Pastor Beau Tyler

15/06/2024

From the book of Isiah
14 Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.

15 And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood.

15/06/2024

Happy Birthday Solider ❤ 😊🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

14/06/2024

On behalf of my church, Whitestone Ministries for Christ would like to wish our veteran patrons an early happy Fourth of July!
Help us spread Jesus’s love and respect for our troops! Each like equals one salute!

27/08/2022

At our church here in Texas, our local Boys Scout troop does most of our scientific research.
They were concerned for our church’s safety when they read this article.
So. They went out to a creek bed in our community to do some research to evaluate the risk of an earthquake.
After careful thought and a peer reviewed study, they’ve confirmed that our community has an estimated 3 bazillion percent chance that we are safe from earthquakes. Great job, boys!
Next, they’ll be in charge of the church’s hurricane preparedness program!

The earthquakes, considered minor by geologists, started in December. No one knows what is causing them or how long they will continue.

27/08/2022

Top O the mornin’ to yas!

All jokes aside, we host an event at our church every couple months that we call the “Faith Based Fashion Show”. It’s a beauty pageant fashion show but the winner is always Jesus.
Anyways, our beloved organ player, Janeen, always used to go around tellin the girls “ain’t nothin’ a lil makeup can’t fix!”
We’ll, one of the pageant contestants (that isn’t Jesus) got into Janeen’s makeup bag for a last minute touch-up. Turns out they were allergic to the makeup, so Janeen don’t say that no more.

Melisa Raouf, a 20-year-old college student, will become the first Miss England contestant to opt for a totally natural look in the finals this fall.

26/08/2022

At our church, we have a play every 2 months. All the plays are adapted from films that we love such as “Schindler’s List”, “How to Train Your Dragon”, and “Bob the Butler”!
We sneak in little positive messages about the good book in each play. We also invite the local animal shelter to bring shelter dogs in to fill the seats!

The church also agreed to pay damages. "Hamilton" creator Lin-Manuel Miranda and the official Broadway production said they will donate the money to a local LGBTQ group.

26/08/2022

Our Sunday school teachers here at Son of the Father Ministries are allowed to s***k the children when they sin. When the parents come to pick their children up from class, if their child was punished during that class, the parents of that child are also s***ked by the teachers with the same paddle!
We’ve had people thank us too!

***king

The Cassville school board approved a policy this summer to once again use corporal punishment as a disciplinary measure for K-12 students.

26/08/2022

“Tall men stand closer to God” - Athleticese 7:1

The NBA star noted that he "didn't tip over" or "go upside down" during a flight from the U.S. to Australia.

26/08/2022

Young people are our future. When they get to be of age, they will be allowed to carry a handgun. We should just give them handguns now to avoid all the paperwork they’ll have to do later! Amen!

First major ruling since US supreme court’s landmark decision on weapons rights says state ban unconstitutional

26/08/2022

If Jesus knocked on your door said he was hungry, what would you feed him?

I would give him a bucket of friend chicken from Kevin’s Kickin’ Koop down the road from our church here in Texas. It’s divine!

26/08/2022