The holidays have been an interesting time since I was kid...
...my parents were divorced when I was eight.
It became a lot about making everyone happy at a very early age. We needed to spend time with this side of the family, and then that side...
...what if we just wanted to be on our own side?
Didn't get much of a choice until I could drive...
...but even then it was about making sure to visit everyone. The guilt was rough if there wasn't sufficient time spent in each house.
Maybe I set myself up for that guilt.
I'm sitting here on Christmas Eve thinking about my kids going to their dad's tonight (because it's "his" year), and I'm a little sad. Not because I won't see them, because they are in the same situation I was.
I think part of the problem is the expectations we put on this one day, or days. What if we had that feeling about ALL the days; that they are special, and should be celebrated?
Maybe that would mean that none of them would feel special? I don't know.
What I do know is that I won't be pressuring my kids to do anything or be anywhere they don't want to be. I will be making "Christmas" be the time I spend with them, the memories we make, the conversations we have, and I will be doing that ALL year.
Sometimes the biggest gift you can give the people you love the most is to set them free and allow them to make their own choices, and to not take that personally. Not saying that's easy.
Big love to all of you feeling the feels this holiday.