WTF, Mates?

WTF, Mates? Ranting and Raving and Puking, Oh My! A bitter, bitchy recluse who cries all the time.

I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in a while at work recently, and he asked me if I was still writing. That made me rea...
08/16/2021

I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in a while at work recently, and he asked me if I was still writing. That made me realize that…I’m really not, and that’s a shame. Because I enjoy writing. Whether it’s fiction, stupid funny blog posts, weird abstract poetry, or using what used to be a stupid funny blog as a diary…I’ve always…...

I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in a while at work recently, and he asked me if I was still writing. That made me realize that…I’m really not, and that’s a shame. Because I enjoy writing. Whethe…

So. I said I was going to write another blog, the other day, talking about how much my life and outlook on it have chang...
04/18/2020

So. I said I was going to write another blog, the other day, talking about how much my life and outlook on it have changed since the depressing piece of s**t I wrote one year ago. Surprise! (This one’s gonna be a depressing piece of s**t, too) Here’s my question: What’s wrong with me? I would genuinely like someone to tell me. [ 310 more words ]

So. I said I was going to write another blog, the other day, talking about how much my life and outlook on it have changed since the depressing piece of s**t I wrote one year ago. Surprise! (This o…

I get excited when I start to see the leaves changing colors. When the air gets crisper, and I can pull out my hoodies a...
10/10/2019

I get excited when I start to see the leaves changing colors. When the air gets crisper, and I can pull out my hoodies and cardigans. When there are pumpkins everywhere, and it just starts to smell like fall. I get excited, thinking about the days to come. My birthday. Halloween, in all its costumed glory. And thanksgiving. And then, Christmas. [ 460 more words ]

I get excited when I start to see the leaves changing colors. When the air gets crisper, and I can pull out my hoodies and cardigans. When there are pumpkins everywhere, and it just starts to smell…

I watched the Girl Next Door tonight. I love this movie. It's one of my favorite movies. I love all of the actors in it....
04/22/2019

I watched the Girl Next Door tonight. I love this movie. It's one of my favorite movies. I love all of the actors in it. I love the music in it. I hadn't watched it in a very long time. There was a reason for that. It means something different, now. Back then, I would tear up during the first five minutes of the movie, reminiscing about high school. [ 234 more words ]

I watched the Girl Next Door tonight. I love this movie. It’s one of my favorite movies. I love all of the actors in it. I love the music in it. I hadn’t watched it in a very long time.…

It is difficult, feeling lonely. What makes it more difficult, is when that loneliness is accompanied by guilt. By accep...
04/13/2019

It is difficult, feeling lonely. What makes it more difficult, is when that loneliness is accompanied by guilt. By acceptance. By a feeling that this is what you deserve. When you have experienced trauma of a certain magnitude, when it has taken so, so long, to recover from this thing that was supposed to be fatal but somehow wasn't, you are left with this horribly bleak acquiescence with what you have and don't have. [ 389 more words ]

It is difficult, feeling lonely. What makes it more difficult, is when that loneliness is accompanied by guilt. By acceptance. By a feeling that this is what you deserve. When you have experienced …

As I settle down into my bed, in the last hours of the first day of the new year, I think about where I was one year ago...
01/02/2019

As I settle down into my bed, in the last hours of the first day of the new year, I think about where I was one year ago. This same bed. Same heated blanket. Same comforter. Same pillows. Watching the same tv. Using the same cell phone, plugged into the same charger. But I'm facing a different direction. I'm lower, underground. [ 360 more words ]

As I settle down into my bed, in the last hours of the first day of the new year, I think about where I was one year ago. This same bed. Same heated blanket. Same comforter. Same pillows. Watching …

I just finished off a bottle of whiskey. I'm eating fried dill pickle chips and seriously sharp cheddar cheese. My v**e ...
11/19/2018

I just finished off a bottle of whiskey. I'm eating fried dill pickle chips and seriously sharp cheddar cheese. My v**e is filled with milk and cookies. I'm catching up on greys. I'm alone. My car is struggling. I really want a weighted blanket. I need to get a tree for Christmas. I have two gym badges in let's go. [ 47 more words ]

I just finished off a bottle of whiskey. I’m eating fried dill pickle chips and seriously sharp cheddar cheese. My v**e is filled with milk and cookies. I’m catching up on greys. I& #821…

They say that autumn is the bearer of change. But autumn is a deceiver. A trickster. You wake up one morning, with the s...
10/17/2018

They say that autumn is the bearer of change. But autumn is a deceiver. A trickster. You wake up one morning, with the sunlight screaming through your window. The sky is as bright blue as the pacific sea, and everything looks crisp and clear. But when you open that door, the wind assaults you with vigor. Biting at you, all over, through the skin and straight to your bones. [ 50 more words ]

They say that autumn is the bearer of change. But autumn is a deceiver. A trickster. You wake up one morning, with the sunlight screaming through your window. The sky is as bright blue as the pacif…

Recently, I bought a house. I've never done that before. I never really thought I'd be in the position to do that. But I...
08/26/2018

Recently, I bought a house. I've never done that before. I never really thought I'd be in the position to do that. But I did it. Alone. I'm supposed to feel really awesome, right? Right now, I'm sitting on my porch, smoking a cigarette and drinking a corona. And partly, I do feel awesome. A year ago, I wasn't planning on being alive very long. [ 366 more words ]

Recently, I bought a house. I’ve never done that before. I never really thought I’d be in the position to do that. But I did it. Alone. I’m supposed to feel really awesome, right?…

Recently, I bought a house. I've never done that before. I never really thought I'd be in the position to do that. But I...
08/26/2018

Recently, I bought a house. I've never done that before. I never really thought I'd be in the position to do that. But I did it. Alone. I'm supposed to feel really awesome, right? Right now, I'm sitting on my porch, smoking a cigarette and drinking a corona. And partly, I do feel awesome. A year ago, I wasn't planning on being alive very long. [ 366 more words ]

Recently, I bought a house. I’ve never done that before. I never really thought I’d be in the position to do that. But I did it. Alone. I’m supposed to feel really awesome, right?…

It's funny...nothing feels the same. Some things are tinged with sadness. There is music I cannot listen to, anymore. Pl...
07/01/2018

It's funny...nothing feels the same. Some things are tinged with sadness. There is music I cannot listen to, anymore. Places that I drive past, that make my heart fall to my stomach, like I've just gone over a hill on a rollercoaster. There are days of the week that feel hollow, no matter what I'm doing. Dinner feels unsatisfying. Kissing my children goodnight feels half-assed. [ 598 more words ]

It’s funny…nothing feels the same. Some things are tinged with sadness. There is music I cannot listen to, anymore. Places that I drive past, that make my heart fall to my stomach, like…

Here's a crazy concept.... ....let yourself be happy. It really is very simple. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Chase...
06/24/2018

Here's a crazy concept.... ....let yourself be happy. It really is very simple. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Chase your happiness. Within reason, of course. Obviously, I'm not saying go out and kill people if that makes you happy. However, if killing people truly makes you happy, you should know that this is probably something you should get help for, and getting rid of that unhealthy urge would probably bring you happiness so.... [ 326 more words ]

Here’s a crazy concept…. ….let yourself be happy. It really is very simple. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Chase your happiness. Within reason, of course. Obviously, I’m…

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