depiction of what it's physically like for us grievers. Child loss grief. Parent loss grief. Spouse loss grief. Sibling loss grief. Family grief. Best friend grief. Grief. It's universal. It escapes nobody if you love someone. This "recovery" is the rest of our earthly life. Grief takes immense energy which is why we are continually feeling depleted & exhausted to the bones. This isn't a sprint, but a marathon. You are going to need to pace yourself accordingly.
Protect your heart from danger during this holiday season. Remember, we are like this picture, a huge hole in our chest where our heart once was and it's like we are carrying it now, for all to see. In full view.
Some "dangers" could be the "busy-ness trap." Holidays are busy, especially from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Go, go, go! Do, do & do! It's a trap. Don't get snared by it. The best thing I do during these times is SLOW DOWN. Life is so hard enough right now without exhausting ourselves further. Too much activity can squeeze our hearts & hinder healthy grieving.
Other danger is the "expectation treadmill." This holiday can't be about pleasing others and making them happy. People pleasing is a treadmill. Once you get on it's hard to get off. The longer you step on, the faster the treadmill goes. You just end up exhausting yourself while going nowhere. It's not your job to MAKE people happy. You can't. They have to make that choice for themselves.
We need to find a way to make these holidays work for ourselves.
Another trap is the "Santa" trap. We might be tempted to hide our grief in an attempt to convince everyone (or yourself) that you're ok. You think if perhaps you give, give, give, you can escape the pain. It's a trap. You are not Santa, at least not right now.
Guard your heart by giving yourself permission to grieve at Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, anniversaries, angelvsaries & birthdays. We're healthier when we choose to live in reality. Guard your heart and don't get ducked into attitudes and activities that aren't healthy for you right now. Be proactive in your choices. People who don't do what's good for them in times of grief usually end up resenting it (and the people involved) later. You can't afford to let the holidays use you. You have a choice about where to go, what to be involved in, and with whom.
Take time with your own heart. Get to know it better. It's disfigured. It's bleeding profusely. Get in touch with what's going on inside. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Be nice to yourself!
Guard your heart. Nurture it. It is the well from which everything else flows. It is your most prized possession❣️
My Garden of Grief
